Registered: May 2001
Location: Arizona
Posts: 969

Cars and computers

this is an email a friend sent me.

Cars and Computers

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00
cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft does, we would all
be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die for no reason. You would have to pull
over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to shut down and
refuse to restart, in which case you would have to remove, then reinstall
the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, that was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would only run
on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (Now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the cars
performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target
for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 1374

Yeah, that forwards been around. Of course, neither entities involved had anything to do with it but its still pretty damn accurate.

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No thanks, I already have a penguin.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: here at the moment
Posts: 147

I am an auto-technition and I guess I find even deeper humor than you, fuck man I can't stop laughing...I'm e-mailing this post to my boss,...funny,funny shit!

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every day is a holiday, every meal is a feast, and every night is saturday night.

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