Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

If you were a product...

What would your slogan be, or what would your packaging say?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

Best Before: 07/90

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[This message has been edited by Goatboy (edited 06-13-2001).]

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location:
Posts: 1163

Not for small children or the elderly.

edit: or possibly 'Grip firmly and screw to open.'

[This message has been edited by Lightbulb (edited 07-28-2001).]

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: seattle-ish
Posts: 11266

"ingest 3 times daily, or as needed"

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http://stateofX.net

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

"contents may explode under pressure!"

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Non Carborundum

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Registered: May 2001
Location:
Posts: 2701

Capacity, 1.

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Fuck you I wont do what you tell me. -RATM

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

Ingredients: Animal, Vegitable and Mineral Matter.

Caution, may contain traces of Catholicism.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

Oh and i'd have 'Open other end' at both ends.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Van Diemen's Land.
Posts: 3607

"Contains Alcohol"



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IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with
seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Florida
Posts: 316

"non-refundable"

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9120

not that this was done befor

"may contain nuts"

"this product may be hazordus to your health"

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"Other than that Mrs. Lincon, how was the play..."

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 12544

The Improved


BILL-O-MATIC 2001*

He slices, he dices, he vices!

A 1001 USES! GET HIM TODAY!


*Not sold in stores. Not intended for use with psychotic, selfish, or uncomprimising egos. Not meant for commercial use. We make no express or implied warranties or representations with respect to the BILL-O-MATIC 2001 (including, without limitation, warranties of fitness, merchantability,non-infringement, or any implied warranties arising out of a course of performance, dealing, or trade usage). In addition, we make no representation that the operation or use of BILL-O-MATIC 2001 will be uninterrupted or error free, and we will not be liable for the consequences of any interruptions or errors. Contents may settle during shipping. Void where prohibited by law.

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"I'm not intending to imply insult or judgment here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as, an insulting question:
Are you stupid?"

--Melinda Shore



[This message has been edited by billgerat (edited 07-29-2001).]

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Registered: Mar 2001
Location: tokyo
Posts: 303

Batteries not included.

We take no responsibilty for depreciation caused throught the natural process of decay of this product. Warrantly void after 65 years.

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oh for fucks sake

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Canada
Posts: 1726

Satisfaction guaranteed or something is horribly wrong with you.


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Visit our webpage at http://www.user.dccnet.com/tantricam

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15123

"Don't Bother"

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You only live twice. -- Björk
Graphic Cheeseworks

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Princeton, NJ, USA
Posts: 248

"Secure firmly before use" *grins*

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5126

"From concentrate"

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 4420

suspense-excitement-adventure-on every level

18, suitable only for persons of 18years and over. Not to be supplied to any person below that age.

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....i've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing.....

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 9144

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 10121

"If you have trouble swallowing, this product may not be intended for you."

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19562

HA!

-m


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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

'Melts in your mouth'

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26383

quote:

---

Originally posted by billgerat:
The Improved


BILL-O-MATIC 2001*

He slices, he dices, he vices!

A 1001 USES! GET HIM TODAY!


*Not sold in stores. Not intended for use with psychotic, selfish, or uncomprimising egos. Not meant for commercial use. We make no express or implied warranties or representations with respect to the BILL-O-MATIC 2001 (including, without limitation, warranties of fitness, merchantability,non-infringement, or any implied warranties arising out of a course of performance, dealing, or trade usage). In addition, we make no representation that the operation or use of BILL-O-MATIC 2001 will be uninterrupted or error free, and we will not be liable for the consequences of any interruptions or errors. Contents may settle during shipping. Void where prohibited by law.

---

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

name one paint.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

They call him wonder,
'cause he farts like thunder.
He can't sing or dance,
'cause he'll shit his pants.

And it really ain't funny,
that he spends my money,
on things like bail
and collect calls from jail.

Amen.

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