Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9825

man makes love to lamp post

LONELY bachelor David Pithers was convicted yesterday of making love to a LAMP-POST.

Pithers, 57, was so desperate for sex he pulled his trousers and pants down by his ankles, wrapped his arms around the 30ft pole and rubbed himself up and down.

But magistrates heard his perversion was spotted by a man out with his nine-year-old daughter. The embarrassed dad moved away and told the confused girl that Pithers was just having a wee.

He then reported Pithers to police and the weirdo was arrested at his home in the village of Pontyberem, near Llanelli, South Wales - a short stroll from where the indecent act took place.

Pithers admitted causing the pair harassment and distress. Prosecutor Vaughan Pritchard-Jones told the court: "They saw Mr Pithers with his arms around the lamp-post.

"He had his trousers and underpants around his ankles and was moving about. The father moved away so that his young daughter could not see what was happening.


"He told his daughter the man was urinating - but he clearly wasn't."

The court in Llanelli heard how Pithers lives with his identical twin brother. He is now being helped with his personal problems by his family.

He was given a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £25 costs.

But antics like his are not the first to have hit the headlines.

Two years ago, The Sun told how pervert Stephen Bartlett got his kicks by lying under women's cars so that they would run him over.

He was hooked on being dominated by women and said it was the "ultimate."

The 30-year-old bachelor was ordered to pay compensation to one of his victims after an incident in Stafford.


In 1993, perverted electrician Karl Watkins was jailed for 18 months for repeatedly having sex with PAVEMENTS.

Watkins, from Redditch, Worcs, was caught face-down on the flags with his pants around his ankles simulating sex. He was also said to have had a go at an underpass.

Watkins got another six-year sentence in 1996 for attempting to make love to a black bin liner.


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forever in a trance

[This message has been edited by urbanjunkie (edited 08-13-2001).]

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

at least their chances of reproducing are slim at this rate.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

They should have arrested that guy and his daughter for disturbing that poor man and his lamp post lover.

-m


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Obscurum per obscurius, ignotum per ignotius

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6398

I agree with Mord.
The poor guy just wanted some sekZ0r.


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The red x will remain until Im not too lazy to fix it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

quote:

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Originally posted by Avondale:
I agree with Mord.
The poor guy just wanted some sekZ0r.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

He likes those tall thin hard bodied chicks.
It could be called date rape.

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Woof.
Gnawing at the skeleton in your closet

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: good ol england... (which is not so good)
Posts: 11

*sigh* another Madness fan takes it all too literally...



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i know you, you dont know me...

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26420

quote:

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Originally posted by Coffee And Nicotine:
*sigh* another Madness fan takes it all too literally...

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Johnson City TN
Posts: 91

Oh, I see why now.... HES A LIMEY!! sorry to all the asylumites that are from the UK, but it had to be said....

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There in yon light, bathed in the dragons blood, It is Siegfried, your new king.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: China
Posts: 11795

Mmmmm, hot oil lamps..... Gotta go now.

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Poop was her name, but I didn't care. That's the thing about poop: it makes one apathetic.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

Tak rules?

-m


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Obscurum per obscurius, ignotum per ignotius

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: China
Posts: 11795

Not this time. I got burned. But it was a good burn.

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Poop was her name, but I didn't care. That's the thing about poop: it makes one apathetic.

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Registered: Dec 2000
Location: NZ
Posts: 877

Odd that it is ok to screw whatever inanimate object takes your fancy so long as you do it away from the public gaze...

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The only real difference between those who enforce these rules and the 'freelance tax collectors' with balaclavas and flick knives is that members of the second group are more honest. They don't tell you that you're being mugged 'for the good of society.'

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10229

quote:

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Originally posted by Paint CHiPs:
Hahahahahaha!

Somebody give him a humor point.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location:
Posts: 39

quote:

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Originally posted by urbanjunkie:
LONELY bachelor Mr Pithers?

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 2532

At what point in life does one look at a light pole, and thing, "MMM, what I wouldn't give to have a go at that piece of work!"?

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YAY!!!

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location:
Posts: 64

quote:

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Originally posted by urbanjunkie:



trousers

magistrates

just having a wee

having a go at an underpass

bin-liner

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

quote:

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Originally posted by Richard Roundtree:

LimeySpeak + Public Fornication = Comedy Goldmine

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26420

quote:

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Originally posted by Dingle:
ummm, why dont you do it yourself moron?

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

quote:

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Originally posted by Dog Breath:
1. Limey fornicating with light pole.
2. Limeys confessing to terrorist bombings.
3. Mr Bean.
4. Mad Cow disease.
5. Spooky.

Is there a connection?????

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Yeah, I'm just not sure how the limes feel about us calling them limeys.

-m


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Obscurum per obscurius, ignotum per ignotius

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