Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

Hi, I'm not new here

I'm somewhat back from my much needed break, and I want to share something that happened while I was away from here, and hopefully get a bit of advice. The full story can be found here, as well as pictures of the injuries to my sister and myself.

A few weeks ago I was at my best friend's house, she was having a small party. A fight broke out after I was pushed into the room she was in (she was getting intimate with some guy), and she started cursing at me..and I said some things I now regret in response.

I backed off at this point, and she started saying VERY hurtful things, and wanted to fight me. My sister stood up for me, and this girl attacked my sister physically. We tried to leave, and she kicked me, punched my friend Laura - ripping her belly button ring.

That's a brief synopsis of the story. I also need to add she was high. She since has apologized to everyone involved, and until tonight refused to speak to me. I just received a message on AIM from her which has me baffled as to how to handle the situation. Should I continue to ignore her, and just let her drop out of my life? She hasn't been the best friend to me.. she used me, and was very inappropriate. But she was there for me when I needed her, and I do love her, I've known her for almost all of my life.

What would you guys do in my situation? I know this decision is ultimately mine, but seeing others point of view would help me out here.

PS: It would really help by reading the journal entry, I just didn't want to do a paste/copy in here.

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Octopus's Garden
Posts: 1005

Those you love are the ones that hurt you the most!!!

I read your entry and fund it crazy. This girl decided to go nuts over some guy ( I could understand her reaction if it was me tho ) and she decided to use physical violence. Barring the fact nobody cracked her upside her wittle head. I personally think it would not be in your best interest to allow this girl back into your life.

Let the girl fade away into your distant memory.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

You call those bruises!!!! Hah!

There often comes a time when you have to let go of people (friends/lovers/family...I wish family) and this sounds like one of those times. Or you could just make the bitch suffer

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

i would talk to her when she was in a clear mental state before writing her off. however that goes, you'll reach some sort of further understanding of the situation and have a better idea regarding whether you want this person around anymore.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

I just read the journal entry. If all thats true then the girl has seems to have some real serious mental problems...it doesn't matter if she was under the influence or not...what a cunt!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 12544

I know there's been some things I have done wrong to people in my life that I really regretted, and I was very sorry for doing them & wanted so much to sincerely apologise to those people for doing those things to them. I know everyone has felt this way one time or another, and this should be kept in mind when someone wants to apologise to you for a horrible wrong they have caused.

There are some things in life that can never be apologised for, and each person decides what those limits are. Just remember how you felt when you committed such wrongs against others and from there decide just what absolution and mercy you can give.

The fact that you are torn betweeen deciding whether or not to accept an apology from this person tells me that what they did was not one of the unpardonable sins, otherwise you would have told them to go to hell with their apology. Being the merciful person I am (sometimes) I would accept an apology.

My only law about major apologies is that one should forgive, but NEVER forget.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10153

i commented in your journal with this but i'll repeat it

wow, that is really fucked up

i hope that you are ok, and sometimes people say hurtful things because they are too afraid to see themselves in the mirror in true light.

still unacceptable. i would steer clear of her for a good long while. and cherish Laura.

best of wishes, you are NOT the type of person that deserves this. and knowing that you were hurt pisses me off. remember i am only a couple hours away

best of luck. and do what you feel is right for the situation

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

She does have a lot of mental problems, and billge is right, I am very torn. I don't think I'll be able to have her out of my life forever, my sister is already speaking with her again, so no matter what I'd have to interact with her eventually.

I don't know if I'd be able to forgive her though either, I do hold grudges, and what she said and did was so completely wrong, it makes me wonder about her character. I don't need people like that in my life.

Thank you though for everyone who responded, and *hugs to ASF*. Email me sometime if I'm not posting.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Van Diemen's Land.
Posts: 3607

That's pretty fucked up.


Laura sounds like a keeper, though.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NYC
Posts: 3598

CHANNY! wb......and let me kill that girl for you, please. She had no right, no right at all. And let me say that my navel is feeling sore just by trying to imagine how it would feel to have a bellyring ripped out.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

I missed (some) of you guys so much. *showers zoey with kisses and love*

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Registered: May 2001
Location:
Posts: 2701

I had some fights with my best friends before. Time healed the wounds and everything was hunky dory again. Looking back I realized that people fight about the most ridiculous things.
I dont think a few scratches and bad words are worth the price of a friendship.

BTW. Those are some small sissy bruises, last time I got into a fight my head was put in a vice that was tightened till my eye popped out. Gross huh?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15123

quote:

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Originally posted by Chantrea
I missed (some) of you guys so much.

---

And we (or at the very least, I) missed you.

Now... any chance I could get some of that lovin'?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

quote:

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Originally posted by Chantrea
I missed (some) of you guys so much. *showers zoey with kisses and love*

---

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

*loves Rosh & Rav too for super long times*

And I want to agree, my bruise wasn't bad. She kicked me only once before she was pushed back by my sister's boy friend. And my sister was scratched/punched only once. Our friend Laura got the worst with the belly button ring, and her car window has a crack in it from my friend pummelling it.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

Hey you're from Chelmsford....I'm from Chelmsford too

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

Ha! That's pretty funny.. we're the town that's named after yours. There's supposedly a Chelmsford in Canada as well.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

How original

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: MA
Posts: 2728

Isn't that what America is known for?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Essex, England
Posts: 4523

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Octopus's Garden
Posts: 1005

Try not to stress the situation...All you really need to do is think to yourself.

Is the risk of a situation like this happening again worth it?

Do I really need a friend like this?

Did I really deserve such an attack?

I mean ask yourself those questions and you will come to the answer you need.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Nanaimo, BC
Posts: 424

hey.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

either fuck her off and drop her from your life - or make her feel _really_ bad about what she did.

or, just kidnap her and drive needles under her fingernails.

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