Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18816

The lights are bright this starry night
Sitting with the company of my thoughts
I've been given the illusion that I am whole
At least, the appearance of one symbollicaly whole
For as I sit this seemingly bright night
You are out there somewhere
Sitting in this bright night
Alone with your thoughts
Thinking of someone, somewhere
And this bright night
Is always there

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18816

Wow, 11 views and no replies. It was either that good, or so horrible that all who viewed killed themselves.

I vote for the later.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

I liked it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

It was alright, aight?
...
...
night.
(couldn't resist)

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18816

Kewlness. I got bored last night, so I grabbed a pack of smokes; a portable CD player; "Movement In Still Life;" a pencil, and a notebook and headed out for the porch/deck/entryway thing to my apartment complex. I wrote one about the highway that I can see from there.

I liked the one I posted the best, probably.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

I killed myself. So put me in the second group.

OK so I botched the job but I still consider myself dead.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18816

So, you're only mostly dead?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19119

Nice, SP.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35669

I didn't really like it that much as 'poetry', but I didn't think it was awful either. But perhaps I am not seeing everything. What is 'the appearance of one symbolically whole'? Why not just 'the appearance of one whole' or 'the appearance of wholeness'? My initial guess was that you are saying that you only appear to be representing wholeness, but that doesn't seem right. I am missing the point I guess. This is how us physicists look at poetry! I normally end up thinking poems are too long. I'm not trying to criticise, because this is not the stuff that makes me grind my teeth.

I like the idea of how other peoples' lives are sort of inacessible to me except, essentially, through my imagination, even people I am close to. Also the way that distance disconnects us from each other. These are the two things that it makes me think about, which was cool. I often think about this sort of stuff if I'm sitting in a pub on my own watching people go by.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

quote:

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Originally posted by SocialParasite
So, you're only mostly dead?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: LfuckinA
Posts: 3375

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
I didn't really like it that much as 'poetry', but I didn't think it was awful either. But perhaps I am not seeing everything. What is 'the appearance of one symbolically whole'? Why not just 'the appearance of one whole' or 'the appearance of wholeness'? My initial guess was that you are saying that you only appear to be representing wholeness, but that doesn't seem right. I am missing the point I guess. This is how us physicists look at poetry! I normally end up thinking poems are too long. I'm not trying to criticise, because this is not the stuff that makes me grind my teeth.

I like the idea of how other peoples' lives are sort of inacessible to me except, essentially, through my imagination, even people I am close to. Also the way that distance disconnects us from each other. These are the two things that it makes me think about, which was cool. I often think about this sort of stuff if I'm sitting in a pub on my own watching people go by.

---

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35669

quote:

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Originally posted by flocat


You're on heavy drugs right now, aren't you?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: LfuckinA
Posts: 3375

Well, I should add my contributions so as to not to rape this thread. I liked it. Even though that idiot Smug is high on some sort of narcotics, he made some sense. Though, I'm no physicist. I'm used to them saying that my poetry is too weird and artsy to understand. That's of course because they have one-track minds and that track has nothing to do with bathing, hygeine or women.

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
What is 'the appearance of one symbolically whole'? Why not just 'the appearance of one whole' or 'the appearance of wholeness'? My initial guess was that you are saying that you only appear to be representing wholeness, but that doesn't seem right.

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for some reason I cannot stop laughing.....


in the wholeness of time, perhaps I will realize why.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35669

quote:

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Originally posted by flocat
That's of course because they have one-track minds and that track has nothing to do with bathing, hygeine or women.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18816

I myself have been wondering why I put "symbolically" in there. It's just one of those words.

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