Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 1

Salaam! (As we Muslims say!)

As everyone will know by now, I have had to take time off from parish duties to make several missionary tours around the world to spread the gospel of war! And what an interesting and fascinating experience it has been, to meet people of all faiths, from Father Rasputin K.G.B of the Russian Very Orthodox Church (affectionally known to his followers as 'The Butcher of Grozny') to the Rev. George Dubya Bush Jr, leader of the Church of Latter Day Morons in the USA.

But, of course, my main task of outreach, has been to our Muslim brothers and sisters, with whom we share so much! After all, are we not all the 'children of Abraham' - Christians, Jews and Muslims - all fighting together to make a better world?

And let's get one thing clear. This is not a 'crusade', as some people have foolishly tried to call it. Goodness me, no! The days are gone when we in the West would send great armies across the world to slaughter innocent Muslims. No, that was in the Middle Ages. And some of us, I'm glad to say, don't want to return to the Middle Ages, unlike Mr Bin Laden and his Muslim friends!

There's so much ignorance about Islam isn't there? Well, let me tell you that I've been re-reading the Koran lately (the Muslim Bible), and I hope that all of you will take a copy home after Evensong next Sunday and spend a few days studying it as I (and Mr.Campbell) have been doing on the way from the airport! And I can tell you, Islam is not what so many ignorant people believe! Islam is about peace, compassion, loving your neighbour, turning the other cheek, being kind to animals, equal rights for women, democracy, cricket, warm beards, old ladies cycling to the mosque in the early morning mist.

And hey, aren't these the things we all believe in? Except of course for the fanatics you find in every religion, particularly Islam! I have to say I was pretty shocked by the attitude of my Saudi hosts, when they wouldn't even let me into their country, saying that I was an 'infidel' and 'unclean' and that Mr.Campbell and I would pollute their holy places by our presence. Considering that I had taken the precaution of asking our accountant Mr.Levy to stay at home in Israel, and told Cherie (my wife) that, as a woman, it was her duty to stay at home looking after Leo for a change, I thought that we would be made welcome! In the circumstances, I can only say it was pretty un-Christian of them to refuse to see me!

But that's precisely the sort of thing I am up against in my tirless crusade to make the world a better, and safer place! All I can say is what a relief it was to address a congregation of our own British troops in Oman, where I was able to lead them in a rousing chrous of that fine old humn 'Lets kick ass'! As I told them in my sermon, quoting from the Godd Book. 'Blessed are the lasting peacemakers, for they shall have to make war first, in order to make sure that the peace is in a real sense lasting' (Book of the Apocalypse).

Yours,

Tony

Last edited by Rev.Blair on 10-17-2001 at 01:05 PM

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

:: blink blink ::

er.

I don't follow any of them thar religons of the book (christian, jew, muslim).

I'm a heathen.

who are you?

::pokes the Rev Blair with a stick::

are you a canadian?

will you show us your tits?

hm?

::watches and waits::

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 36016

He is probably a limey as this 'St. Albion Parish newsletter' is in Private Eye magazine as their skit on Tony Blair.

I liked it.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: clinging desperately to my guns and religion gonna kill me some foreigners because i remember 9/11
Posts: 22328

Limey

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: zanzibar
Posts: 10477

I didn't feel like making a new thread.

Here's Mr. Bean:

Religion as a fit subject for comedy

FROM MR ROWAN ATKINSON

Sir, I hope that I am not the only person in the creative arts who feels great disquiet about the proposals outlined by the Home Secretary in the Commons today, to introduce legislation to outlaw what has been described as “incitement to religious hatred” (reports, October 16). Having spent a substantial part of my career parodying religious figures from my own Christian background, I am aghast at the notion that it could, in effect, be made illegal to imply ridicule of a religion or to lampoon religious figures.
Supporters of the proposed legislation would presumably say that neither I, nor any of my colleagues in the comedy world, are its intended targets, but laws governing highly subjective or moral issues tend to drag a very fine net, and some of the most basic freedoms of speech and expression can get caught up in it.

I have always believed that there should be no subject about which one cannot make jokes, religion included. Clearly, one is always constricted by contemporary mores and trends because, after all, what one seeks above all is an appreciative audience. However, how would a film like Monty Python’s Life of Brian, criticised at the time of its release for being anti-Christian, be judged under the proposed law? Or that excellent joke in Not the Nine O’Clock News all those years ago, showing worshippers in a mosque simultaneously bowing to the ground with the voiceover: “And the search goes on for the Ayatollah Khomeini’s contact lens”? Not respectful, but comedy takes no prisoners. However, in period and in context it was extremely funny and I believe that it is the reaction of the audience that should decide the appropriateness of a joke, not the law of the land.

For telling a good and incisive religious joke, you should be praised. For telling a bad one, you should be ridiculed and reviled. The idea that you could be prosecuted for the telling of either is quite fantastic.

Yours faithfully,
ROWAN ATKINSON,
c/o 7 Soho Street, W1D 3DQ.
October 15.

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0...1361433,00.html

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

I know Rowan Atkinson's mum. She own a tea shop in Hexham called Mrs.Miggins. (yes any Blackadder fans will know the reference and now they will know its source too).

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7504

The complete elimination of all free speech would be a small price to pay to get Mr. Bean off the air.

Of course, we would also lose the Baby-Eating-Bishop of Bath and Wells, and that would suck.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

quote:

---

Originally posted by CHiPsJr
Of course, we would also lose the Baby-Eating-Bishop of Bath and Wells, and that would suck.

---

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7504

"You see, Black Adder, I am a colossal pervert. No form of human depravity is too low for me. Animal, vegetable, or mineral, I'll do anything to anything."

"Well, it's always nice to see the church taking a stand on social issues."

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 4855

Ok, Rev, that was a nice listing of just about every stereotypically bullshit religious propaganda I can think of. Where to begin...innocent Muslims during the Crusades? You mean, the Muslims who slaughtered all the Christians when they invaded Spain?

What? But Islam is peaceful!
Yeah, and so is Catholicism, my point being, if one religious guy kills another religious guy, that doesn't mean it was for religious reasons. Course, not having any grasp of history beyond what you were taught in Freshman Humanities or whatever you limeys call it, you wouldn't know this

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged