Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26383

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you live in a dorm that has co-ed bathrooms.

Okay, and let's also say that you haven't been able to sleep all night and at around 7 AM you finally decide to give up trying and just wake up.

So you're going to the bathroom to take a shower, and let's say that your next door neighbor is coming out of the bathroom the very moment that you are on your way in.

And let's say this next door neighbor is just one of the most gorgeous women to ever have graced the earth. Let's say you have never been able to say more than two words to her. Everytime you are in her presence you are reduced to a festering puddle of primordial goo.

So let's say that you two meet, you on your way into the bathroom to shower, her on her way out.

And your eyes lock.

And she is as beautiful as you've ever seen her. She is fully dressed, fully made-up. She looks like she is not here at 7 AM, but rather at 7 PM, just on her way out for a night of clubbing. Gorgeous.

And you are in your bathrobe and slippers, wearing boxer shorts that have little polar bears on them. You have been sweating all night and your face is still broken out from a weekend with Anthrax.

And your eyes lock.

You'd kill her, right?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

nope.

a wink and a 'Hey Gorgeous' would do it.

infact, the winkis prolly overdoing it

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Take the opportunity to give her one before the body gets cold, then.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

Are you trying to tell us that you committed murder in a subtle 'hypothetical' way?

I hope you fucked her first.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

yeah after some deliberation, the wink might be useful, you are, afterall wearing slippers.

slippers should be banned.

The only thing is, she was probably a dirty stopout and just did the Walk of Shame home.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

quote:

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Originally posted by aminal
The only thing is, she was probably a dirty stopout and just did the Walk of Shame home.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 6081

Engage her in polite conversation and be sure to slip in the fact that you spend most of your free time as an internet geek posting and chatting with other geeks on a web-site you run.

Oh, and show her this thread.

Score!

(make sure you tell her how cute I am.)

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6953

hehe
you should have just smiled.
everyone has those moments
i just dropped my kid off at school in my jammies.
heh

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Van Diemen's Land.
Posts: 3607

Did she look anything like this?


Hypothetically of course.

Attachment: adriana2.jpg
This has been downloaded 196 time(s).

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3030

Should have just smiled your most charming smile and said wow, guess mornings aren't your thing.

No killing, they frown on that in college. Trust me.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

You wear slippers in the dorm? You'll never score like that!

Tell her that your name is PaintCHiPs and she should never call you PC. You hate that.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

quote:

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Originally posted by A.D.H.D
Did she look anything like this?


Hypothetically of course.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 2532

quote:

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Originally posted by Princess_Chelle
hehe
you should have just smiled.
everyone has those moments
i just dropped my kid off at school in my jammies.
heh

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1170

i would whip it out.

think about it... she is either going to go down on you or kick you in the balls and go on her way.

it's a 50-50 shot

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

Why is it that just for a brief moment I am enjoying the image of Mr. Confident, Competent Writer Web Site Man as Mr. Anthrax Pockmarked Polar Bear Boxer Short Man?

Believe me paint, men aren't the only ones who feel like that after bumping into a truly gorgeous woman.

you need to ask her out.

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Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 501

Hmm, god damn I am lost. I thought paint and Karen were an item.....

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26383

Not anymore Kaye.

quote:

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Originally posted by Inky
Why is it that just for a brief moment I am enjoying the image of Mr. Confident, Competent Writer Web Site Man as Mr. Anthrax Pockmarked Polar Bear Boxer Short Man?

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

i'm at my best when i'm at my worst. harness the scruffy unkempt, paint. it's charisma cold fusion.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: deep in the heart of...
Posts: 515

scruffy is good.

the shy thing can be quite charming.
one thing i have learned in this whirlwind of an existence...the importance of "fuck it". don't let opportunities pass just beyond your reach as you look on longingly. risk. make a fool of yourself. what have you got to lose? (besides a layer of ego)

if only you could get past the hippie-chickness...

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location:
Posts: 1163

Hippie chickness comes from within. And is rooted 50,000 years in the past. We need more.

The fool that persists in his folly, Paint, gets laid .. er .. wise.

Be an arse.

In fact, I declare Saturday the 20th of October the Daye Of Fools. Can we put it in the calender? The day you say that which the little voice in your pineal gland is telling you to say. The day you turn left instead of right and see where it takes you. The day you reply to the lunatic on the train and try to engage him in conversation.

Babies learn to walk by falling over a lot. When they stop falling over, they get cocky.

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Registered: May 2001
Location:
Posts: 2701

quote:

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Originally posted by Spooky
Are you trying to tell us that you committed murder in a subtle 'hypothetical' way?

I hope you fucked her first.

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

quote:

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Originally posted by Paint CHiPs

Why is it that everybody seems to think I'm some brash arrogant loudmouth?

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whoah there anthrax boy, i never said that!

I just said you have a competent, confident online persona. I was paying you a compliment!

I just liked the idea of paintchips reduced to speechlessness.

Tell me, were the polar bear boxer shorts flannel?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 1353

just be thankful you didn't have morning wood. I think co-ed anything in the morning is a bad idea based on morning wood alone.

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Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Sydney, Straya mate
Posts: 346

quote:

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Originally posted by MadBomber
just be thankful you didn't have morning wood. I think co-ed anything in the morning is a bad idea based on morning wood alone.

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