Thomas G. Chance
Unconfirmed Theory
Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 37 |
List of viable options for individuals terrified of dying horrifically as a result of a terrorist attack.
Option 1: Paddle to New Zealand in a row boat. Unless the terrorists have suddenly developed a penchant for sodomizing sheep, NZ is probably the last place in the world that is a target for terrorism. You are virtually 100% guarenteed not to die by fire, explosions, or poisonous/biological agents because you'll be spending the better portion of your days herding sheep and milking cows.
Upside: Plenty of gratuitous sex
Downside: Sexual partners are mainly farm animals.
Option 2: Lock yourself in a Bomb Shelter. Hey, its not spacious, comfortable, or entertaining but at least you'll survive, right? Be sure to stock your shelter with enough food, water, and automatic weapons to weather the storm until the radiation settles from the nuclear cataclysm. Just think, after a few decades of complete isolation you can emerge from your shelter and gaze at the sunset with your madness-glazed eyes, satisfied knowing that you are the only human being to survive the apocalypse.
Upside: Lots of parking space, plenty of gratuitous sex.
Downside: Sexual partner is yourself.
On second thought, who wants to live forever?
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And once again, we play this dangerous game.
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