Registered: Jul 2000
Location: zanzibar
Posts: 10411

Tonight one of my friends and I hit the local suburban downtown for a beer. There is this group of guys that stand on the corner with several large crosses and signs that say "Jesus Saves". Usually they just stand there and hang out as the bar crowd and local punks mill around.

Tonight an older man tried to hand me a pamphlet and said "Do you want to follow Jesus?" I make it a habit not to accept pamphlets from people on the street and said "no thanks". Then he says "so you want to follow Satan?" I turned and said "What??" He yells, "There are only two sides, son!" I told him that he had no idea what I believe and walked away. For all he knows I am a church going Catholic*, but since I am not taking his pamphlet I guess that I am an agent of Satan.

D

*I am not

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

Extremists are BAD news for society. Any society. Afghanistan, Great Britain, and the US included. *nods*

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9120

not Guahquahkia

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

quote:

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Originally posted by RiZZ
not Guahquahkia

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9120

Guahquahkia is were all the Guahquahkians come from you moron

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

Uh, Okay.......

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

I'm going to hell

no really!

back in my wiley youth I was an avid church goer. I was raised methodist, but I occasionaly went on other church field trips and retreats with my friends & their church.

so this one time when I was 15, I went with my friend, her SO, and the grace breathern babtists church down to kings island, which is one of them thar parks that have roller coasters and sheeit.

had an ok time

on the ride back in the church bus, I was feeling very peopled out, so when we stoped at McDonalds I stayed in the bus to get away from everyone (and because I had no money).

one of the youth ministers came to check on me, he asked me if I was ok, & if I was hungry and if he could buy me something. I said no I was fine, I wasn't hungry, and I just needed to get away from people for a moment.

he said he understood.

then

he asked me if I was saved.

... er

this is when A BIG EVIL DEMON posessed me, for some reason, I said " Yes ".
he was all like ooo, what was it like?

er
I tried to think of every 'saved' story I could think of...

' OH you know, jesus came down and said he needed me to be with him, and bla bla bla and then I was saved yada yada yada and I was filled with the light of the lord yada yada yada etc...."

it was the biggest line of horse shit I had ever uttered in my young life.

he bought it.

said I would be very happy at his church.

I never went back.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

I'm not sad, I'm disappointed. Thought this was gonna be really funny. heh. Actually, I am REALLY disappointed that the PMG that we all know and love did not tell that Big Bad Baptist minister the truth right there and then! Would the truth go more like this?? :

Minister: Are you SAVED, dear?

PMG: Huh, Feelin' 'Squeeenchy' are ya? Are you 'hitting on me'? Cuz if you are, I'm already taken.....

*giggles*

*minister gets up, runs-not-walks off bus*

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Payne, Ohio
Posts: 2062

I really hate people that force there beliefs on others. Its not right.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

AH em I was only 15, I was young and innocent then (no really, I was. I wouldn't say any real bad fucking words or nuthin'! I once believed when I was 12 that saying HELL would take you there.... I was once a god fearin woman!)

but like I said, the demon made me say yes!

sometimes I just lie for no damn reason, not when it's important, just in situations like that.

I get posessed I tell ya!

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 2593

ANY intelligent 'non-Saved' (notice the quotes) person would do the same thing you did.

In the past, when I was asked if I was 'saved', I would answer 'Yes', simply because I thought that was the 'right' thing to say, since I am a Christian.

Now I know better, and I haven't been asked (I'm sure it's because I know NOW exactly what I would say, and how I would say it:

"I hope I am never so presumptious!", and smile. That, I am sure would get me into a very long, drawn-out conversation about the Bible, History, Fact vs Fable and OPINIONs.

Heh....

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

em rocks

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In my house :)
Posts: 373

It's ok, you won't be alone. I'll be there too....used to have sex with my high school boyfriend in the hedges at church. Does yelling Oh God alot count as praying??

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

WC, in my book.

yes

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

quote:

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Originally posted by WildChild
used to have sex with my high school boyfriend in the hedges at church. Does yelling Oh God alot count as praying??

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hahaha

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7504

Why hate the extremist?

Extremists are fun. They make life more exciting, entertaining, and interesting. Nothing is more boring than a narrow spectrum of opinions of behavioral choices.

Extremists are courageous. They know that everyone thinks they're morons. But they get out there, by God, and they do their thing anyway. It's hard to put yourself on the line. In fact, I'd go as far to say that we're ALL extremists in our own way...the difference between us and them is that they have the balls to stand up for who they are, and we don't.

And extremists are harmless. Relatively. All the lone nuts and mad bombers in history haven't done one ten-thousandth of the damage that "mainstream" ideas have. Don't fear the lone wacko over there. Fear the herd.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15123

I sold my soul for a block of cheese.

It was moldy.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10178

quote:

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Originally posted by CHiPsJr
Why hate the extremist?

Extremists are fun. They make life more exciting, entertaining, and interesting. Nothing is more boring than a narrow spectrum of opinions of behavioral choices.

Extremists are courageous. They know that everyone thinks they're morons. But they get out there, by God, and they do their thing anyway. It's hard to put yourself on the line. In fact, I'd go as far to say that we're ALL extremists in our own way...the difference between us and them is that they have the balls to stand up for who they are, and we don't.

And extremists are harmless. Relatively. All the lone nuts and mad bombers in history haven't done one ten-thousandth of the damage that "mainstream" ideas have. Don't fear the lone wacko over there. Fear the herd.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

dirty filthy devil worshiper!!!!

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7504

quote:

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Originally posted by Dingle


harmless? extremists bomb abortion clinics, shoot doctors with deer rifles, burn labs, incite riots, blow up government buildings, mail bombs, oh ya, they also fly planes into skyscrapers and mail people anthrax.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: zanzibar
Posts: 10411

I don't hate those people, I was just passing on the information that I have been judged to be an agent of Satan by someone who I assume must be officially affiliated with the big man upstairs.

It sucks, but that's how life goes. You walk down the street minding your own business and then BAM! Your big moment comes, you need to choose a side that instant. If you answer wrong, or don't get the question, or fail to realize the gravity of what lies before you, well then you will also be condemned to eternal damnation.

Although I guess this means that I am free to join Goatboy trolling for jailbait at the mall.

D

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

Nuns scare me.
As a result of trauma at an early age, I will walk across the street to avoid any contact with one.
Sadists.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: deep in the heart of...
Posts: 515

quote:

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posted by CHiPs Jr:

Fear the herd.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location:
Posts: 1163

I'm not saved, but I am backed up in several secure locations.

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