Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

WOW!!

i got back from my ex's place, and the water pressure sucked, felt like someone was peeing on your head

but took a shower at my place and it felt good

really good


hey im going for lamest post ever here!

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

You in competition with stormy?

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Dead_Inside is My Head Bitch, Welcome Touch to my stable.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 6084

Since this is a lameness thread:

I think I broke my hand today. Dropped a car battery on it. Details are irrelevent, stupidity the cause.

Two of my fingers dont move anymore.

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I'm still not as fucked up as Touch.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

this thread is so good.......
top!

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Elysian Fields, TX, USA
Posts: 2618

I dislocated my pinkey the other day during a foot ball game. I was piledrived into the ground and my hands went first, I knocked the middle knuckle right off the joint, the bone went through the skin.

I still caught the pass for a 35 yard touch down. So fuck you.

A WINNER IS ME!!!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

Top this for lameness:
I think I have such big nuts because I actually bought condoms today. I think this because I find it incredibly arrogant and possibly a jinx to buy them before you can be pretty damn sure you're gonna use em. I mean, there's nothing more depressing than old, unused condoms. But what the hell, can't hurt to have em on hand, if I get too depressed and haven't used em, I'll just make condom balloons and bat them around my room.

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 470

wow

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please dont touch me

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

Wow what? Can't top that, eh mate?

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Australia
Posts: 470

actually method dan, in feats of lameness i know no equal (except for maybe tack)

i just dont really feel like going into detail right now

good luck getting those condoms used

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please dont touch me

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Kanada.
Posts: 597

I bought condoms but never used em.

They're such a bitch to put on, so I just went sleeveless.



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I fucked baby jesus in the mouth!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

Ahh... thanks Touchy, I'll need it.

Nomad, I assume you're kidding. You'd better be. I imagine they're a pain but I think it'd be worth it to get laid.

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ...
Posts: 228

hey alcoholfiend

I went to the chat thingy but you would not respond

WHERE, I ask, IS THE LOVE?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Kanada.
Posts: 597

Don't worry MD, I still got laid.

Monogamy greatly reduces STD risk. Eliminates it in my particular case.

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What kind of short quote would represent my intelligence without seeming boorish, vulgar, senile, or pomous? Hmmm...

"Story #1
When I got of the plane the frist thing that I saw was the state flower which is the Oregon grape. I went to go & touchit, smelt it too! I had to go to the pay phone to call a taxi to pick me up at the airport. when it came Itold it to take me to the hostel the name is Portland Oregon Hojo Inn. I got my stuff out of the car & took it to my room with my roommates already there waiting for me & one other girl. She arrived when I just got in there so we droped our bags off then called another taxi so we can go & see people & what they do, also after we went to a zoo up there it was really neat. We tasted Their water it sort of weird but it was okay. The people over there spoked in english so we could understand them in what they were saying. After that we went to see the deepest lake that is called the crater lake oregon. It was very deep it looked cool too. We also saw the hightest points & territories which is the Mount Hood the elev. is 11,239. On the way gonig back to the hostel we saw Oregon's largest city. Then we had to get our goodnight sleep or we will be very tired & not be able to get up &go to other places. The next morning that's why it is important to get agood night sleep."

Certainly not that. Stolen from a source too lame to mention.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

Shit man, I'm more worried about cluttering the landscape up with more people.

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

More people rule.

But I am drunk.

That is all.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

I'll say, you must be all fucked up. Is 6 billion not enough? Don't get me started on an overpopulation rant, I'm sure everyone's already heard it before.

(Whoa, you actually changed your title to Caligula Pimpin. That's from sinfest.net, FYI.)

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Kanada.
Posts: 597

That's what the pill is for dude.

And abortions.

If I ever had a baby I would eat it.

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What kind of short quote would represent my intelligence without seeming boorish, vulgar, senile, or pomous? Hmmm...

"Story #1
When I got of the plane the frist thing that I saw was the state flower which is the Oregon grape. I went to go & touchit, smelt it too! I had to go to the pay phone to call a taxi to pick me up at the airport. when it came Itold it to take me to the hostel the name is Portland Oregon Hojo Inn. I got my stuff out of the car & took it to my room with my roommates already there waiting for me & one other girl. She arrived when I just got in there so we droped our bags off then called another taxi so we can go & see people & what they do, also after we went to a zoo up there it was really neat. We tasted Their water it sort of weird but it was okay. The people over there spoked in english so we could understand them in what they were saying. After that we went to see the deepest lake that is called the crater lake oregon. It was very deep it looked cool too. We also saw the hightest points & territories which is the Mount Hood the elev. is 11,239. On the way gonig back to the hostel we saw Oregon's largest city. Then we had to get our goodnight sleep or we will be very tired & not be able to get up &go to other places. The next morning that's why it is important to get agood night sleep."

Certainly not that. Stolen from a source too lame to mention.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: San Francisco Bay Area, CA
Posts: 458

I'd abort the little son of a bitch while it's still a clump of fertilized cells. And being a responsible gentleman, I'd pay for half the cost, at least.

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-Method Dan

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

sorry ex, i passed out drunk

my bad

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 1374

Thats what we told everyone. They didnt believe us. Bitches.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

well i thought i had go to the store and pay in dimes again

when my gracious father gave me money

so i have beer again

and it tastes wonderful

btw my toe really hurts again paint

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ...
Posts: 228

quote:

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Originally posted by AlcoholSoopaFiend:
sorry ex, i passed out drunk

my bad

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

again? damn your one demanding bastid


*unzips pants*

hurry up

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: a little to the left of the right ventricle
Posts: 331

My friend fell off a curb (ooh all of 4 1/2 inches) and dislocated his knee, then with the subsequent fall his hand got broken when hit by a passing car.
That is lame!
Better than bleeding to death from a paper cut tho'

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10164

i just had to reboot 4 times, fucking windows

*pinches joeycats butt*

*hides in underground lair*