Registered: Sep 2001
Location: northern Virginia
Posts: 794

ok.. I thought this was really cute.. yes.. CUTE. And if it has already been posted just freakin ignore it.. or read it again.. because it's cute.

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer
yer Frend,
Fredyy

Dear Freddy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll set you up
with a Barbie.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake,like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? What a 'Tard. Good luck in whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please,
PLEASE,PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting a sweater again this year, TARD!.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Dear Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the
boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

Dear Santa,

I want to meet my Prince Charming for Christmas this year.

Love Bella.




Dear Bella,

Yea right, that'll be happening soon!

Your prince Charming will come when his boyfriend finishes blowing him.

Santa.

P.S. Thanks for kicking the blanket off.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: northern Virginia
Posts: 794

silly.. see my sig..
it'll happen in 10 days..
but he does give good head..
dunno about a blowjob.. that's more my department.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

Youre getting married on the first day of winter?
Is this some ploy to get him to remember your anniversary?
I have been married 12 years and I am proud to say "I'm pretty sure I was married in the spring sometime, it was windy".

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: northern Virginia
Posts: 794

HHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
actually Dec 28 I will legally be allowed to get divorced!!!!
WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
but my Prince Charming will be in town in 10 days *stupid grin*

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