Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

It's 3:45 AM and I'm not asleep. Isn't that amazing. I have to go to work at some undetermined time today. I want to say tomorrow but that is today, and tomorrow is today tomorrow. Hey, look at that. This little scrap of paper says: "Mon 330 - 8." In 12 hours I have to work. Yay.

Have you ever had that hollow and empty feeling? It isn't a very nice feeling, is it? You know, that one where you feel like you have no purpose or use in life? I have no direction. I feel like one of those little toy boats that has been manned by a mouse in the hopes that the mouse will eventually land at some unknown port. I wish I knew what port I was landing at -- it would make party favor buying so much easier.

They say that love is blind, but I don't think that you're blind. I wish more people would at the very least narrow their eyes. It's amazing what a wonderful person someone can be if you would just ignore the rough exterior. But nobody will narrow their eyes, and so this man wanders on in a land of people with perfect vision, perfect bodies, perfect personalities, and other perfections. It really makes me sick sometimes how much people only look for perfection and aren't willing to dig for a diamond in the rough. There just might be something very beautiful under all that ugly exterior. That's what I keep telling myself so that I don't get too depressed.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Where was I? I don't remember. I think I was going off on some vague tangent about how I wish more monkeys would be used in gay sex testing. It isn't fair that all those poor altar boys have to sacrifice their anal virginity because Father Flannighan can't get any from his wife while anyone else on the block can. From behind distant lines, which is fine, which is fine, and describes how you're feeling all the timme.

A funny thing just occured to me: I'm just a guy made of dots and lines. Yeah. I'm just a constellation obscured by the city lights. Yeah. I'm just being blurred out by fog and steam boats and shit. That's the ticket.

DON'T TEAR OPEN MY UNICORN HEART!!!

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Lat: 43° 42' 0 N, Long: 79° 34' 0 W
Posts: 2820

Oh yeah?

Well, it's 6am here. I just found out my bits are missing a holey part. I guess it fell out? And the damned hole healed over. This is quite an irritant, as I will be forced to shell money out to get it put back. On the other hand, I might give the "let us shove cold metal through various parts of our bodies" thing a rest.

Later today will be more productive as I must complete two essays, both about four pages long. Bleed for me, angels.

I've also got to get my application in for co-op housing next year. I've had it sitting in my room, all filled out for ages. I am entirely too half-assed lately. I think it's that I don't feel comfortable with where I'm going in life. We all question and doubt the paths we've chosen, but lately I am sincerely wondering what I intend to do once I finish my schooling. I will probably end up a corporate whore, and I think that's a reasonable finale to reach, although not particularly exciting or rewarding.

I have got to clean my room as well. I've got at least six loads of laundry waiting for me. It's also going to be mom's birthday soon, so I guess I should send her something or another by mail. I'm sure she'll be thrilled.

I need to find time to write again. I miss writing a lot, and used to do it frequently during times like these, when I doubt the validity of my lifestyle. I bought a book from a store downtown, with thick handmade pages, and green paper cover with a small bunch of paper roses on a piece of burlap. I made it sound as ugly as sin, but in actual fact, it's very cute, and something about it felt homey to me. I am hoping that once I write a piece I'm not entirely ashamed of, I will be willing to enter it into this book of mine. What do we do with these volumes of thoughts spewed across pages? I occasionally flip through old poetry/writing books. I like to see what I was thinking. I suppose one day I will let my kids have them, so that they can see what I was like, without getting into diary-details.

I bought a bunch of stickers today. It was a bit of an impulse buy, but it was under $25 CDN, so it's not as though it will make or break me. Most of them are going to be going to other people as gifts... or at least garnishes to their gifts. The collection I will be sent is quite esoteric, if I do say so myself.

So, that's life in a nutshell, I guess... or some random 6am thoughts. Now, my dearlings, it is time to hit the hay.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

I don't remember posting this.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 6081

quote:

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Originally posted by SocialParasite
I don't remember posting this.

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Registered: May 2001
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1037

I stole ze password.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

quote:

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Originally posted by SocialParasite
I don't remember posting this.

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Registered: May 2001
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1037

quote:

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Originally posted by SocialParasite
Things look funny when they're dressed in black. Don't tell the government that, though. Unless you want John Ashcroft breathing down your neck and calling you a rag-headed Commie. Sometimes he scares me. He looks like the Cancer Man on The X-Files. I don't trust either of them, although the Cancer Man does have a better personality.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

quote:

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Originally posted by Skeet


The episode "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man" makes him look a bit more human.

I'm such a fucking geek for remembering that.

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