I'll never marry a Ugandan woman

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billgerat
The Harvester of Eyes

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 12544

I'll never marry a Ugandan woman

Woman Bites Off Husband's Genitals
Wed Mar 20, 9:45 AM ET

KAMPALA (Reuters) - A Ugandan woman bit off her husband's penis and testicles during an argument, police said on Wednesday.

The woman, Annet Minduru, 30, was in police custody in the capital Kampala and might be charged with causing grievous bodily harm, said the officer in charge of the station, Vigilius Okuni.

The independent Monitor newspaper said Minduru had bitten off John Ndekeezi's penis and testicles Sunday night after her 45-year-old husband slapped her.

"Because I was so drunk she overpowered me and by the time my neighbor came to my rescue, she had bitten off both my testicles and the penis," Ndekeezi told the paper.

Minduru's account of events was not immediately available.

The attack came only days after a man died in central Uganda after his wife, angered by his inability to provide for her and his two children, cut off his testicles.

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03-22-2002 03:15 AM

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SocialParasite
100% pure failtanium.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

I believe it has been done.

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03-22-2002 03:17 AM

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GoFuckYourselves!
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Registered: Oct 2000
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Posts: 12164

I think I'm gonna start sleeping with my privates locked away securely in a safe!!

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03-22-2002 04:41 AM

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The Buried Life
lurks.

Registered: Mar 2002
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Not even if it's a Blind Lesbian of Uganda?

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03-22-2002 04:59 AM

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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

Hey Wild Bill! After reading the following, I'll betcha don't wanna marry a gal from Freehold, Iowa, either, eh?

Pastor's Rousing Sermon Results in Town Full of Eunuchs
Self-castration Epidemic Hits Freehold, Iowa

Moments after removing his testicles with a fish knife, Bobby Traylor and his wife Iona shoot 20 bullets to announce to the the Lord that Bobby is ready for Glory

(FREEHOLD) Last Sunday, 1,087 men returned home from Landover Baptist Church's nine o'clock service and, using various crude mechanisms, hacked off both of their testicles. "Billy Ray was in a funk after service and went out to his tool shed for a while," recalled Mrs. Suzzanna Beth Simpkins. "I was in the kitchen when I heard him screaming something awful. When I finished putting sprinkles on the cupcakes I was making, I went out to the shed. Lord have mercy! He had used a pair of pliers to pull off his balls!"

The spontaneous outburst of self-castration appears to have been at the behest of the Holy Ghost, Who had apparently been listening to Honorary Pastor Harry Hardwick's rousing sermon that morning. Pastor Hardwick had spoken of the need for men to taint neither their souls nor bodies with frail, conniving women during these precious final days before the Lord Jesus returns to destroy, judge and kill. During the sermon, Pastor Hardwick reminded the men gathered that according to Revelation the ones who had a best shot at heaven were those who had not even allowed a sinful woman to touch their privates. (Revelation 14:3-4). In lieu of such godly willpower, Jesus taught that men should become eunuchs for the Lord by removing their testicles. (Matthew 19:10-12).

Upon hearing that roughly one-tenth of the town's men were suddenly without testicles, Judy O'Christian immediately went into action. Mrs. O'Christian, famed in fourteen counties for being able to preserve everything from pickles to prunes, quickly drafted the help of the Ladies of Landover Auxiliary to carefully place matching sets of testicles in mason jars with formaldehyde.

Reprinted from hallelujah!

Oh. And Amen.

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03-22-2002 05:26 AM