Registered: Not Yet
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Okay. People in serious commited relationships. Since you've been with your significant other how many other outside people have you been in lust/love/crush with? Be honest. List time in your relationship with your reply!

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 4691

I swear I saw this exact same topic at SPF a year ago. Maybe it's just deja-vu.

When I was last in a committed relationship (well...I was committed) I couldn't even look at other girls in "that way." They just weren't "good enough" compared to mine. I could look at them and say "Yah, she's pretty and all" but it was the same way as in saying "That's a pretty car." Appreciation of aesthetic quality, but no real interest.

And it's been that way ever since. Except now it's not because I've got something to go back on, it's just that I haven't been attracted to anyone since then :\

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19114

Yeah, I'm with Squee on this one.
I don't have any desires for anyone else.

But... Just because I am on a diet, doesn't mean I can't read the menu,

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: seattle-ish
Posts: 11408

In my first marraige(lasted exactly one year before I filed for divorce), I stopped giving a fuck about him 6 months into it. During the 6 months I *did* give a fuck about him, I didnt even *look* at other men.
In the latter half, I started hanging out with my ex-boyfriend(who I was with on and off throughout high school)... who eventually became my second husband and my son's father. Until he started drinking heavily and becoming abusive, I again, did not even look other men. I had male friends, but no desire for any of them.
'
With me, as long as the relationship is strong and he treats me well, I dont/wont/cant feel anything for anyone else. Not even a passing "hey, that guy's hot" will go through my head. It's as if other men dont exist.
Of course, if Im not happy with them anymore, Im more likely to break it off right then(unless extenuating circumstances prevent me from doing so).

Ive never really understood how anyone can feeling even a passing lust for anyone else, if theyre happy in their relationship.
But thats just me.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: East Texas
Posts: 355

Ok, I spent 6 years with mine.
Did I look at other women? .....hell yes
Did I lust for them? .....not really, cause at the end of the day only one was there to hold me. That made her much more attractive than them.
Did I love anyone else?.....absolutely not.
A humongous portion of this thing we call love is the focus of your physical and emotional attention.
Now, that doesn't mean that you can't care about someone else on a personal level, but it DOES mean that you cannot focus on that new person and still attend to your spouse/love.
Pure and simple, its called attention because thats what it is.
If you constantly give your attention to someone or something else you will loose that other person.

But be careful...cause sometimes while you are focusing on someone, you can't see that they are NOT focusing on you.

Just relax and enjoy the love you have for as long as you have it.

If you screw it up...its your own damned fault.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

ive been with my husband for almost ten years

i fall in lust daily

falling in love is a fallacy

and i "love" everyone.
so there

p.s. i havent been with any other men since i started fooling around with my husband.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: WDM, IA
Posts: 2963

Of course not, he keeps you on a tight leash.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6969

quote:

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Originally posted by The Wraith
Of course not, he keeps you on a tight leash.

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sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

erm.. well.. I never loved my husband.. but while we were together I never even looked at other guys.. and actually had no desire to.. actually sex didn't interest me in the least.. except erm.. in a masochistic way..
yeah.. umm.. he kinda fucked me up..
oh.. but within days after kicking him out I was back to unconsciously drooling over passing strangers.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: East Texas
Posts: 355

Sabine
a missing piece

Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Posts: 69



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Humor: 1


posts = 69

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location:
Posts: 822

quote:

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Originally posted by theMAC
Sabine
a missing piece

Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Posts: 69



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Humor: 1


posts = 69

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Registered: Not Yet
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I was at a party once where one of the girl's kept complaining that there were no good men out there. She had just gotten a divorce from her husband because they were too good of friends. Is it just me... or did she defeat her own purpose?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15130

People are stupid.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18808

I don't know?

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The pinnacle of Failbot technology.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Lat: 43° 42' 0 N, Long: 79° 34' 0 W
Posts: 2820

I think I'm with wonderaz on this one. I've never been married, but knowing me, I would *look* at other people, I wouldn't want to do a damned thing about it though. Hopefully time will tell

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Registered: Dec 2001
Location:
Posts: 275

Wow. I must be a bad person.

In all the "long term" relationships I've had, the current one being almost 11 years, I have on occasion looked, lusted, and reeeaally wanted to touch other women.

I still love my wife. But I enjoy the wonderous variety of the opposite sex also.


So as to how many people I've lusted for ?
Not counting people I haven't actually met, at least a dozen.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

quote:

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Originally posted by crazy_wacky
Im down in the dirty dirty baby, filthy as fuck with it...high roads another time maybe. - euphorbia

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LOL, I like it..I like it a lot.

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Registered: Dec 2001
Location:
Posts: 275

*Whew*

That's good.

After I read the thread that was posted in I would hate to have you mad at me.

'specially considerin' your one of the dozen

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Hell.
Posts: 683

I look. Sometime lust, but thankfully I've got better blood flow to my brain than my dick. I have no problem keeping it in my pants.

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Thank you crazy_wacky. Glad to see I'm not alone.

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Registered: Dec 2001
Location:
Posts: 275

quote:

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Originally posted by toocrazycosmo
Thank you crazy_wacky. Glad to see I'm not alone.

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Registered: Not Yet
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I'll look you up when I get single...only two more years.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

I’ve been thinking a lot on this topic as of late. Not because I am forced to but rather as a proactive measure, securing the well-being of those I care about.
From when I was younger, and up to not too long ago I was very jealous and possessive. Little things would piss me off, splat got some of it. I also considered stuff like cybering and a relationship killer, might has well have been really fucking as far as I was concerned.
I reflect on all that and realize how much I’ve changed since then.
I understand the reasons we as a society decided marriage was important, a man staying loyal to the woman who bears his children was important, the value of picking a mate to share your life with, to be dedicated to. I understand all that and I understand there are elements of science to contend with as well; especially regarding men.
Now, I love my husband. He is a magnificent man, a fantastic lover, and beautiful father and very dear to me but I don’t feel the need to control him anymore. I don’t want him to ever resent the children and me or feel trapped because of our presence in his life. I offered him the ability to pursue certain freedoms not usually allowed in marriage.
There are some things I still haven’t worked out but its ok because he expressed no interest as of yet, but its open for discussion for the future. sex is a physical act which can have complicated repercussions so caution is needed, marriage is a life long commitment and I am determined for my loved ones and myself to enjoy life so certain freedoms are needed. I dont want my marriage to be a source of resentment, unhappiness or make life un-enjoyable.
I dont want to lose my family because some ones gets an urge that builds and builds until it explodes in a storm of anger and resentment. Life should be fun, and I am determined to enjoy mine and hope those around me can enjoy theirs.

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