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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26796
The 10 Worst Transformers Ever

http://www.ugo.com/channels/freesty...sttransformers/

I was never really into transformers (any more than your average 80s kid anyway), so I have no idea why I find this so fucking amusing. It's a good read. Part of it is funny just because the writer is funny, part of it is funny because he takes the subject matter so fucking seriously. He compared his #1 choice to the Holocaust.

Anyway, go read.

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Old Post 05-03-2002 11:07 PM
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Thimbles worth of opinion
Symetrically challenged

Registered: Aug 2000
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I hate wheelie.
Wonderaz is Kup of the Asylobots Universe.

And Robert Stack as Ultra Magnus in the movie was geeky. "Tonight un unsolved mysteries. Prime picked the least charesmatic autobot to lead after his demise. Why."

I'll tell you why you hunk of autojerk! To hasten the darkest hour. That's the only reason I can see.
I actually cried when prime turned grey. I still get a little tear. Good fucking movie.

Oh and devasator sucked. You spend two hundred dollars buying 3 copies of all six constructicons so you can salvage the broken and missing pieces from the three sets to form one good set, you form devastator, and his legs don't move. His arms fall off. His torso collapses. It's really hard to pretend that he's the badest decepitcon in the autouniverse when you have to play with him gingerly.
But nothing sucked more than the lame season of Transformers after the movie. Rodimus was a slack ass jerk. Galvatron was a Nutso cross between tyson and Hussien. No continuity, cartooning was full of sloppiness (which was worse than the first season, that says alot.) It was like Marvel just stioped caring after the movie. The spirit passed on, just like orson welles.

Predaking ruled though.

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Old Post 05-03-2002 11:33 PM
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pj
Captain America

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 4423

Omega Supreme was great!!!!

but you are right about they seriousness this guys takes in his writing.

but then again, its transformers.
so its allowed.
transformers rule!!!!!!

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Whatever.

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Old Post 05-03-2002 11:49 PM
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splAt
Usually Courteous

Registered: Jul 2000
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Why is there a gobot on the list?

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Old Post 05-03-2002 11:51 PM
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Thimbles worth of opinion
Symetrically challenged

Registered: Aug 2000
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Cause they sucked.
(Though I used to pretend they were autobots and in that context the toys themselves weren't so bad.)
Plus they had no cool guns. They shot LAZERS from their fists. Leader 1 was a fighter jet and what did he shoot? A LAZER from his jet nose. Not a lazer projector. Just a beam of light from the shnoz.
I think the major difference between the two was that Transformers used energon to power weapons and gobots used magic powers.
Enemy Gobot: "Fear my white bunny!" *Whizz bang bang*
Good Gobot: "Ahh it's shooting shit from it's paws!"

Another very valid reason for includeing gobots? Two words: Rock Lords.

What a sucky suck suck franchise.
Good Gobot: "Ah! The rock is shooting shit from it's... rock! Ahhh!"

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Old Post 05-04-2002 12:05 AM
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buddha's penis
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Registered: Apr 2001
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x-entertainment is often very funny. i don't understand his pokemon thing, though. how can one who loves the cool 80's toy serieses so much like pokemon?

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Old Post 05-04-2002 02:07 AM
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geaeslore
fallen mathlete

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2451

Wow, this guys thought all the kewl transformers were shitty, I'm almost surprised he didn't put rodamus on the list.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 02:32 AM
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Mordecai
X-Ray Cat

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 23030

Fuck rodimus, no one, but no one, held a candle to optimus.

-m

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Old Post 05-04-2002 02:50 AM
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Ryoko!
heathen?

Registered: May 2002
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optimus prime baby! whatever happened to beast wars? I was loving that...

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Old Post 05-04-2002 02:53 AM
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DevilMoon
passive stalker?

Registered: Jul 2000
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I think I owned about half of those.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 03:21 AM
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Postmodgirl
quivering arshle

Registered: Aug 2000
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I lost interest in the show after the movie... just wasn't as good after optimus died.

but damn that list was funny

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Old Post 05-04-2002 03:58 AM
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buddha's penis
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quote:
Originally posted by Ryoko!
optimus prime baby! whatever happened to beast wars? I was loving that...


it ended. they went back to cybertron and the show turned into "beast machines", which wasn't at all as good. beast wars kicked ass.
the new japanese transformers series is terrible, though. they changed "bruticus" to "ruination". bruticus is such a cool name.

i=nerd!

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Old Post 05-04-2002 04:32 AM
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geaeslore
fallen mathlete

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2451

Beats wars sucked, as do all the new transformers shows, it's like that new re-make of X-men. Somoe thought that because it worked 15 years agor it could work again, but all the new stuff they put in to make it better fucks it up.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 04:34 AM
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buddha's penis
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i would have to disagree. the story in beast wars was actually pretty good, where the old transformers just gets by on nostalgia (movie not included). the show itself was the same thing every time. like g.i. joe. bad guys make a plan, good guys overcome adversity and start shooting, at which point bad guys retreat.
i'm only sitcking up for beast wars because of the episode where dinobot dies. it was great. GREAT. the old show had nothing like that.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 04:39 AM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Deadmonton
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there was no greater transformer then

UNICRON!!!!!!!







I remeber seeing the movie as a kid and uttering the words "dude that is so cooool" when he turned from the planet into the gaint robot!!!

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Old Post 05-04-2002 04:53 AM
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geaeslore
fallen mathlete

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true that

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Old Post 05-04-2002 05:04 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:
Originally posted by geaeslore
Beats wars sucked...


Dude, I don't remember anything about the original Transformers series (never watched the show, just had a few of the toys, Thimble is a complete dork), but Beast Wars fucking rawked!

When I was at Drake and doing way too many drugs, I used to watch it daily. Me and my ghetto roommate would every day tune in at 3:30 (right after Mister Roger's Neighborhood, RIP) and watch it while howling things at the TV. That was so much fun.

That show fucking rocked. Rhinobot oWnZ Joo AlL!

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:36 AM
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yMQ
slow, takin it easy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 1376

So, anyway, the new comic series that ties all the TF storylines together started off pretty nice....

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:41 AM
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CRSR
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quote:
Originally posted by Paint CHiPs

That show fucking rocked. Rhinobot oWnZ Joo AlL!



do you mean RhinoX?

he's one bad mofo, with fucking big ass guns G!

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:51 AM
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yMQ
slow, takin it easy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 1376

Rhinox was a ripoff of a character in one of gene roddenberrys attempts at comicdom. I forget both the name of the character and the name of the comic but, goddammit, i can remember the cover very clearly!!


Of course, he was also my favorite of the beast wars/machines series.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:52 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
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Posts: 26796

quote:
Originally posted by CRSR


do you mean RhinoX?

he's one bad mofo, with fucking big ass guns G!



Yeah, whatever.

He was the shit.

Inferno owns too.

I should do a list of sucky Beasts. Waspinator, Cheetor, Silverbolt, etc.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:57 AM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

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what was cool was how in machines his (rhinox) spark went into TankOr.

Tank0r ruled! he single handedly played Megatron and Omptimus like pawns....

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Old Post 05-04-2002 06:59 AM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Deadmonton
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Inferno Icon for j0 paint...


get you transformer icon here!

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Old Post 05-04-2002 07:08 AM
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buddha's penis
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Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:
Originally posted by Paint CHiPs

When I was at Drake and doing way too many drugs, I used to watch it daily.



oh, yeah. that too.
i was on the ends of a night of lsd when dinobot died, but that doesn't mean it wasn't the single coolest (tv) cartoon moment ever.
his computer was warning him that he didn't have the energy, but he just kept on going. i'm going to be like dinobot.

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Old Post 05-04-2002 08:11 AM
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The Wraith
Sergeant of Marines

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: WDM, IA
Posts: 2963

When I was a boy I owned...

REFLECTOR


SKYFIRE


SEASPRAY

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