I was never really into transformers (any more than your average 80s kid anyway), so I have no idea why I find this so fucking amusing. It's a good read. Part of it is funny just because the writer is funny, part of it is funny because he takes the subject matter so fucking seriously. He compared his #1 choice to the Holocaust.
I hate wheelie.
Wonderaz is Kup of the Asylobots Universe.
And Robert Stack as Ultra Magnus in the movie was geeky. "Tonight un unsolved mysteries. Prime picked the least charesmatic autobot to lead after his demise. Why."
I'll tell you why you hunk of autojerk! To hasten the darkest hour. That's the only reason I can see.
I actually cried when prime turned grey. I still get a little tear. Good fucking movie.
Oh and devasator sucked. You spend two hundred dollars buying 3 copies of all six constructicons so you can salvage the broken and missing pieces from the three sets to form one good set, you form devastator, and his legs don't move. His arms fall off. His torso collapses. It's really hard to pretend that he's the badest decepitcon in the autouniverse when you have to play with him gingerly.
But nothing sucked more than the lame season of Transformers after the movie. Rodimus was a slack ass jerk. Galvatron was a Nutso cross between tyson and Hussien. No continuity, cartooning was full of sloppiness (which was worse than the first season, that says alot.) It was like Marvel just stioped caring after the movie. The spirit passed on, just like orson welles.
Cause they sucked.
(Though I used to pretend they were autobots and in that context the toys themselves weren't so bad.)
Plus they had no cool guns. They shot LAZERS from their fists. Leader 1 was a fighter jet and what did he shoot? A LAZER from his jet nose. Not a lazer projector. Just a beam of light from the shnoz.
I think the major difference between the two was that Transformers used energon to power weapons and gobots used magic powers.
Enemy Gobot: "Fear my white bunny!" *Whizz bang bang*
Good Gobot: "Ahh it's shooting shit from it's paws!"
Another very valid reason for includeing gobots? Two words: Rock Lords.
What a sucky suck suck franchise.
Good Gobot: "Ah! The rock is shooting shit from it's... rock! Ahhh!"
quote:Originally posted by Ryoko! optimus prime baby! whatever happened to beast wars? I was loving that...
it ended. they went back to cybertron and the show turned into "beast machines", which wasn't at all as good. beast wars kicked ass.
the new japanese transformers series is terrible, though. they changed "bruticus" to "ruination". bruticus is such a cool name.
Beats wars sucked, as do all the new transformers shows, it's like that new re-make of X-men. Somoe thought that because it worked 15 years agor it could work again, but all the new stuff they put in to make it better fucks it up.
i would have to disagree. the story in beast wars was actually pretty good, where the old transformers just gets by on nostalgia (movie not included). the show itself was the same thing every time. like g.i. joe. bad guys make a plan, good guys overcome adversity and start shooting, at which point bad guys retreat.
i'm only sitcking up for beast wars because of the episode where dinobot dies. it was great. GREAT. the old show had nothing like that.
quote:Originally posted by geaeslore Beats wars sucked...
Dude, I don't remember anything about the original Transformers series (never watched the show, just had a few of the toys, Thimble is a complete dork), but Beast Wars fucking rawked!
When I was at Drake and doing way too many drugs, I used to watch it daily. Me and my ghetto roommate would every day tune in at 3:30 (right after Mister Roger's Neighborhood, RIP) and watch it while howling things at the TV. That was so much fun.
Rhinox was a ripoff of a character in one of gene roddenberrys attempts at comicdom. I forget both the name of the character and the name of the comic but, goddammit, i can remember the cover very clearly!!
Of course, he was also my favorite of the beast wars/machines series.
quote:Originally posted by Paint CHiPs
When I was at Drake and doing way too many drugs, I used to watch it daily.
oh, yeah. that too.
i was on the ends of a night of lsd when dinobot died, but that doesn't mean it wasn't the single coolest (tv) cartoon moment ever.
his computer was warning him that he didn't have the energy, but he just kept on going. i'm going to be like dinobot.