Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

Little Al has a school play tonight. It is about the planets.
She picked her planet which was (I'm so, so proud of her) Uranus. She said, "I just knew you would want that one, Dad."
She asked me to help her with her costume and I first came up with a grand plan involving moons rotating around her head, 4 rings suspended by wires on a shoulder harness and on and on but noooo she wouldn't do that.
So then I came up with an even better plan. A greenish blue T shirt... with the belly part pulled into a ring on the inside of the shirt (get the visual here?). Unfortunately, she figured out what I was trying to create and adamately refused to do that. I offered her 300 bucks but she refused, claiming her desire to finish the school year without any suspensions or expulsions on her record.

I was crushed. Was this really my loinfruit?

I decided to get back at her for spoiling the play for me and went down to the store and bought some heavy duty food coloring.
I offered to dye her face and arms to match the shirt she had and she thought that would be perfect.
She was awesome. Her face was a beautiful blueish-green mottle and matched the shirt perfectly.

I could not stop laughing as I applied the dye to her face.
"Dad, this isn't that funny."
"I'm laughing about something that happened at work today."
"Dad.... you don't work."
"Ahhhh finished."
"Ummm. Dad.... I get it."
"What?"
"This doesn't come off, does it?"
"No, my child, it does not."
"Awwwww.... Gaaawd! You are such a freak. Can you put on more green then?"
"Sure!!! Why?"
"If it isn't coming off, I don't want to look like a smurf."
"Don't worry, most of it will come off. You will have a green tinge for a while, that's all."
"You are so going to pay for this, Dad, you are."

It amazes me how well she takes shit like this. I should tell the story of the time I faked her dog's death. She was superb.

She did well in the play.
Lots of compliments on her costume too.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 1374

This is amusing. Why hasnt anyone read this yet?! This is quality here!

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: I don't fukn' know!
Posts: 5137

HAHAHAHAHA!

I am so glad you are my internet dad

::takes notes::

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

how old is she? when can i marry into your family?
i figure the woman i marry will have to be able to take a joke.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9120

hehe that is good

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

You lock your bedroom door at night, yes?

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4689

god.. you are great wonder..
on a side note.. what did big Al do to you afterwards for this?

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

He neglected to mention how he woke up this morning with a shiny new blue "tool" on his person.
It seems Little AL employed Big Al's help in the retribution.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 2532

That's great wonder!

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

quote:

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Originally posted by BnB
He neglected to mention how he woke up this morning with a shiny new blue "tool" on his person.
It seems Little AL employed Big Al's help in the retribution.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

quote:

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Originally posted by Dog Breath


He could claim to be part Eskimo at the gym.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

She just got up for school.
First words
"Can I color my hair?"
"No, you would look like a freak."
"Ummmm.... I'm GREEEEEN!!!!!!! Heeeellooo??"

Big Al has said little about this but she has huddled with Little Al so I would imagine something will come of all this. I don't expect retibuti0on anytime soon though. They don't work like that.

She is 11, BP. Forget it.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: WDM, IA
Posts: 2963

"So then I came up with an even better plan. A greenish blue T shirt... with the belly part pulled into a ring on the inside of the shirt (get the visual here?). "

- Actually...no. I can't. Seriously...draw a picture?

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

OK, I drew a picture. Now what?

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

Scan it and post it.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Don't make wonder draw pictures, he needs to concentrate his art time on his bread and butter work of creating ugly ceramic fish for the discerning artlovers of Tyler, TX.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

Scan and post request retracted.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

I have no idea where my scanner even is. I have one but it has never been hooked up.

here...

*

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

quote:

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Originally posted by wonderaz


*

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

A starfish, how cute, now it all makes sense.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NYC
Posts: 3598

*giggles maniacally*
How old is she, wonder?

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

Tyler, TX? What is the friggin Tyler connection with this board?

I have ridden in a playday in Linden with a friend from Van. That is my Tyler connection.

I can't believe you faked her dog's death. That is so bad.

And I thought 11 was the age of consent in Tyler.

And since when does Uranus have rings? Wait, don't answer that.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

hahahaha

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

quote:

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Originally posted by Mugtoe
Tyler, TX? What is the friggin Tyler connection with this board?

I have ridden in a playday in Linden with a friend from Van. That is my Tyler connection.

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