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J E B Stuart
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Strange foods . . . .

From here
Food Fight Leads To Charges Against Student

An Edmond high school student is facing charges after a teacher said a food fight turned into an attack at school.

A teacher at Edmond Memorial High School said students started throwing balloons into the commons area filled with raccoon urine, which can be purchased at sporting goods stores.

One student slipped and fell, and when he got up, the teacher said she told him to stop. That's when, according to the teacher, he struck her in the shoulder and shoved her out of the way.

The school punished the student, but the teacher filed assault and battery charges.

Raccoon pee = food?

Sometimes it ain't easy bein' from Oklahoma. That's all I gots t'say 'bout dat.

Amen.

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05-21-2002 08:30 PM

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Sigmund Freud
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He was probably trying to get away from the piss.

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05-21-2002 08:34 PM

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buddha's penis
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why can raccoon urine be purchased in sporting goods stores?

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05-21-2002 09:12 PM

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Sigmund Freud
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quote:
Originally posted by Buddha's Penis!
why can raccoon urine be purchased in sporting goods stores?

Because the grocery stores won't carry it in the 2 liter bottle.

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05-21-2002 09:16 PM

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sonny
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Raccoon piss in a sporting goods store. Might as well put in in beer cans. The rednecks out hunting may need it to sober up.

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05-21-2002 09:27 PM

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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by Buddha's Penis!
why can raccoon urine be purchased in sporting goods stores?

Hey Booda Peder! By "sporting goods", they're not talkin' 'bout tennis rackets, joggin' shoes 'n' the like. Hunters use it to conceal their human scent. I think.

Where's CAL whenya need him? CAL? CAAAAL?

Amen.

p.s. For yer wild animal pee needs, click here.

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05-21-2002 09:35 PM

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sonny
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You are correct.

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05-21-2002 09:39 PM

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Lu
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racoons are so fashionable right now.... their penii bones are great to wear as necklaces. it is all the rage in dallas.

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05-21-2002 09:51 PM

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buddha's penis
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quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart

Hey Booda Peder! By "sporting goods", they're not talkin' 'bout tennis rackets, joggin' shoes 'n' the like. Hunters use it to conceal their human scent. I think.

makes sense, but can't they think of something other than animal excretions? some sort of artifical stuff maybe?

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05-21-2002 09:51 PM

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squee
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Why bother engineering an artificial scent when feeding a racoon a 40 and sitting him in a pan will do the job just as well?

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sonny
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I would like to see the "factory" where they collect that shit, I mean piss.

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05-21-2002 09:59 PM

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buddha's penis
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you're right. but sadly, i think my aversion to soaking myself with urine will keep me from my full hunting potential. instead, can i eat leaves and grubs and piss on myself? simulated raccoon urine?

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05-21-2002 10:02 PM

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buddha's penis
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quote:
Originally posted by sonny
I would like to see the "factory" where they collect that shit, I mean piss.

raccoons with their genitals hooked to milking machines.

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05-21-2002 10:04 PM

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sonny
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That's what I was afraid of. They can be mean little bastards also.

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05-21-2002 10:07 PM

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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by sonny
That's what I was afraid of. They can be mean little bastards also.

Yes, it seems raccoon pee is a far more sinister menace than I ever suspected:

"A tech for Texas Instruments notebooks received a call from a man who lived deep in the country. The man was working on the notebook in his cabin before going to bed. He left the notebook on his kitchen table turned on. The notebook went into power-save mode after a few minutes. A raccoon crawled into an open window and stepped on a key on the notebook. The notebook came to life, lit up the screen and began to make the usual computer noises. This scared the raccoon, who urinated on the machine. The man woke up to find that both his notebook and the raccoon were dead. He was calling tech support to see if this sort of action would be covered under warranty. The tech had to put the customer on hold because he was laughing so hard. When he regained his composure, he got back on the phone and told the customer that this would not be covered under warranty, however, he would said he would not log the call and referred the customer to customer service so he could tell the customer service rep that he was going to sue because TI killed his pet raccoon." Raccoon pee.

Amen.

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05-21-2002 10:41 PM

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Dog Breath
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http://www.murrayslures.com/predurn.htm

A virtual buffet!

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GoFuckYourselves!
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This is GFY's pet raccoon, Rocky, typing this. I pee'd on GFY's computer and it came to life and the Asylumn popped up and I just wanted to shout out "GoPeeYourselves!" to everyone.

Our urine is getting a real bad rap here, and I don't think it's right. I mean, GFY's urine ain't no bargain either!

Amen and Selah!

Rocky

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Dog Breath
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At $25 per gallon it is about the same price as interior gloss latex paint! It's a bargain!

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05-21-2002 10:56 PM

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sonny
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Must be some rich raccoons running around with something strapped to their dicks.

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05-21-2002 11:00 PM

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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by Lu
racoons are so fashionable right now.... their penii bones are great to wear as necklaces. it is all the rage in dallas.

Actually, the raccoon penis bone is called a coondick. People around here have used 'em fer years as a reusable toothpick.

Amen.

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05-21-2002 11:34 PM

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