Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9788

please, get out of my way

If I was Prime Minister my first act would be to push through Government legislation allowing for special armed forces with a shoot-to-kill policy to put a bullet in the head of anyone who slow-walks on a train platform.

Tourists get two bullets.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Slow walking is one of the most annoying actions in crowded areas.

I think that torturing to death, then hanging from a gibbet at the scene of the crime, is the best thing.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 6081

I love the pedestrians here who walk up to a "Do Not Walk" signal, press the button and then cross against the signal anyway. Every car then must wait for the "Walk" signal to end before they can proceed.

I fantasize about running them down.

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Oakland-ish
Posts: 6032

slow walking pairs are the worse, there is just no way you can pass them, and they are oblivious to your tailgaiting.

but i've noticed an odd thing, even the single slow walkers are hard to pass, they seem to sense which way you are going to go and they move with you.

psychic and slow.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Walking right behind them producing vile sounding hacking coughs and swearing to yourself normally speeds them up or gets them out of the way.

This tactic is also good for guarding the spare seat next to you on a bus or train.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9788

i think today is 'National Lets-Piss-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Nick Day'.

i promised myself not to anger up the blood, but all the snails were out in force today.

its like they're taking their dog for a walk in hyde park or something.

it didnt help either when i held the door open for 3 people when i was walking out of a shop. not a single thank you. bastards.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7126

don't you people know how to say "excuse me"?

geez. when i'm in the mall and it's abnormally crowded, i just say "excuse me", and people let me pass.

most of the time people don't realize that you're behind them, or if they do, they don't realize that you want to move faster than them.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9788

there was a woman on the escalator at Earls Court Station. At one point I was screaming at her to move out of the way because she was holding up around 50 people. The bloke behind me was laughing. I suppose it was quite funny.

some people dont react to a 'excuse me'. they skip along in their own little fantasy world and dont move the fuck out of the way. i dont like having to barge past people - but when the blood angers up.......

Last edited by urbanjunkie on 05-26-2002 at 08:32 PM

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

Inbreds that only come out of their shitty little villages on the weekends don't understand the meaning of "excuse me".

It just rotates their gormless look from whatever almost had their attention to wherever they thought the sound may have come from.

Holding doors open for them gives them the feeling of royalty, and increases the angle of the nose.

Thank fuck for the little old ladies that give a smile of appreciation.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

thanks, fuck.

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Baba Kueria
Posts: 3146

Running through crowded city streets, dodging and weaving through unsuspecting pedestrians and jammed up traffic alike, hopping over empty benches and hobos, all without physically connecting with anything, is my 3rd favorite form of exercise. No peak-hour city street is too crowded for this if you have an eye for the spaces. It would probably be 2nd favourite if not for all the carbon monoxide. Great for tuning your reflexes as well.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

I am a terribly fast walker and I am constantly impeded by people who walk two, three and sometimes four abreast in slow motion on the sidewalk, thus forcing me to walk either in the street or between the curb and the parking meters. Not only that, but even worse, is when people will simple stop in the middle of the sidewalk to have a conversation as if they were in the confines of their own homes, oblivious to the fact that they make much better walls than doorways. Therefore, urbanjunkie, I support your legislation to the fullest extent possible with every fiber of my being. (Can you tell that you hit a really sore spot here?)

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

quote:

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Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
. . . Therefore, urbanjunkie, I support your legislation to the fullest extent possible with every fiber of my being. . . .

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 13002

UJ I am with you, I hate slow walking bastards. One guilty person was this cunt.



He decided to get in my way whilst walking towards Mansion House Station the dawdling fucker. I knocked him into a wall as I walked past him in an overtaking move. I think this annoyed him because the same day the cunt put interest rates up.

You don't know who it is? It's Eddie George the Governor of the Bank of England. (Alan Greenspan' equivalent)

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Posts: 934

quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
don't you people know how to say "excuse me"?

geez. when i'm in the mall and it's abnormally crowded, i just say "excuse me", and people let me pass.

most of the time people don't realize that you're behind them, or if they do, they don't realize that you want to move faster than them.

---

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

When he was younger, he was Boy George!!!!

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

When there are too many slow dawdlers about, 'excuse me' just isn't enough. I guess that shouting 'Coming through, I have to vomit!' might work better.

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 13002

quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
don't you people know how to say "excuse me"?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7126

quote:

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Originally posted by The Buried Life



Seriously though, if I become so old that my only enjoyment comes from walking around the mall (as opposed to the lake right across the street...), I give any of you permission to euthanise me...

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Registered: May 2001
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 987

What annoys me is when you're walking all fast to get to a class or someplace you're late for and some slow ass jumps in front of you and begins to walk about 1/8 the speed you are. You have to come to screeching stop to keep from ramming into them.

GreenLeakyNipples has a story about a friend of his who had this happen to her. She was walking along to class and a slow ass sorority girl stepped in front of her. She decided fuck it, she wasn't about to slow down for this assmunch so she rammed right into the girl. The chick fell on the ground and gave her one of those patened sorority girl "Oh my god you loser bitch" looks to which GLN's friend said, "Dirty cunt rag." and walked off.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Posts: 934

quote:

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Originally posted by Firedrops
What annoys me is when you're walking all fast to get to a class or someplace you're late for and some slow ass jumps in front of you and begins to walk about 1/8 the speed you are. You have to come to screeching stop to keep from ramming into them.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location:
Posts: 1925

"Also, I honestly can't stand people who brake at green lights...."

i was following someone who didnt brake at a green light, he got rammed in the side by someone who decided to run a red light.

every intersection, i slow down a little bit and check both ways, just so i dont end up dead or something like that.

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Registered: Nov 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 586

My favorite is in the grocery store on Saturday afternoon and two people with carts stop to talk to each other and take up the whole aisle. I usually yell "excuse me" loudly at them.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location:
Posts: 934

i was following someone who didnt brake at a green light, he got rammed in the side by someone who decided to run a red light.


I'm not talking about the light just turning green and waiting for a second, I'm talking about the light having been green for a about a minute and still braking...

People are idiots, but they're not just going to drive through the red light when it's clearly been green for a while for the other cars...

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