Registered: Jun 2002
Location:
Posts: 147

I'm talking about an Invader...not the bar whore that you picked up earlier that night.

I will try to make sure that the last thing this person will ever see on this planet...will be the muzzle flash of a 12 gauge shotgun.

Followed by a split second ringing in his ears...followed by eternal darkness.

But...that's just me...

What do you do...?

L8.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Dec 2000
Location:
Posts: 1800

*CLICK* *CLICK*

The sound of shell loading in a 12 gauge is unmistakable.

Any intruder in their right mind would leave the premisses after hearing that sound.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Dec 2001
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 1574

Push three buttons on my telephone, say "Someone has broken into my house, and I think he has a gun. Send the police." Then I lay really still. The hope is that the police showing up scare him out of the house - priority #1 is that no one gets hurt. #2 is not getting robbed. #3 is catching the bad guy. If I'm home alone, I might lock my door first, then call the cops then go out the window and wait for them.

Leakynips.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 862

quote:

---

Originally posted by Princess_Heather
*CLICK* *CLICK*

The sound of shell loading in a 12 gauge is unmistakable.

Any intruder in their right mind would leave the premisses after hearing that sound.

---

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jun 2002
Location:
Posts: 147

quote:

---

Originally posted by Musashi


kinda depends on where they are no?

if you're just loading your gun, and theirs is already loaded
you = fucked

---

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jun 2002
Location:
Posts: 25

I steal his shoe when he's not looking, then slip a scorpion in it.......

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jun 2002
Location:
Posts: 147

I was down in Dallas today...went in this cell phone cover shop over off of Royal Lane...they had a phone cover that had a big scorpion painted on it...I damn near twisted my ankle jumping when I saw the fucking thing...!

L8.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 4057

My friends step mom had a little marmoset monkey, it was minuscule but had razor sharp teeth, it would haul up your legs, up your back, and bite you on the ear or neck. It was also fucking fast on it's tiny pins, so you can imagine the state of my shorts when Brendan and myself got to his s/moms house after a bit of a drinkup late one night.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

I don't need no yappy dog. I have a... Duck!!!!
She has 3 distinct quacks.
I know you and like you
I know you
I don't know you


THere is generally about 2 hours that one could break in my house and find every one asleep, but no one gets past the Duck.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

I live alone.
I am 75 years old.
Response time for 911 is approximately 45 minutes at best.

Therefore I keep a 12 guage shotgun loaded with #2 buckshot
with one shell in the chamber and the unplugged magazine full
within reach of my bed.

All of my associates know not to walk up to my house at night
without having first called from a phone somewhere.

I would shoot an intruder without hesitation. Ain't nobody supposed to be in my house at 2AM but me.

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

oxsan


Don't kick until yer spurred.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 444

If it's 4:30am.... and an intruder's in my house..... WHAT DO I DO???


Offer him some breakfast and a seat to watch the World Cup with me.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

honestly, I'd probably sleep through it, as long as they were relatively quiet.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

That depends....
What do they look like?
What are they wearing?
Do they smell good?
If it's Catherine Zeta Jones doing the cat burglar thing I might have to put the gun away and get out the restraints.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
Posts: 4175

I have two golden retrievers, who would exuberantly announce his presence and then start bringing him tennis balls, sticks and nylabones. Then they would turn on me and wiggle as they licked my face and knees. (They adore knees, for some reason. We live at the beach so I'm in shorts 24-7. I don't think they like people in long pants.)

I would appear in the doorway, say "that you, hon?" and he would see a 6' 3" 230 lb. man who looks like a distant relative of Uncle Fester.

Though my first instinct would be to sic my wife on him, I'd probably think of a way to turn this to my advantage first. Maybe, as he started to flee, I'd yell "wait! My wife is Scottish! Take some of this atrocious shit with you! Please, for the love o' god, man, at least take the tartan drapes and that ugly goddamn clock! And here, take these ugly fucking nick-nacks and little dolls from Edinburgh castle... I swear, I'll pay you!"

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Sydney
Posts: 72

Go out the rear window and let the insurance pay for the damage. This way buggerlugs lives to see another day.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10153

At 2am I'll usually be awake.

Offer him/her a beer?

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Dec 2000
Location:
Posts: 1800

We don't really have anything in the house anyone would want to steal. We keep all the jewelry and valuables in the safety deposit box at the bank.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Sydney
Posts: 72

quote:

---

Originally posted by Princess_Heather
We don't really have anything in the house anyone would want to steal. We keep all the jewelry and valuables in the safety deposit box at the bank.

---

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2000
Location:
Posts: 5131

If I came into your house Heather, I wouldn't be after jewelry or valuables.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

I run downstairs shooting and hope that its my kids fucking around.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7128

call my father-in-law, who lives six blocks away and is a police officer. i'm sure that he could persuade his colleagues to come expeditiously.

if he wasn't home, i'd call our neighors, and ask them to call the police, then come outside and make alot of racket in order to scare them off. in a situation such as this, unless the person that is in my house was there for the express purpose of hurting me, they'd probably scamper along their merry way.

because sometimes people live in an area where police cannot get there within a reasonable amount of time, i would suggest all of you make a friend in the neighborhood, who would be willing to assist in such a situation.

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jun 2002
Location:
Posts: 27

Shotguns are too messy.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

Morgana, where I live there ain't no neighborhood. If I shot off a 12 guage shotgun at my house at night I doubt that anyone would hear it.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7128

i completely understand that, oxsan. my advice was for the city dwellers. it amazes me how many people don't even know the names of the people who live ten feet away from them.

my mother used to own a house on top of a mountain. literally. her nearest neighbor was seven miles away. she didn't even have a road with a name. although she did have a few shotguns laying around, i doubt anyone would come up during high summer, when copperheads were as plentiful as mosquitoes.

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Lat: 43° 42' 0 N, Long: 79° 34' 0 W
Posts: 2820

I actually thought there was a prowler in my house when I was about 15. I freaked out because I could hear footsteps upstairs. I left my house, grabbed the deadbolt key, and for whatever reason, locked the door behind me (escape would become more difficult. I did this with angry paren