Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me
Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385 |
quote:
Originally posted by billgerat
Yeah, I know. I deserve the derision of all of you.
But this latest episode has definitely cinvinced me that she is definitely a mental case worse than me. Anyone who agrees to marry someone after 2 weeks together needs professional help.
No, I an not going to take her back when hippie boy and her hit the skids. Even if I was inclined to, the conditions I'd lay down to her would be too much for her to handle anyways.
I hate to do this to ya, buddy. But it has to be done.
Just a taste.
quote:
Originally posted by billgerat
Whew. Just when you thought you've heard it all, something else comes along that just fucking amazes you.
Some of you out there know a little bit of the soap opera saga of me and my ex-GF; I've written a few threads about her and I in the last 2 years. But for those who don't, I'll breifly recapitulate.
In February 2000, I became reaquainted with a woman who I hadn't seen in almost 10 years. I have known her since she was 13 (I was 16 when I first met her). She was married but looking to leave her husband, & living not far from me. After about a month of being just friends, we started an affair. Her husband soon found out & she left him, and moved in with me.
I won't add the obvious comments about trusting a woman that you began seeing when she had an affair with you, but go on...
A question though, are her children from that marriage? *refuses to hyperlink threads about her kids* But it is a good question, if the notion of her on a whim marrying a guy (again, I'll refrain from comment about your own engagment) strikes you as something indicative of bad character, then I assume she hasn't exhibited this behavior before? She has a 22 year old son, after all, surely her marriage that you "broke up" was a longstanding commitment and not a fly by night marriage that meant nothing to her? This is an important question.
We lived together for almost a year, then when things between us soured, she left me to go live with a guy in Germany (!).
I'll break in here to add something.
Two weeks later, she realized she screwed up & wanted to come back, and like a fool, I let her.
Two quotes:
Yes, I have some reluctance to taking her back, but I think there are going to be some differences this time. She has agreed to go to counseling, and I think she learned a big lesson from all this. Just after New Years, things went sour on her with the guy in Germany, so they decided to be just friends, and she realized her daughter would never be happy over there anyways. She was planning to fly back here on the 14th, but when she answered the phone this morning, she found herself talking to this woman who was this guy's other girlfriend, who he was hiding from her the whole time. It shocked her so much when she found out about the other woman that she immediately changed her flight out for this next Monday. I feel it was a case of poetic justice.
and
I think she's being honest with me right now. We've been talking via Instant Messaging for hours every day, with a few phone calls thrown in. It's a good thing I have known her for over 20 years because I can tell when she is talking shit or not. I will see how things go for awhile when she gets back. She knows one more fuck-up out of her it will be over for good.
I put these quotes here just to give a sense of timeline. Which we shall continue with....now.
At this point (God only knows why) we decided that we were going to get married.
We lived for 6 more months when she decided she didn't love me anymore so she moved out with her daughter & we didn't talk for about 3 months. Obviously no wedding.
ONE
Last September we started talking again & shortly thereafter she moved back in, which lasted until January of this year.
TWO
She moved out again & got an apartment in a nearby town. She started dating another guy & we didn't talk again for awhile.
In April she called, and let me know that she had broke up with the guy & wanted us to date again. For some reason (insanity I guess) I really still loved her & thought that now since we weren't living together that maybe we could have a relationship that had a chance of working out. Boy, was I delusional. Two weeks later she tells me her and the other guy were getting back together, so back to being just friends again.
THREE
Three weeks ago, she finally broke up with the other guy for good & said that she decided that she still loved me and wanted to date again. Ok, the lunkhead I am went for it. After a week of this, I noticed she was acting strange & something was up. Sure enough, two Sundays ago she said that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else right now. Since then we have barely talked.
FOUR
Towards the end of the week we were together, she introduced me to a friend of hers named Tony, who she has known for about a year and a half. He is this guy who looks like a hippie, scroungy looking with tattoos all over, and a drug user. I never thought that he was her type at all (she has said several times that she would never be with a drug user; I quit pot 2 years ago because of her). He is a lowly minimal wage fry cook for some scuzzy restaurant, and drives an old beater station wagon (the ex has been pleading with me for a long time for me to get myself some nice wheels because she doesn't like beater cars).
Well, I heard tonight from her daughter that right after she dumped me for the 5th time that they started seeing each other, and that after two weeks they have decided that they are going to get married, sometime in September.
I mean no malice of this, just tough love. But let's look at it.
No, I an not going to take her back when hippie boy and her hit the skids. Even if I was inclined to, the conditions I'd lay down to her would be too much for her to handle anyways.
You said similarly after the FIRST time (by my count anyway). Four chances ago was her last chance, remember? And also, when you took her back that time, you "laid down conditions". How did that turn out? The "Even if I was inclined to, the conditions..." bit strikes me as a "I won't, BUT IF..." sort of phrase. You laid down conditions four times ago and she apparantly accepted. If she accepts again, what then?
I don't mean to be a dick with this post. I wouldn't have spent so much time making it if I wasn't so frustrated with you in this situation. The words "Even if..." should never even cross your lips here, Bill. The words "No," however, should. Often. At every opportunity.
You're playing the sap here, Bill. And from the tone of your posts in this thread, I don't see that your attitude has significantly changed.
I could just not post your past reactions, and just ask you: What were her other relationships, before you, like? Stable, monogomous, and longstanding, or at a whim and indicative of a playing slut? What has your reactions to her coming back been? Stern and heavy-handed, or all bark and no bite rolling over?
Maybe it's not the nuts being attracted to you. Maybe it's you attracting the nuts. And maybe there is a reason for that.
Run, Bill. Shut this woman out of your life.
Nothing but "no" should cross your lips as far as she is concerned.
Tough love, from an anonymous internet personality who thinks you are worth a lot more than you're allowing yourself, and suspects this trend will continue.
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08-01-2002 06:45 AM
