Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

You are the President of the United States. You are interrupted during breakfast one morning and informed that due to an entirely benign glitch in the system, the entire Russian nuclear arsenal has been launched. The United States and its overseas bases constitute 98% of the targets. They will be utterly obliterated in 3 hours. Everyone will die and the continent will be uninhabitable for 100 years. The rest of the world will be left to deal with the fallout, but won't suffer from direct bombardment for the most part.

For the sake of this discussion, please assume a few things.

1) There is no way to stop the missiles from detonating on their targets.
2) The launch was ENTIRELY accidental. There was no malice on anyone's part. Shit happened.
3) You have 3 hours. I think that it would actually take less time than this, but I'll give you three hours.

So what do you do? Jump in AirForce 1 and fly away? Stay and go down with the ship? Fire the US arsenal back?

Personally, I would not fire back. No point in destroying both countries and do even more damage to the rest of the world. They will suffer enough from the destruction of North America.

I think I would inform the world and the US population what happened and urge that this tragedy be used to propel the world towards peace and cooperation. I would stay with my country, perhaps flying to a peaceful area near a lake or something. I just couldn't justify deserting the nation, and since there won't be anyone left to lead afterwards…

What about you?

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

We haven't played this game before, have we? It seemed original, but just as I hit submit, deja vu washed over me and now I wonder if we have worked through these before. Oh well, might as well play again, no?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18808

If I were President I would have worked my ass off to disarm the world and this wouldn't have ever happened. But I'm going to play in the confines of the rules:

I'd address the world and tell them what's up. I'd then go have me some sex, have a few Cold Ones with the Secret Service, and watch the show from the top of the Pentagon while having some more Cold Ones.

I have actually sat down and thought of what I would do in the event of a nuclear launch at the US and if it was hitting anywhere near my location I wouldn't bother with saving myself. If I weren't killed by the blast the radiation would do me in. So, what's the point?

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

I'd come to the Asylum and type this sentence.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16334

Save myself and as many as I can in a short time. It won't wipe out the entire population, due to Americans abroad. We'll have a country to rebuild, one way or another.

Amen.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

Where you planning on setting up camp, JEB? I'd let you stay with me, but there are only so many futon in the house.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location:
Posts: 1925

similar to social parasite, if i was president i would have aimed for unilateral disarmament. thats not part of the equation though.

in that situation, i would probably launch everything i had at every other nuclear power in the world in order to destroy humanity.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18808

By the by, if you ever find yourself near Blue Rapids, Kansas and a nuclear war breaks out you should head for they gyp. mine just a few miles outside of town. Find yourself a way into the place and just ride an elevator down.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16334

quote:

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Originally posted by Nutrimentia
Where you planning on setting up camp, JEB? I'd let you stay with me, but there are only so many futon in the house.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

Nope, Hawaii and Alaska are targets too, as well as Guam and Puerto Rico and Cuba and Okinawa.

I'm sure we do have a contigency plan, something akin to what they did in Deep Impact. And I suspect that such an assault would be surprising in respect to how it is worse than imagined in some ways yet not as bad as expected in others.

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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 4164

Once I had finished with the formalities of office I would ofcourse leave at least ten minutes to bend around and kiss my ass good-bye (obviously being blown by the Penthouse pets and Playboy bunnies ranks high on my to-do list.)

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 2947

I'd launch everything we had. Every nuke, every chem, bio, scalar, neutron, ect. weapon. The ENTIRE arsenal. If America is to die, so is the world.

Glitch or not, someone would pay.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Van Diemen's Land.
Posts: 3607

I'd get really, really stoned.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

quote:

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Originally posted by Timeenoughforlove
I'd launch everything we had. Every nuke, every chem, bio, scalar, neutron, ect. weapon. The ENTIRE arsenal. If America is to die, so is the world.

Glitch or not, someone would pay.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 4875

this is a great thread, and I will think for a little while before I respond with what I think I would do(obviously I'd use all our missiles to try to spell out tack rules, or at least chairfa, on the moon, but Besides that)

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 9331

Blame Canada.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 9331

But seriously. I'd probably get my ass 3 miles underground in one of those super bunkers along with a lifetimes supply of Doritos and every movie, video game and other amusements known to man. No point in launching the nukes back.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 2947

quote:

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Originally posted by Nutrimentia


I posted this story specifically to see if there would be any responses like this. Unfortunately, you never can tell if its people trying to be funny or if they really believe it.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35658

America might well die someday, like every other empire died off.

Do we all have to die then, too?

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18147

I would take off. Not that I don't think captains shouldn't go down with the ship, but SOMEBODY has to be left, and it might as well be the guy who was privy to most of the secrets of my country - me.

I wouldn't fire more missiles, but I do have a problem with it being a benign mistake. If someone has a missile system capable of obliterating the world, they are responsible for its mistakes and accountable for them. If for no other reason, I would get on a plane so that there would be a voice for the people who didn't make it. Also, if I'm a good enough speaker to be elected president, I ought to be able to glean some good for the rest of us out of this event.

As long as there are places like North Korea, I have no use for American disarmament at all. That is not to say that I think a non-nuclear world wouldn't be nice; it would, of course. So would a world of endless free love and free pancakes every morning for breakfast. But you're essentially talking about stuff that doesn't exist and cannot exist any time soon, until such time as we have a weapons system that makes nukes obsolete and ineffective. And I can't think of such a system. I hope someone else can.

So the question is really really loaded in the sense that it's an impossible situation for one thing. It'll never happen. If you're asking do I think America should take everyone else out with us if we go, then the answer is: Of course not. Would I stay to fry if I could leave? Of course not. It's already stated that I didn't cause it in any way. If I can split, I'll split. But I don't know that I'd want to tell anyone. I don't know that I'd want the last three hours of most of their lives to be spent in panicked terror when otherwise they'd be going along as usual until the instant they were vaporized.

Whoever was behind the mistake, however, should have the common decency to go out back and shoot himself.

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

I would get in my car and drive southwest. There is country in
southwest Texas that no one would be willing to waste a bomb on.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19114

I think you over estimate the power of their nukes.
I would warn everyone and evacuate where I could'
As president, I do have escape plans and would use them.
I also have the abikity to react as they can't accidently take out every weapon th US has. The sub force would never "accidently" be destroyed so someone better be getting me some irrefutable proof that it was an accident and really quick.
The Empire would be over but the country would survive.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

I would hang out and then do battle with the giant radiation exposed insects that would roam the country.

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