Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7148

what's your stance on cheating? it's come up here in melesse's thread, and i've seen quite a few things pop up on some other boards. so i'm bringing the questions to you:

what is your definition of cheating? are there ever realistic instances where cheating is acceptable? do you think that the person being cheated on is in part responsible some of the time?

speak.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35656

I can't see how breaking a promise to someone to achieve gratification for yourself is justifiable. It has to be wrong, surely?

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Registered: Sep 2001
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No red card / yellow card option smug?

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
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Well, I think that we can all agree that it is less wrong if the girl that you are unfaithful with is super hot.

On the other hand, for a woman to be unfaithful at all should result in stoning.

I think that we can all agree on those modifications, surely?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9130

aggreed

once agin smug speaks the truth

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Registered: Apr 2001
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I am free of such worries...though Ill probably go to hell for it...weeee!

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: A Whale's Vagina!
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ummm, I am against unfaithfullness in any aspect of the definition, if you are "with" someone then you should be faithful to that person, however if a person is stupid enough to cheat on someone with me, then I have no mercy, besides if it doesn't affect me it doesn't matter.

Always Look out for #1

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Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:

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Originally posted by HoRiZoN


Always Look out for #1

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
Posts: 4252

Any one that justifies cheating has never seen the eyes of someone betrayed.
You can sugar coat it with "My wife doesn't understand me" etc... but if you cheat you hurt many people deeply.
If your SO says it's OK, it just means he or she just wants to cheat on you without the guilt. That is more of an association rather than a partnership.
If you want something REAL, you give yourself to your mate. I think if most people envisioned their SO's reaction to their affairs they would never have started cheating in the first place.

Try to imagine the numb-faced feeling of looking at the most important person to you on earth's anger and blind hatred as you reveal your sin. Imagine that sweet little thing you have dedicated your life to screaming at you red faced, asking "How could you?".
Imagine the first night alone at a friend's house, sleeping on the couch with the flashes of anger and the twisted and enraged screams of your SO echoing in your head, wondering if you will ever see your children again.
Weigh that against the thrill of poking some low self esteem waitress that tastes like cigarettes and smells like french fries.

Cheating is a fool's paradise.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: A Whale's Vagina!
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you should be a marriage counselor D_B

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Registered: Apr 2001
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ignoring pride and subjective social tradition (in this day and age where birth control is readily available) I don’t really see what the big deal is. Splat is free to enjoy his life, he is a good enough man to be trusted with such responsibility imo.
Debauchery in moderation baby!

As long as he doesnt cheat when we are playing Risk its all good.

MADAGASCAR WAS MINE BEFORE I WENT TO THE BATHROOM!!

BASTARD!!!

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: US
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...another question: if someone cheats on you and then tells you about it, is there any reason that the person should be forgiven? if a person cheats is he/she always a cheater??

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NYC
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quote:

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Originally posted by euphorbia
I am free of such worries...though Ill probably go to hell for it...weeee!

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you must ell me the secrets of keeping a dingaling in a man's pants, wise 4b.....

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Registered: Aug 2000
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If my girl would cheat on me, it would mean she would have risen from the dead, and probably would eat the flesh of the guy she fucked, and all would be forgiven.

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quote:

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Originally posted by shyloh


you must ell me the secrets of keeping a dingaling in a man's pants, wise 4b.....

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
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So what, exactly, is cheating? I mean assuming that you and your SO have explicitly agreed to an exclusive relationship, what constitutes a violation of that agreement? (Also assuming that you haven't sat down and negotiated and documented every single forbidden act of physical intimacy?)

If you're drunk and sloppy and you've been hanging out with someone you just met earlier in the night, and you share a kiss goodnight, never to see each other again...is that cheating?

If you spend 45 minutes on the dance floor making out with said person, but then never see them again, is that cheating?

What if you touch their booby, or they touch yours? (Or whatever the equivalent would be, for a pair of men...)

Brief hand/genital contact?

Hand job?

Oral sex?

What if the two of you go somewhere private and just watch each other masturbate, without touching each other?

Is it still cheating, if you keep your underwear on?

What's the furthest you've gone, without feeling like you cheated?

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Registered: Apr 2001
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good post cage.

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Registered: Feb 2001
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As of right now in my life, my personal belief is that cheating on someone requires that you be in a relationship with someone. Dating does not count. If you do anything beyond flirting I'd basically call it cheating. Just my opinion.

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Registered: Apr 2001
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cheating is going to be relative to what your partner wouldn’t be cool with. Looking at porn would be cheating if you did it knowing your partner would get angry because of it…in essence anything you have to go behind their back and do and would cause them to be angry if they found out.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Oz
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I've always felt that if I was in a situation where I wanted to cheat on my partner I obviously shouldn't be in that relationship

If you are single or just casually seeing someone then I think it's fine to go & shag your brains out with anyone you want

But if you & your partner have agreed to be in a committed Monogomous relationship then no it's not okay

Unless you have both agreed it's okay to seek other sexual partners outside that relationship

But I've seen people who have relationships like that & while it may work for a while
Eventually Jealousy will rear its ugly head & the situation gets very tangled & messy even more so if children are involved


I have a personal code I have lived by & it has served me well
I don't get involved with guys who are married
or in any sort of committed relationship
& I don't date friends exes
I've never understood the kind of woman who could do over a friend
just to get into bed with their friends husband or boyfriend
& if I friend & I like the same guy I will always step back & let them go for it
To me my friendships have always been more important


missjo
Guess I'll never end up a Jerry Springer guest
Oh well

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
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I agree with 4B.
Anything you would be ashamed to do in front of your SO with another person is cheating.

I definetly believe "Open" relationships are destined to fail in all practical terms. That is where I disagree with 4B, sorry sweety.

I am a terrible flirt but that is something I frequently do when my wife is with me. I don't think I could bring myself to do anything that I know would hurt my wife.

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Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:

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Originally posted by Dog Breath


I definetly believe "Open" relationships are destined to fail in all practical terms. That is where I disagree with 4B, sorry sweety.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: California
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quote:

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Originally posted by euphorbia


I just dont think sex should be the basis of a life long union.
Call me crazy.

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Sex isn't the basis of my relationship. Respect is the key. Devotion is the basis.

You can't divide your loyalty and still be loyal.

Don't you think you would be a little jealous if Splat found another sex partner and saw her every night, sleeping there more than at home? Do you have a rule about how far he can take these other relationships?

4B, I love you like a sister. I would hate to see you get hurt.
Fuck Splat, I could give a shit about him.

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Registered: Apr 2001
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quote:

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Originally posted by Dog Breath



Do you have a rule about how far he can take these other relationships?

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yes sir we do

I got to run or Id get into it. maybe Ill send a PM when I get back.
Off to drywall....phear my power tools.

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