Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Right there beside you..
Posts: 1056

Why am I so sad today?

Maybe it's coz i've been stuck at home for two weeks and not gone out to visit ANYONE cept the local shopping centre to do my grocery shopping..

maybe it's because my husband has a life and i dont

maybe it's because I'm bored and lonely and the only company I have at the moment is my daughter - and as much as i love her, i need a break and I havent had one since the day she was born.. I don't even get to go to the toilet by myself anymore coz she follows me in.

Maybe I'm suffering post-postnatal depression.. bit late, but does it happen?



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I am the music behind your insanity.
My Undulating Painted Plaything Exudes Talent!!<morgana says so>

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: albany
Posts: 1386

then turn the darn computer off and do somethin about it.that is all it takes.goodnight im going to sleep

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Right there beside you..
Posts: 1056

opus, i dont normally say this, but fuck you. I have been on the go non stop for the past two weeks, with hardly a break, and today is the first time i've actually sat down at the computer to just blank out.. but it doesnt fucking work and what am i meant to do about it?



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I am the music behind your insanity.
My Undulating Painted Plaything Exudes Talent!!<morgana says so>

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: albany
Posts: 1386

no need to get nasty but if it makes you feel better well then let her rip. first you say you have been stuck at home for two weeks then you say youve been on the go for two weeks all im saying is you control youre own situation, the ones who dont are the ones who make excuses.so basically im sayin
you could sit there or you could do somethin about it.its your choice.and yes bumkum i spell like doodoo.im goin to sleep goodnight

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18831

Poor Muppet. I can understand your plight. Our 16 month old leechboy has not given Big Al a minute's rest since he popped out. He rarely will let me or Little Al entertain him, insisting upon Big Al's constant attention. Her life has, for the most part, simply been an extension of his.
She fortifies herself with the knowledge that all things come to pass. You must simply remind yourself that the same holds true for you.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Right there beside you..
Posts: 1056

opus i'm sorry i was nasty - when i said i'd been "on the go" i literally meant at home - non stop crap at home. I haven't had time to sit down and scratch my ass (trust me this is true - baby even follows me to the toilet sigh), cleaning, cooking - all the housewifey things, and today I was at home all day with my parents and my in-laws knocking down a brick fence and hacking trees to bits ("pruning" I've never pruned anything in my life, therefore I was hacking.) I'm sore, I'm grumpy, my period is late but I'm still suffering the effects of really BAD PMT, and that last bit I spose you didn't want to know, but it sort of explains things.

Wonder I totally sympathize with you and Big Al - I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, I love her too much, but I need an hour a day just to be me - not Brittany's mum or vaughan's wife.. just to be plain old boring Tan.

On a side note - Vaughan's decided that I'm too boring to be around so he's gone out the past two nites in a row. Whilst that doesn't sound like much, and that I shouldn't begrudge him that, it is. He rarely goes out, but now he's drinking and smoking dope, so he has new friends, and only one of them I know. Last nite he went drinking with his mates and tonite he's off at a friends house getting stoned. According to him I'm boring because I don't do either of these things. Is this my fault? Am I a bad person because I choose to be responsible and be sober for my baby? For fucks sake, why not chop of my head, or lynch me, hang me from a tree and set fire to me. You think I'm bitter? well I fucking have a right to be. It is not often that good ol' MuPPeT sits in a chair and feels sorry for herself,in fact, I rarely ever do it, but my life as I have known it for almost three years is slowly but surely going down the shitter.

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I am the music behind your insanity.
My Undulating Painted Plaything Exudes Talent!!<morgana says so>

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

Opus, I don't think you really understand the situation. Neither did I till I moved here, really.

When you are taking care of a child, you can't just "change your situation". You can't just go out clubbing, leaving the little baby to fend for themselves. You have to be there to take care of them. And if you are not working and your SO is, that means you spend A LOT of time at home, with only the child to keep you company, and can't really do much of anything but be a caretaker. You know how much I would love to just go barhopping or something? But I know I can't. Sometimes it sux. I have been out once in the last month just for fun's sake. I empathize totally with Muppet. Sometimes you get really down about it. It happens to me about once a week.

In any case, it sucks, and there isn't a helluva lot you can do about it. So I have no advice, just to hang in there. And to let you know I empathize.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: albany
Posts: 1386

I hear ya paint i used to have to watch my 2 step kids while the s.o went to school wich left me with 4 hours sleep before work when she got home.that was the routine over and over.only on sunday where we ever all together and awake.but alas that situation ended a long time ago.I uderstand what youre sayin paint,but it seems like muppets problems are more than just feeling trapped.I wish i had the answers but i dont if i did i'd still be a farther.but like you stated even if we cant help we do understand and hope for the best.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6347

MuPPeT, I think you should speak with your husband about this.

Let me summarize what I understand from this:
You have been working your ass off for two weeks, looking after your child, etc, and you are feeling depressed.
All this while your husband is out drinking and getting stoned.
Not only is this very irresponsible parenting on your husband's behalf, but I believe that if he says that you are too boring because you dont do drugs, and chooses his stoner-friends over his own wife, then he needs to get his priorities straightened out.

MuPPeT, talk about it. It doesn't matter who you speak to. Just talk. I assure you, it will help. You will feel so much better.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5704

quote:

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Originally posted by MuPPeT:
maybe it's because I'm bored and lonely and the only company I have at the moment is my daughter - and as much as i love her, i need a break and I havent had one since the day she was born.. I don't even get to go to the toilet by myself anymore coz she follows me in.

---

Been there, still doing that

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6347

Oops, forgot to add this.

MuPPeT, if you want, email me at gbotha1@cs.com

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

Muppet, I was really sorry to hear how you've been feeling. Grab your queen friend, hand your husband your child and say cya next Saturday night.
Have a banana daquiri for me.
*hugs*

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

Since I'm friends with men, mostly, I'll offer my two cents' worth. Most of these guys are recently married, recently fathering. They lack a connection with the baby that the mother has, and it's depressing for a lot of them. Rather than do the logical thing, and spend time with the baby a/o the mother, they cut loose and go out. I think most men need to get this out of their systems, run around with their buddies, drink, watch sports or whatever turns guys on, and then get back to real life. As of now, one guy is past that stage (a few months long) and the other is just beginning it. I know both love their wives deeply, and are ecstatic as hell about their kids, but they need separate identities too. Not that this solves the problem of their WIVES needing separate identities, but I hope it help explains a few things. Tell Vaughn you know where he's coming from, and like absolut suggested, get your ass out of the house. If you set up one night a week that is his to go out, one night for you, one day for the whole family together, and one night for the two of you, your marriage will probably be a lot healthier, and you'll have more energy to devote to your baby as she grows up. BTW, as the kid gets older, get a lock on your bedroom door.

Good luck with it, and I hope it all works out for you.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Right there beside you..
Posts: 1056

You guys are great

Okay - I'll say I took your advice, altho, I did most everything you guys suggested when he got home last nite.

I shall explain. be patient, this will be a little long, but I'll try keep it minimal.

I rang vaughan at 12:30am to ask him when he was coming home - the answer i got was "i dunno.. i'm not sure.. whenever" so naturally I got pissed off.. I hung up on him. I felt bad about hanging up on him after a 1/2 hour and after I'd calmed down, so I rang him on his mobile again and there was no answer.. and I kept trying and trying, still no answer. I can almost certainly guarantee you that I rang that goddamned mobile phone 80 times (Vaughan has a habit of not answering the phone when i'm in the shits and it drives me insane) so i figured if i kept ringing he'd answer eventually - he didnt. Then I thought about him driving home smashed, what if he'd gotten into an accident blahb lah blah, so i rang his friends house. There was no answer - but everyone was there still. I assumed vaughan had asked his friend not to answer the phone - so I got shittier. (At this time my mental state was shot to shit and I wasn't thinking at all..) I abused the telephone, abused the answering machine and slammed the phone down. By this time, it was 2:15am, and I wasnt worried anymore, i was RABID. I got my baby out of bed, poor little thing, and jumped into the car and went to his friends house. by the time I got there I'd calmed down, and he sent me an SMS on my telephone to say he was home.

So home i went - a 20 minute drive was completed in 7 minutes. I think my car was travelling at warp speed. I got back home, put my baby to bed and confronted vaughan. After 3 hours of ranting and raving, we sorted shit out. Now I feel fine, altho a bit worn out as I only had 3 hours sleep.

All I needed was to have a rant, that's what I did. At home and here. Now I'm over it.

Thanks for putting up with me



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I am the music behind your insanity.
My Undulating Painted Plaything Exudes Talent!!<morgana says so>

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10183

i can sympythise, i have a 20 month old, and i dont even bother picking up my apartment anymore. Btw, Tan is kinda a cool name, whats it short for?

Also, put the kid in daycare for a week and relax. Everyone working person on the earth gets vacation time, no reason you shouldnt too.

Lastly, /me sekzorz muppet while firemaster isnt looking

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10183

"...and we always say, it would be good to go away, someday
but if there’s nothing there to make things change
if it’s the same for you I’ll just hang..."

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Right there beside you..
Posts: 1056

Dingle - Tan is short for Tanja (pronounced Tahn-ya not Tanya or Tan-Ja sigh hehe)

Yesterday I dropped the baby off at my mums place, went to a beauticians and had my nails donen - 1 1/2 hours of adult conversations YAY i'm happy I've decided that I'm going to go back to work part time - so i'm currently looking around for a decent (and not too expensive) daycare centre for bubba.. once that's done, and i've settled her into the new routine, i'll be back at work quicker than you can say "muppys got a job" hehe

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I am the music behind your insanity.
My Undulating Painted Plaything Exudes Talent!!<morgana says so>

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