Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 74

The pastor's car has been vandalized. It was really kind of funny.. They cut the vinyl roof to shreds and scratched the paint from bumper to bumper. I was standing with about 10 other people in front of the church when he pulled into the parking lot. It looked like he was driving a freaking float in a parade. You could hear the strips of vinyl rustling in the wind as he pulled around the corner. It was hilarious and I know they all wanted to laugh but everyone stayed quiet.

So we all walk over to see what happened. As the pastor is telling the story, I notice that he's looking at me the same as he did after I poisioned the grass. I'm thinking to myself, wait a minute, its been almost a year, I've restored the lawn. I get the feeling I'm being falsely accused by both the patsor and the congregation. I'm pretty sure they've had another secret meeting about me. Things were just starting to get back to normal. I'm sure I was going to get my keys back.

This sucks. I was regaining everyones trust, and now this. Pair this with the ongoing tear gas battle with the land lord and you might understand why I'm considering a relapse. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to go through all of this bs again without a little help from Mr Beam. SERENITY NOW.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

What the fuck?? Do you go to the Nazi church? Tell the congregation to suck a fart outta your ass.

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Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Harm's Way
Posts: 557

I think you should break into his house in the middle of the night and kill his entire family with a claw hammer.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

Make it a Titanium Ice Pick.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

quote:

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Originally posted by Goatboy
Make it a Titanium Ice Pick.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 11769

Be sure to videotape it.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

And make sure to wear gloves and a mask. Don't forget to rape the wife. Video that especally.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

Kill the dog first, then with as much resulting gore as possible, remove its jaw and forcibly rape the wife with it and video it.

I have been well informed that there is a growing specialty market for this sort of thing.

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Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Harm's Way
Posts: 557

Freeze your semen in the shape of a big butcher knife and stab the pastor to death with your frozen cum.

It will melt inside the wounds looking like he was killed by a ballistic cumshot.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

It's obviously a conspiracy. The pastor likely shredded his own car so as to put the blame on you. He's jealous of the goodwill you're restoring in the congregation, through your selfless lawn efforts.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

Watch out for snakes!

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

The pinnacle of Failbot technology.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: LfuckinA
Posts: 3350

i like reading ratred's posts. they remind me of something. they say to me, "flocat, your life isn't as pathetic as you think." yay!

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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 4056

quote:

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Originally posted by Jack the Bagman
Freeze your semen in the shape of a big butcher knife and stab the pastor to death with your frozen cum.

It will melt inside the wounds looking like he was killed by a ballistic cumshot.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Oz
Posts: 944

Did you know that the Vandals were an Ancient race of people who had a bad reputation



missjo
Ive been watching too many documentaries on SBS lately

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

quote:

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Originally posted by missjo
Did you know that the Vandals were an Ancient race of people who had a bad reputation.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 9694

The University of Idaho's mascot is a vandal.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 74

quote:

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Originally posted by Jack the Bagman
Freeze your semen in the shape of a big butcher knife and stab the pastor to death with your frozen cum.

It will melt inside the wounds looking like he was killed by a ballistic cumshot.

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I miss Peter Torque.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7537

quote:

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Originally posted by missjo
Did you know that the Vandals were an Ancient race of people who had a bad reputation

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26383

quote:

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Originally posted by skalie
Are they the ones who did all that cave grafitti?

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Point.

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