Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

I have just returned from my Cardio-pulmonary Rehabilitation session at the hospital (actually that is just a cover for the US Navy Seal Re-elistment Prep Training conducted by the woman from Dachau who made lamp shades as a hobby). When I enter the hospital for this purpose I go through the Emergency Room waiting area to get there and there is a rest room there. Since I am taking four diuretic pills a day I decided to stop by there for a minute. While engaged in my purpose there I noticed the toilet tissue in the dispenser looked odd. It was too narrow. In order to study this further I tore off a small piece and put it in my pocket. Later after running at top speed for twenty miles on a treadmill with sixty pound weights strapped to each leg I worked up a sweat and went into the Cardio-Pulmonary Rehabilitation dressing room where I knew there was a rest toom with a stock of towels. I noticed that the toilet paper there was normal. Sp I tore off a small piece and put it in my pocket.

After I got home I carefully measured the width of each piece with my vernier calipers. I found:

Width of Emergency room tissue was 3.500 inches (8.890 cm)
Width of card. Pul. tissue was 4,503 inches (11.338 cm)

Since I try to find reason and purpose in all things in this universe
I beg you to help me answer the burning question of my day which is:

Why is the Cardio-Pulmonary Rehab center toilet tissue over an inch wider than the Emergency room waiting room toilet tissue?????????????????????????????????

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oxsan


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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 13114

Definitely a burning question for our times.

My guess would be different department heads ordering from separate supply companies.

Or it could be that it is that way deliberately to give people running on the treadmill something to occupy their minds with so they don't notice how tired they are. Sneaky bastards.

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: US
Posts: 3548

If they had decent toilet paper in the emergency room, all the hobos would start going to the hospital to drop their blessings. Plus, the ER is pretty damn busy and I imagine that is a very active bathroom, and in an attempt to conserve spending, the hospital decided on the thin, more aerodynamic ass tissue.

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

quote:

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something to occupy their minds

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oxsan


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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

So Lu proposes that it is a matter of money. Mammon rules!

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oxsan


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Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2451

I, like Lu also think it is likely a cost issue. The Cardio lab likely has lot's of money coming in from all the over stressed business men that end up there whilst the ER gets all the uninsured types. I guess they figure that you won't take a longer strip just cause it's narrower and so save the cost of that extra 1.5in.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18157

People using the bathroom in the ER are likely NOT patients, as it is the ER. People in the CPRC likely ARE patients and covered by extravagant insurance (or they would be left to rot, of course).

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

You may be right Geaes--but this is not a good hunting ground
for everstressed business men. That suited me but I am a rarity in Parker County. More likely here is a roper who is overstressed because hgis best ropin' horse just went lame.

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oxsan


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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: China
Posts: 11795

That's why market health care is more efficient than statist health care.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

Astounding.

-m

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16346

I'm sure it's purdy much along the same kinda reasonin' like how come izzit that jackass insists upon wearin' his drawers yanked so far up his crack it looks like he's wearin' a thong. In sum, there's just no use tryin' t'figger out a logical explanation fer sum thangs.

Amen.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
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quote:

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Later after running at top speed for twenty miles on a treadmill with sixty pound weights strapped to each leg

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5710

quote:

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Originally posted by oxsan
After I got home I carefully measured the width of each piece with my vernier calipers. ...

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I think you're the first person I actually "know" who owns vernier calipers!

P.S. Vernier is my married name and yes, my ex in-laws are related to that Vernier. A little useless information for your day

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 10232

your claim to fame?

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
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Clearly it is even more evidence supporting Einstein's Theory of Relativity. It would seem the Cardio-Pulmonary Rehab center's toilet tissue is somewhere near a black hole...thus the frame dragging. It would probably be a good place to stand if one wanted to impress someone with their penis size.

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
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You may not hear from me anymore since I doubt that I can move this computer console into that small bathroom.

So Flocat you are related to "that" Vernier by marriage. Super!! I have in times past been a tool engineer and a tool and die maker and a good precision set of vernier calipers and a good set of micrometers of different size was essential in both jobs. On all of the Machine tools (lathes, mills, borers, profilers, grinders, etc) the machine's movements and positioning are controlled by vernier scales. A micrometer reallly is nothing but a vernier scale wrapped around two concentric rods. Clever thought your relative's find. I'm impressed.

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oxsan


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Last edited by oxsan on 03-29-2003 at 03:19 AM

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

quote:

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it would take me a week to do that

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oxsan


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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19119

quote:

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Originally posted by oxsan
Skalie do New Zealanders ever speak in hyperbole for the sake of emphasis.?

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
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quote:

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Originally posted by oxsan
Skalie do New Zealanders ever speak in hyperbole for the sake of emphasis.?

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Registered: May 2002
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quote:

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Originally posted by euphorbia
It would probably be a good place to stand if one wanted to impress someone with their penis size.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
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quote:

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Originally posted by mmmsivart
There, or in Asia.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26420

Goddamn Oxsan, I don't know why, but that first post had me laughing my ass off.

Err.

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Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3876

Excellent, Chips Jr. Scientists are now advising that hearty laughter is an immediate aid to digestion, relaxation of tense musculature and arteriasl dilation which reduces stoke and heart attacks---so go read it again.

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oxsan


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Registered: Oct 2001
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Erm...that's PaintChips.

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