Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

and thought it was cute.

" AS I MATURE "

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you...
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon,
while all the less important ones just never go away.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NYC
Posts: 3598

Amen to that.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

Amen to "I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place."?

Walk away.

Amen to "I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it."?

More bollocks.

Squee at sea needs to spend less time coverting with whores while onland and more time converting with whores while online.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

yeah. I got this email today.

> Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at
> the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for
>
> the good ones because they are afraid of falling and
>
> getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten
>
> apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.
>
> So the apples at the top think something is wrong with
>
> them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have
>
> to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to
>climb all the way to the top of the tree.
>
> YOU'RE A GOOD APPLE.
>
> SHARE THIS WITH OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE GOOD APPLES,
>
> EVEN THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY BEEN PICKED.


skin of evil.. apple.. same thing really.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

and this one:

The old American absent mindedly arrived at French customs at Paris airport and fumbled for his passport. "You have been to France before Monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The ancient Yank
admitted that he had been to France before. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready for inspection," snapped the irate official.

The American said that the last time he came to France he did not have to show his passport.

"Impossible, old man. You Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France."

The old American gave the Frenchman a long hard look. "I assure you, young man, that when I came ashore on Omaha Beach in Normandy on D-day in 1944, there was no damned Frenchman on the beach."

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

haha

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

Alexi Sayle was asked by Autralian customs if he had a criminal record.

His reply was "I didn't think I still needed one".

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4509

I'll climb to the top of the tree, but I'm picking a whole bushel while I'm up there. No sense in all that effort for one stupid apple.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16728

quote:

---

Originally posted by skalie
Alexi Sayle was asked by Autralian customs if he had a criminal record.

His reply was "I didn't think I still needed one".

---

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Mar 2003
Location: Adonis Towers
Posts: 105

absolutely guaranteed to get you on the receiving end of an intrusive cavity search if you used that line on an Aussie immigration official today.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4509

Those fucking Australians will use any excuse to stick their fists up an ass.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged