Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

so I got home yesterday to rather horrible news.. my ex husband wrote a letter to my (former) lawyer.. digging for info about my current status.. income.. ect.. and saying that he is moving back to VA in order to be a part of his son's life.. (in reality.. social services finally pinned him down and got him to pay a whole $300 towards child support.. which has provoked him into coming back to fuck with us.) so anyways.. it's all going to be starting again.. he will start suing me and I will spend way too much time and money in court (and he won't even show up).. and that's all he wants.. he doesn't want our son.. he just wants to fuck me up because I had the audacity to actually go after him for support.. he wants me to know that he can beat me..

you think that we have all these laws.. an impressive court system.. based upon "truth" and "people's rights".. and it just fails.. someone stands up and lies so eloquently and they win.. people get completely screwed.. men like my father.. or Dingle.. who take an active part in their child's life are slammed with absolutely rediculous payments.. and then people like my ex can just minipulate the system and not pay anything.. and no one seems to be able to make him.. my bills just keep going up and I lose more work days for court.. and he goes in.. he lies.. and gets away with it every fucking time.

anyways.. I'm scared.. the safe little bubble I had begun to build around my son and myself has been shattered again.. before I go to bed I make sure all the doors are locked.. I check closets and fall asleep with a hard heavy object nearbye.. I have nightmares.. I will spend the weekend going through my extensive, very detailed account of everything regarding him and start building up my case again.. tiny chinks of armor.. tiny bullets this time.. I've decided not to let him throw the first stone.. I'm going to.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7148

you should never have sued him for support.

you don't want people like that in your son's life, let him go his way and you go your way. can't support yourself and your son by yourself? better learn how.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4509

Can't you countersue for legal fees and shit? I thought that was the check to balance out unnecessary litigation.

Of course, adding a couple grand to the amount of money he'll never pay you obviously doesn't help you much. That completely sucks.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
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quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
you should never have sued him for support.

you don't want people like that in your son's life, let him go his way and you go your way. can't support yourself and your son by yourself? better learn how.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
you should never have sued him for support.

you don't want people like that in your son's life, let him go his way and you go your way. can't support yourself and your son by yourself? better learn how.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7148

sorry that we disagree on this, cage. but i've been in this situation before, and i can only assume from your testicles that you've never given birth before.

sabine decided to allow someone to stick it in the moist spot with no protection. she then decided to keep the offspring of the relationship. she knew what kind of person this guy was- people don't suddenly turn into assholes. and she yet again decides to take the course of action she's taking now.

i don't believe that men who don't want any part of a child's life should have to pay for the child. that's fucking ludicrous. ESPECIALLY when the mother wants the father to have nothing to do with the child.

if they were married for five-ten years and something happened in the relationship and they split, it would be a totally different story. but that's not the case, is it sabine?

you can't have your cake and eat it too- you want the money? guess what: you'll have to deal with any aggravation he serves up.

and i for one hope he makes your life a living hell for it.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
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quote:

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Originally posted by Cage
Can't you countersue for legal fees and shit? I thought that was the check to balance out unnecessary litigation.

Of course, adding a couple grand to the amount of money he'll never pay you obviously doesn't help you much. That completely sucks.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19110

Get a restraining order. If he crosses the line, bust him. You really should just plan on fighting back every way you can.
I would go to Legal Aid and see what they will do fo you.

Perhaps a Colorado pissup could be organized once you find out where he is living.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
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quote:

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Originally posted by Sabine
yeah.. that's pretty much the deal..

right now he owes me not only child support since Feb 2002.. but spousal support which was intended to repay the money he stole for me


he stole money from you? why isn't he in jail? did you prosecute him for theft?


AND almost $2000 in legal fees which he agreed to pay.. it's in writing.. the judge has said.. "hey.. pay this." he says "ok." and then goes away.. far away.. while muttering "yeah.. make me."


once again, if you don't want him in your life, forget about it and move on. you have a choice: enforce the court order and get paid, but live with the retaliation, or admit that you have just as much responsibility in his bad behavior for allowing him in your life in the first place and let it go.

he is already so in debt.. (not just to me) that it really doesn't matter to him how much it grows.

sounds like you know him pretty well, yet you still insist upon punishing your child by chasing after him and his wallet.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
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quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
sorry that we disagree on this, cage. ...

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
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sorry that we disagree on this, cage. but i've been in this situation before, and i can only assume from your testicles that you've never given birth before.
although I don't know what your "situation" was regarding your child/spouse/ex/divorce whatever was like.. I am pretty sure that it was in fact nothing like mine.. and Cage actually knows far more about my particular situation than you do.

sabine decided to allow someone to stick it in the moist spot with no protection.
wrong.

she then decided to keep the offspring of the relationship.
correct.

she knew what kind of person this guy was- people don't suddenly turn into assholes.
you have a lot to learn about people.. so did I.. trust me.. he was an eye opener and yeah.. I was a naive optimistic trusting little girl.

and she yet again decides to take the course of action she's taking now.
yet again? my actions now are quite different now actually.

i don't believe that men who don't want any part of a child's life should have to pay for the child. that's fucking ludicrous. ESPECIALLY when the mother wants the father to have nothing to do with the child.
good for you. I happen to think fuck both parents. it's the child's well being that should be the main concern.. and the child in my mind has a right to the monetary support from both parents.. even if it isnt required to cover clothing.. food.. health ect. at the moment.. it should be waiting for them in an account then for their future.

if they were married for five-ten years and something happened in the relationship and they split, it would be a totally different story. but that's not the case, is it sabine?
no.. but you seem to not know wha tthe case is at all either.. and like usual are just walking in and flinging shit around for entertainment.. that's fine. that's what you do and everyone here has gotten quite used to it.. sometimes it's even mildly entertaining.

you can't have your cake and eat it too- you want the money? guess what: you'll have to deal with any aggravation he serves up.
yeah.. regardless of the money.. I have to deal with the aggrivation.. he will always be in the background and can always come into our lives if he wills it and I know it.

and i for one hope he makes your life a living hell for it.
I bet.
and I can only hope that you aren't the bitch in person that you play here.

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Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
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quote:

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Originally posted by morgana
i can only assume from your testicles that you've never given birth before....

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

he stole money from you? why isn't he in jail? did you prosecute him for theft?
yes.. from me.. also a few thousand from his employer.. he was charged with three counts of felony for that.. and is not in jail.. this is a part of my absolute frustration with the workings of our legal system.. although someone does something.. and should be in jail.. they get off.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
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quote:

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Originally posted by Sabine
and Cage actually knows far more about my particular situation than you do.

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 3830

purchase firearm
let the sonuvabitch show up on your doorstep
let him in the door while no one can see
shoot him in the fucking face
if no one saw what happened, well...........
he WAS in your hallway when he died, and the bullet hole is in his front.........

no one will even try to dispute your claims that he forced his way in and you feared for your life.

just sorta a thought. felt it might not be the worst of ideas to put it out there.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
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quote:

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Originally posted by Sabine
[
although I don't know what your "situation" was regarding your child/spouse/ex/divorce whatever was like.. I am pretty sure that it was in fact nothing like mine.. and Cage actually knows far more about my particular situation than you do.


please do enlighten me...but allow me the assumption that you met someone, got married and pregnant (or the opposite order), realized you made a horrendous mistake, and after a messy divorce are hounding your ex for money.

doesn't that sum it up nicely? you can elaborate all you want, but this isn't the first post you've made about your situation.



wrong.


my mistake. elucidate please.


[b]she knew what kind of person this guy was- people don't suddenly turn into assholes.
you have a lot to learn about people.. so did I.. trust me.. he was an eye opener and yeah.. I was a naive optimistic trusting little girl.


so you do take responsibility for allowing him into your life? fantastic.


and she yet again decides to take the course of action she's taking now.
yet again? my actions now are quite different now actually.


they are? so you're not trying to get him to pay you support now?


good for you. I happen to think fuck both parents. it's the child's well being that should be the main concern.. and the child in my mind has a right to the monetary support from both parents.. even if it isnt required to cover clothing.. food.. health ect. at the moment.. it should be waiting for them in an account then for their future.


that goes against everything i just said. please read it again.

if someone makes the mistake of having a child, then yes, both parents should be responsible for the care of the child. if one of the parents decides that they don't want that responsibility and the other decides to hound them for it for the rest of their days:

1. they deserve whatever treatment they get for expecting someone to pay for a mistake they both took part in for the rest of their life.

2. the primary care provider should care more about their child's mental welfare and LET IT GO so that they're not exposed to all of the bitterness involved with you sitting on the phone with your lawyer, or you bitching about it to your friends, or you crying about it late at night or whatever.


no.. but you seem to not know wha tthe case is at all either.. and like usual are just walking in and flinging shit around for entertainment.. that's fine. that's what you do and everyone here has gotten quite used to it.. sometimes it's even mildly entertaining.


we've had discussions about you and this situation before. and the last time we talked about it, i offered to help you, even to find you legal advice, and instead you ignored me to flirt with people in the thread.

do you want me to top it?

if anyone here is looking for entertainment, it's you. you only post this shit to get attention, to get people to feel sorry for you. guess what: i don't.


yeah.. regardless of the money.. I have to deal with the aggrivation.. he will always be in the background and can always come into our lives if he wills it and I know it.


gee...deja vu? this is EXACTLY what i was trying to assist you with before. because i had the same problem with MY ex-husband. but again, you decided it was more fun to openly flirt with the people who entered that thread instead of trying to find an answer to your problem. stop playing the victim.


I bet.
and I can only hope that you aren't the bitch in person that you play here.


if you were half the bitch i am in person, this would have been taken care of legally a year ago.

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4698

quote:

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Originally posted by wonderaz
Get a restraining order. If he crosses the line, bust him. You really should just plan on fighting back every way you can.
I would go to Legal Aid and see what they will do fo you.

Perhaps a Colorado pissup could be organized once you find out where he is living.

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well.. he legally has a right to see his son.. we do have an agreement written up.. although he has broken it I still have to follow it.. anyways.. I don't think I could give enough reason to get a restraining order.
but I am going to fight back this time.. and I'm not going to let a single thing go.
I am talking to a lawyer today.. which I have through a service my company offers.. I pray that that will cover most of any legal/court costs I will accrue.

and CO is the plan
my friend and I had been planning on heading out the end of summer/early fall to relocate there.. now there is the added messiness that depending on how things go in the near future he can say I was "fleeing". (although he moved first.. and is just now moving back.)

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Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:

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Originally posted by Sabine
he stole money from you? why isn't he in jail? did you prosecute him for theft?
yes.. from me.. also a few thousand from his employer.. he was charged with three counts of felony for that.. and is not in jail.. this is a part of my absolute frustration with the workings of our legal system.. although someone does something.. and should be in jail.. they get off.

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Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:

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Originally posted by Cage


So no, I've never borne a child. I was, however, raised by a single mother with a father who still owes several tens of thousands of dollars to her. She did the honorable thing and let him see me and supported the two of us on her own. The weight of doing so ruined her. She didn't deserve that.


i was also raised by a single mother. but my mother decided that screaming and yelling at him on the phone, talking about it with her lawyers and her friends, and walking around the house so tense that if you asked her a question she would explode, was the right thing to do.

because, after all, she did it all for me.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18808

Lemme ask sumthin:

Was it part of the divorce that you would get child support (meaning it was court ordered)?

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