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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

Madrid events

17 May – Arrive 0745. Picked up by Czech and Goatboy at the airport. Introduced to the rest of the crowd shortly thereafter. Crushed Funky’s nads and pierced Cornelius’ anus by way of a greeting. Rested up a bit? What did we do after that? Ah! Went to the Retiro and hung out at the park drinking beer with Chris, Marianna, Andy, Sarah and Smug. Andy and Smug took out boats and rowed a bit on the lake before we hit the bar there at the park.
We came back and dozed a bit before Alexei took us to the disco that night. We went first to the Chueca to hang out while we waited on Alexei and Mark to join us with a couple of birds they knew. The Chueca is a smallish plaza, but very fun and relaxed and full of queens. I had a splitting headache at this point, by the way, and could hardly talk, much less laugh out loud. The others finally showed up, and we headed to the disco on foot. It was a bit of a walk, but very pleasant.
My head was still pounding until we got to the club and I got a bourbon in me. It was a great time with Charlie and all the kids, dancing with Smug and Alexei and Czech and Sarah – especially nice was Czech grinding his nubile little bottom against Wally throughout the night on the dance floor until I was in a frenzy of lust and ready to chew through the dance floor to get at him. That hot little bitch.
Goatboy secured a Morrocan boy named Hassan on my behalf, but even with the international language of love and my good looks I could make no headway with him unless I wanted to buy coke from him. He was strictly business and I was strictly fun and games. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with him anyway, but I played along. I didn’t want Mark to think he’d blown the boy in vain for a phone number.
Most of our group made their way back to the flat earlier in the night, but Mark and Alexei and I stayed until they closed at dawn. We had a catty conversation with a hideous woman at the door of the club (Club Gold?) and then wandered off down the streets on a Sunday morning to find a place that sold hot chocolate. We were stumbling down a small sidestreet near the Plaza Mayor and were surprised by a peacock and two hens. It was a bit surreal. We cornered them in an attempt to capture at least one, but they flew off one by one as we tightened the circle. I said I wanted to wring the neck of one of them, but I doubt I would have. Alexei was waiting for the dwarf to come around the corner making squeaking noises. We finally found the hot chocolate, which was delicious, after witnessing the brave Spanish army conquering the Plaza Mayor, and then made our way home, I think.

18 May – I had only slept for a short time, maybe two or three hours, when Adam offered to lead us children about town to see a few sights. We went to the Plaza Santa Ana and had lunch – for me it was anchovies and cheese on toasted fresh bread and patatas brava with a beer. Andy was in a rather bad way. I seems he had come back to the flat the night before in a blackout and scooped up a large spoonful of moldy lentils that were in a stewpot on the kitchen countertop waiting to be cleaned. We weren’t sure why he did that, as there was loads of good food lying about. I don’t think Andy knew why either, poor guy, but he assuredly paid a heavy price for the carelessness. We saw the plaque marking the geographic center of Spain; it is at the Puerto del Sol with the big Tio Pepe sign at one end. We put Andy and his gurgling legumitude in a cab bound for the flat at this point, as he was unable to continue without covering our next three stops in liquid black love.
The Palacio was closed, but we went down into the garden there and spent some time. I got a picture of Mariana taking a money shot. There are pines and cedars everywhere in Madrid; I wasn’t expecting that, and it made me think of the hill country of Texas in some respects. The climate was similar, certainly. It was warm and dry and breezy and smelled of cedar, and the temper of the people we saw was relaxed and cheerfully hedonistic. We walked back, stopping at a couple of sidewalk cafes along the way for a beer or two.

19 May – Andy and Sara left in the morning. Czech was feeling much better after shitting his ring the day before. Chris, Mariana, Smug and myself went a short distance up the road to a sidewalk cafe and had a few beers and relaxed. I was surprised to find that Smug did not know who Lorca was. I shall remind him of it frequently, and he will brush me aside with some offhand remark.
We returned to the flat to clean up and rest a bit. Mark, Chris, Mariana and I left that evening for the Cuban bar, but ended up in Viva Madrid as our first choice was closed. (There is no rhyme or reason to hours of operation in this most interesting city, and it is a gamble going out if one is not in the rhythm of things. Conversely, there is always something open somewhere).
Viva Madrid serves what I suppose is a Cuban drink called a Mojito, and it’s delicious and goes down very smoothly. I’ve never cared much for rum drinks, but these are really quite good. It’s rum and lime and crushed mint leaves. We made it into the Cuban place the next night, and I noticed that they also put angostura bitters in theirs. Viva Madrid has these paintings hanging here and there that look more like charcoal drawings. I didn’t examine them up close, but the story is that some famous artist made them to pay off a bar tab back in the 20s or 30s.
From the bar’s website at http://www.barvivamadrid.com/

“It´s well know that Madrid nights are very special, unique, and if there is one place that best represents that very specialness and uniqueness it is without any doubt Viva Madrid. Its secret is the incomparable mix of youthful energy and the "know how" of the classics.
Situated in the privileged setting of the "Las Cortes - Santa Ana" area, with the Spanish roots in its centuries old decoration, original zinc bar and hand painted tiles.
Don´t miss the original crafted ceiling, gargoyles included and the Brassai inspired paintings of the 30's. Situated on a pedestrian ally way with terrace and tables well taken care of. Conserving all the "Marcha" that has made it famous the world round.
During the day as well enjoy an aperitif, drawn vermouth, Italian coffees or our special Caipirinhas and Mojitos. Discover our "Alter ego" in this unique, tradicional an beautifully conserved bar?... Pub?... Tavern?... Clasify it yourself, enter in the legend an above all VIVA MADRID.”

I know it was a bit touristy, but it was very pleasant and a good place to come back to, in spite of the drunken Scots the second night, who came to anticipate their loss the following night to the football team in Sevilla.

20 May – Chris and Adam left in the morning, so Mariana had nobody to protect her from Mark and myself. Consequently, she was as safe as if she were surrounded by an infantry square. We spent a good part of the day at the Olivar again just taking it easy and eating out at the bodega around the corner. That night we ate at an interesting seafood place that had some shellfish I’d never seen before and tried bravely.
Back out to Viva Madrid for more laughter and mojitos. The Cuban place was still open this time, so we stopped there first before continuing on to Viva. After Viva Madrid closed at two a.m. we wandered about town until we found a little basement gay joint called “Why Not” and slipped down for drinks and hash and flamenco dancing of a sort put on spontaneously by the patrons. The mood of the place was contagious and carefree, and I really felt welcome. We stumbled home at dawn happily drained and satisfied. This is the only place I’ve ever been where that sort of schedule could be accommodated easily and without much question. I know that work goes on in Madrid; it just rubs elbows and winks with the play that is full-on yet relaxed in its recklessness.

21 May – This was Mariana’s last day in Madrid this trip. Mark and I and Mariana walked through the Retiro and then the Royal Botanical Gardens. We took pictures of the statue of Lucifer being cast out of heaven that sits not far from the rose garden in the Retiro. We walked by the Palacio de Cristal and got a few pictures there and then hung out in a park cafe and had a few beers and relaxed before walking over past the Prado to the Botanical Gardens for a visit.
We got a cab from the Botanical Gardens and headed back to Alexei’s to clean up and head over to the Olivar before Mariana left for the airport for a ten p.m. flight to London. After she left the three of us remaining opted to take it easy and just have some kebab sandwiches and soda pop and try for a decent night’s sleep. This was the first night that I got more than four hours sleep the entire trip. I wised up and left the window shut this time, so the street noise didn’t assault me in the morning. Turned out it was plenty cool enough in the house and I awoke feeling rather rested at the crack of eleven a.m.

22 May – Mark and I slept in and went out for breakfast before walking to his place to start the laundry and see Miles the dog once more. I really like that dog. Leaving his house we went to the Sofia and saw the Guernica and other Picassos, Miro, Dali and an very interesting exhibit of photography from early in the last century.
We left the Sofia and stopped at the train station – a very large building with something of a rain forest inside – and had a beer and tapas and were gratified to see Celtic fans getting on trains and leaving. We headed back to Alexei’s by way of the Castellano drag with all the consular offices and hotels on it. A couple of blocks from the flat we stopped and took a few pics of a British church of St George for Mark’s sake.
I waited at the flat while Mark had his Spanish lesson with some slag that had good looking roommates. He and Alexei showed up about the same time. I’d been lazing about with the memoirs of fray Servando de Mier y Noriega that are really quite interesting. They walked into my hashy haze, and I convinced them that a quiet night on the town was just what we needed to ease us into a restful slumber before my departure. Off we went for the area around Santa Ana again to eat at Lacon. They were closed, so we ate at another place instead and then over to Viva Madrid for mojitos.
A dozen or so mojitos later and we were ready to find another bar. After closing down the second bar we picked up a Mama doll that lay in the gutter; it said something about, “Mama y Papa y blah blah blah....” in Spanish, and it was a nice companion for Mungkay. However, Mark, as is common in paedophilic serial murderers, lost control and tore the fool thing’s head off.
We made it back home and decided that the best thing we could do at that point was head over to the Casa de Campo for a little cultural exchange on my last night – make that my last few hours as it was about 430a.m. now – in town. Mark took a cab and met us down there, hopping on the back of the scooter with Alexei and I when we were a few hundred yards from our goal. As we neared the small campfire the girls had created on the sidewalk, we tumbled from the scooter and slid along the pavement a couple of yards, more startled than hurt, laughing our asses off. These girls were from all over the world, and I found the time we spent there most edifying. Mark was unsuccessfully trying to negotiate his own version of the Gay Handshake out of one girl, while Alexei counseled with another girl from Jamaica about the value of her soul or somesuch nonsense. I paid a girl three euros to stop pestering me and just hung out and giggled.
We looked about at some point and realized that Mark was nowhere to be seen, so we began what proved to be a rather exhilarating ride back. We spent some time going the wrong way on the freeway and then did a bit of off-roading before we finally made it back to Alexei’s place. Truth be told, we were never in any danger.

What can I say about Spain that hasn’t already been stated? I fell in love with it the moment I saw the place, and my feelings only grew fonder the longer I remained. I regret that I saw so little of it, but I was engaged for every moment of the trip, either in reckless hedonism in good company, or just walking and looking and touching and smelling the place. The climate was perfect, though I sweated like a rapist. I didn’t see the bullfights, the Prado or Escorial, nor did I get out of town to Salamanca or Segovia as I had wished. But I couldn’t have asked for a better time than I had last week.

Alexei is a perfect host, and likely more tolerant than most of the people I’ve ever known. He didn’t bat an eye and carried himself with grace and good humor. I was much less than a perfect guest, and never did I hear a word of complaint with him. He overindulged me, and I am spoiled. I am grateful to have made his acquaintance and highly recommend his intimate embraces and hospitality to anyone. His henchman, Mark, was my man Friday, my Sacagawea, my Sherpa and my plaything, and he served me well during my entire stay. Who says you can’t get good help? He also stepped in and provided much needed solace to Mariana once she was left alone. I’ll tell you, thanks to that man, that girl wanted for nothing in the realms of pleasure. I stand amazed at his stamina and sense of duty.

I look forward to coming back, and not in some distant future, but perhaps before the end of the year. And this time I will get out of town a bit, and perhaps see some of those things I missed on this trip, like the bullfights and midget whores so oft and loudly ballyhooed. Until then I’ll just say that I fell in love with Spain, and nobody present did anything but magnify that experience for me. I hope that I did not diminish their time as well.


Hasta

oxox

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-25-2003 07:47 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

when did I get 5000 posts? oh yeah. who gives a fuck.

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-25-2003 07:49 AM
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Fiend
batshit crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10202

That sounded like a lot of fun Mugtoe and thanks for the (perverse) play by play.
I'm guessing but it sounds like you like mojitos?

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Old Post 05-25-2003 10:35 AM
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Smug Git
Arrogance Personified

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35781

Madrid could be the best city anywhere.

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Old Post 05-25-2003 04:27 PM
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funkyrooster
King Leer

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Just to the right of the moon
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I concur. Having been to Madrid, I can't think of many places I'd prefer to live in. Certainly not in the UK or US. I'd move there tomorrow If I had the chance

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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

Great couple of weeks, thanks a lot for coming over. Had a blast.

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Old Post 05-25-2003 06:09 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

I'm looking for Spanish language instruction online. Goatboy said something about some CD ROM he's got that I could get from him. Someone nudge the boy and tell him to send it my way or give me the guy's name, so I can look it up.

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-25-2003 06:09 PM
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Peter_Torque
Grill Instructor

Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
Posts: 4175

quote:
Originally posted by Mugtoe
I'm looking for Spanish language instruction online. ..


I've got just the thing. It's made by a company called "Transparent Language," and is about the coolest thing ever invented for learning languages. (Certainly the coolest thing to come out of Hollis, New Hampshire. That's for sure.)

It's basically a database that you can "plug" different stories, movies, newspaper articles etc. into, and it gives you everything you need to understand that language on one page.

I'll post a screencap of a typical Spanish (newspaper) story; "A Trip To Madrid." (The company can send you the latest books, stories, newspaper articles, videos or whatever.)

You read the story in the big yeller winder. If you highlight a segment of the story, the literal translation appears underneath the big yeller winder in the "Segment Meaning" box. (If it's a story accompanied by video - as most are - the video screen takes up half that "segment meaning" box).

If you click the button, it'll play a native speaker pronouncing either the word, paragraph or the whole damn thing. (Very helpful with pronunciation.)

On the right are the grammar, dictionary and other functions. You use the same matrix for any language, which I didn't know when I ordered three of them. Somebody borrowed one (and still hasn't returned it) for Italian, and I still have the Spanish and French ones.

All I have to do is send you the French one with some Spanish discs and you're in. (You won't be able to tell the difference, the interfaces are identical.)

EDIT- I circumcised the bottom of the screencap so you'd be able to read the words. The "Segment Meaning"/video box is about 4-6 inches tall.

Attachment: trans-lang1.jpg
This has been downloaded 404 time(s).

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Last edited by Peter_Torque on 05-25-2003 at 06:48 PM

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Old Post 05-25-2003 06:43 PM
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slappy
slippery when happy

Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
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I have also fallen in love with Madrid. Cornelius and Goatboy were the best hosts, and considering there were 8 of us, there were no disagreements and no awkwardness. Far from it in fact. ahem.

I think I will definitely have to make my way over there again sometime very soon, and I'd love to have a go at living there at some point in my life.

Thankyou corn for putting up with us all, and thankyou Goat for looking after us.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Old Post 05-26-2003 11:48 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

I put together a little thread of pics with captions for Dad's benefit, since he doesn't know who is who. I figgered I'd link em for the rest of you as well:

Being the pics explained with appropriate commentary

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 07:01 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

About fucking time.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 07:05 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

That last page is priceless.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 07:10 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
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Actually, I fixed it again just a wee bit.

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 09:15 PM
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funkyrooster
King Leer

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Just to the right of the moon
Posts: 3141

Right. can I just say that the rim cheese episode was a reference to a scene in a restaurant in Suffolk when the rather dim waitress, when enquiring from the chef what cheeses were available, was told to offer the customer a choice of Brie, Cheddar, Caemembert or Rim. Hence the priceless shout of "One Rimcheese Salad coming up".

And what do you mean I can be unpleasant?

You bitch

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Old Post 05-26-2003 09:39 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
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Did I say you were unpleasant? I think yer a dreamboat, puddinhead.

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 10:31 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

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I mean, hell, we look like a coupla old dykes in that one.



I think what I was referring to when I said unpleasant was your mastectomy.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 10:42 PM
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CzEcH rEcK
circle of duck

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3049

I thought I was your only one.. Wheres my fucking pistol? I need to snuff the opposition.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 11:01 PM
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Smug Git
Arrogance Personified

Registered: Aug 2001
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Posts: 35781

As soon as you had left, czech, mugtoe was all over funky like flies on shit.

The man is a dawg.

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Old Post 05-26-2003 11:18 PM
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funkyrooster
King Leer

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Just to the right of the moon
Posts: 3141

one thing I can do without. A three way tug of love involving the beer monster and the abominizer.

Czech. When's that lap dancing party?

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Old Post 05-26-2003 11:22 PM
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oxsan
Keeper of the Keys

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Rio de los Brazos de Dios
Posts: 3877

Super Pics Mug, of both the people and the places.

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Don't kick until yer spurred.

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Old Post 05-27-2003 02:36 AM
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Peter_Torque
Grill Instructor

Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
Posts: 4175

What a beautiful place. I'm amazed at all the plants and trees, and how the whole pace seems different. Fuller, somehow. The light looks different there.

I don't know why, but up until I saw those pictures anytime someone said "Spain" I'd have thought of the backdrop for an old Clint movie. (It's that "hero homo" thing you got goin' on, Mug. Too bad you din't bring appropriate headgear, and good thing you didn't borrow Smug's to try to achieve the same effect.)

Sure. You'd think a li