Registered: Jul 2003
Location:
Posts: 1

(it begins)

and now there is nothing
no substance to hold onto
a thin crust
an empty carapace, a shell
shadows and smoke fill the ether
of what was
lost
gathered close and then thrown away
spoiled and rotten

her lips, like bruised fruit
filling my mouth with a sweet syrup
her finger tips on my face
the taste of salt and sweat
a spider's touch of her hair on my skin

I remember her name, but not her face
I recall her words, but not her voice
she wrote music for me once
her fingers played on ivory keys
and notes called my name
to promise me everything she had to give

and I took it all

five years have past
and I'm left hollowed out
I'm left with an itch to scratch
to work at and dig
I use regret to carve into my skin
guilt to scar my flesh
the ruts of my self deprecation cover me
and still I dig
I hurt
and still I dig

(now)

I'm gears and pistons
alone
a collection of cogs and spinning refuse
alone
a construct
self made
alone
forgotten
alone

it wasn't always this way
I was once flesh
I once had meaning
I was filled with dreams
I had hope
friends
lovers
love

but my skin was cut and I would bleed
I replaced it with metal and ink
no more pain
I cut and carved and removed
everything
replaced it all with hard steel
I covered and
replaced it
all with careful precision
nothing missed
no mistakes
no more pain
ever

(and now)

I hover just outside
I catch glimpses
in my peripheral vision
quick snapshots
as I pass by
to be processed
and calculated later
of life
people
flesh and blood
bleeding from cuts
(not me)
covered in the sweet syrup
of each other
(not me)
lost
lost together
(not me)

and I wonder what I have done
I wonder what I have become
I scratch at limbs lost
long ago
I dig at pockets of rust
pretending it's skin
I cut myself
to try to bleed
to feel
something

nothing

no

more

pain

ever

what have I done?


I pick at the husk
the flaking metal
the blistered paint
I try to find
what I have lost
try to recover
what I took
to find
what I have hidden
deep
beneath
under
away
tucked
in a small shadow
a corner
covered and
forgotten


(I'm sorry)

we would drift
sleep to dream
she would breath out
while I would breath in
her life
then mine
then hers again

she would cry sometimes
her tears would slide
no sound
catch on her lips
I would taste
the salt of
my tears
her tears

her hands would trace
the hard lines
contours
my fingers would touch
the soft curves

drifting
to sleep
knowing
to wake
lost
together

I can never take it back
I can never fix the mistake
I can never correct the error
I can never make it right
I can never heal the wound
I can never
be anything more than
what I've made
carefully constructed
built from nothing
for nothing
am nothing
shallow
hollow
empty

(remember)

my eyes dance
a thousand colors
to smash my mind
my child's mind
and I remember
things forgotten
time lost
spaces filled

so much has happened

the path from then to now
has become unclear to me
but my eyes have seen it all
one grand assault after another
every color
every shape
nothing was missed

I want to stare at the sun
burn the tears from my eyes
until I am blind
the fragments washed away
leaving only hot scars
and memories
of better things
forgotten

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3102

Show us your tits.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: LfuckinA
Posts: 3350

oh boy...

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

I think people just do this to taunt me.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

You deserve taunting. I know Dingle will get wood over this.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

tits.


love yer poem. it's so packed with...great stuff



get nekid. we can discuss anything you like later.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Presumably the title should be 'Marvin the paranoid android - an autobiography in verse'?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

There's something distinctly Kuglo-esque to it.

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The pinnacle of Failbot technology.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

Now that's scary. Perhaps we should change the request for tits to chin?

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 3786

that "poetry" brings to mind this: http://www.matazone.co.uk/skippy-the-goth-kangaroo.html

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Baba Kueria
Posts: 3146

that has to be bp taking the piss....

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 2573

Ha they came to share with us...

Foolish noobi shared
The asylum takes to arms
Unforgivable.

Prepare to be ripped to shreds by uncaring asylumites.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

quote:

---

Originally posted by slight
that has to be bp taking the piss....

---

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: here stupid!
Posts: 1907

.............

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Registered: Jul 2003
Location: the 45th Parallel
Posts: 127

I am sooooo glad to not be the new noobie anymore, I love you fecaltaste.
I love you but do not want to bear your children.
And I promise to never call you a twat...

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