Registered: Sep 2001
Location: A Whale's Vagina!
Posts: 1119

So "she" want's to get back together? About 2 months after I left on deployment I broke up with my girlfriend because she had a drug problem. It may sound hypocritical of me but I choose not to be around any of that anymore.

Now while I was gone she found a new boyfreind and was happy. I was happy for her.

1 week before I pull in she tells me she was in the hospital for a pancreitis and that now she can't do drugs or drink "too much". I was like whatever and she kept calling me and saying that she still wanted to "work things out".

She said that she sees her life going downhill where she is at and sees a future with me. She assured me that she is off the drugs and whatnot.

Well while I was on the phone with her the other night she was drinking a beer, I called her a retard and she said that it is okay for her to drink a little because she is on pancreitis medication to make it better. I asked what kind of medication and she says hydro-codone.!?!/? WTF!?! I said she was retarded again and she told me she wouldn't ever do it again and that she didn't know you couldn'tdrink on that stuff.

So here's my dillemma, I am going home this weekend, should I give her a shot. Or should I just call her a retarded whore and never talk to her again?

I am never good at making these decisions and for some reason it always turns out for the worse

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
Posts: 12543

Don't call her a retard and a whore - that will only depress her and just make her more likely to start gobbling drugs to mask the loss of self worth. Tell her you will make no promises, but if she gets into rehab, successfully completes it and stays clean that she may have a good shot at working things out with you. That may be the motivation to clean herself up, even if you don't take her back.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

Hydrocodone is a pain killer, not a pancreatitis medication. She's mixing pain killers with hootch. and she doesn't even likely know what's she's on. The hydrocodone was prescribed because of the pain in her abdomen but is in itself useless for dealing with pancreatitis.

1) I hope she drowns in her own vomit.
2) Don't give it another shot.

If she doesn't have the brains required to get her pain killers and other medications straight, and to not mix them with booze, she isn't worth anybody's time.

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Last edited by SocialParasite on 11-27-2003 at 06:28 AM

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

NO!

Billgerat is right that you shouldn't denigrate her or call her names, but it would be fine for you to respectfully tell her that she shouldn't be doing these things as a way to support her.

But do not, under any circumstances, for any reason, ever, ever, ever even begin to pretend that you might want to maybe consider giving it a go. It will not work out. If she turns up in your life in 5 years and turns out to have turned her life around completely, then *maybe.* But as it stands, you will regret it.

Make it clear to her that you are not going to have a chance together. Be very clear. No wiggle room (don't even mention about how maybe in the future). But tell her that you are not interested in a relationship with her.

You can be her friend and help her out, but act like she is a guy friend with her problems. Don't do anything for her that you wouldn't do for a male.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: A Whale's Vagina!
Posts: 1119

i can't be freinds with her. it was more than just b/f g/f bs. We were in love, well I was anyways. and if I remain freinds with her everytime I see her it will stir up all this unwanted emotion. Plus if the pancreitis made her get off drugs then she is okay, right? maybe it takes almost killing ones self to realize that drugs are bad mmmkay.

plus, I feel that if I do say no and see her in 5 years and what if she is all happy and married and turned her life around and then I don't have that, then I will kick myself in the ass for not giving it a shot 5 years earlier, or something to that effect

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

Looks like you knew what you were going to do before you ever posted this thread.
It also looks like your dick is doing the thinking for you.

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Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2451

Nute's right, don't get back together now. She's obviously not over her problem, she just thinks she is because the effects of drug use will be more serious now that she has this disease. If she had no pancreatitus would she still be using? If the answer is yes (which it sounds like) stay away.

She needs to fix herself up for her own sake, if you give it a go now the whole weird emotional dependancy thing may end up preventing her from being able to do that which will fuck things up down the road (I'm never sure how, but it will). This is why (imho) you should NOT get with this fem, but as Nute said if you run into a year or 2 or more and she's genuinely cleaned up it should be okay.

Run Forest Run!

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

You asked for advice, you got it. Going with this girl is asking for trouble. You said yourself that when you make decisions like this yourself they turn out for the worse. I'm telling you that you need to drop this girl like a hot rock. Avoid her like the plague.

You may have had good times in the past, but those are over. You will not regret ditching her, I guarantee it. She isn't going to be successfully and healthy in 5 years. Even though almost dying can help some people, pancreatitis isn't fatal and even if it was, she didn't learn a fucking thing. THINK, MAN!!

(I can't fucking believe you played my 'in five years' line the way you did. You aren't supposed to say that to her because she'll do exactly what you fucking did and pretend that 5 years is tomorrow and is a good thing.)

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

and as far as thinking with yer dick, I doubt even horizon's dick is this stupid. I've cut the H-man a lot of slack around here, but this is just asking too much. Pull your head out, man, we are trying to help you here.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: All over the place
Posts: 2803

Sorry chief, she sounds like a car wreck. Move on as gently as you can.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

If this woman has drank and drugged enough to give herself pancreatitis, run, don't walk. WTF are you looking for in a relationship if you fall in love with someone who is so damaged and self-destructive? Falling in love is not something you have no control over. You feed it and it grows. It is an act of the will, whether people believe that or not. It just usually happens in concert with an act of the hormones, and that is how you get rationalizations like the ones going through your head right now.

Remember: the capacity of the human mind for self-deception is limitless. You are trying to talk yourself into getting back into a relationship with an active alcolholic and drug addict. Speaking as a long-time alcoholic and drug addict, you are fuckin nuts, and I think you know better.

Loneliness is a lousy reason to rekindle a relationship with damaged goods. If she doesn't stop, she will be dead or irrevocably fucked up in no time. You are talking about the woman you want to mother your children, and you are picking the last person you should leave alone with them, or pregnant with them. She needs help, and not your help. She is calling you because her life is falling apart and she needs help. But SHE'S NOT CALLING YOU FOR HELP, DIPSHIT, AND YOU AREN'T QUALIFIED TO HELP HER ANYWAY. When did you get your LCDC license? She's calling you because she thinks you'll "fix" her, and because she's lonely. Tell me something. Why didn't it work out with the other boyfriend? I don't mean what are her reasons.

You are not talking to a woman; you are talking to a disease that is the master rationalizer. She already has you beat, because you fell for it enough to ask a buttload of strangers to approve the rationalization you have in yer head. Like Nute said, you had yer mind made up before you posted this.

Yer not THAT ugly, kid. Get another girl. In fact, if you can't be "guy" friends with this girl, don't even return her calls. I'll tell you something else too, and this is the truth: the more contact you have with her right now is the less chance you give her to get help. She is using you as a prop to keep killing herself incrementally on the installment plan. If you go along with it, then you care more about curing your loneliness and horniness than you do about whether she lives or dies. Sound harsh? Pity. She's dyin and yer helpin her by playin along. YOU love her? STop taking her calls. Do something that will help her and hurt you. Care more about whether she lives or dies than whether you ever see her again. YOu are the LAST person at this point who can help her, because YOU are the person she picked. If you call her at all at this point, tell her not to call you anymore and to get help. If you do anything else, it's about you not her, and this is about what you want for YOU.

Thanks for sharing.

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Just to the right of the moon
Posts: 3141

Women are OK, but they're not as good as the real thing.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

Hear hear!

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 9140

If ya wanna help her get some numbers she can call for detox and impartial advice. Better yet see if you can get someone qualified to agree a meeting with her. Other than that keep this one at continental arms length.

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 13002

I'd buy her some smack and silver foil, that will help her out.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

quote:

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Originally posted by Phil
I'd buy her some smack and silver foil, that will help her out.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3102

The fact that you consider her to be a retarded whore really does answer your own question.

She seems to think that getting back together with you will make her life better. She really should consider trying to make her own life better rather than depending on others like yourself to do it for her.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

Tell her to join the Service. It did you some good. At least your judgment improved to the point where you'll check your stuff with other people first. I don't know what checking with us means, but it's better than bein alone in that bad neighborhood that is your mind.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: A Whale's Vagina!
Posts: 1119

thanks guys. I think I'm going to have to listen to the crowd this time. I will go home and tell her it won't work out and leave it at that. I honestly appreciate the help here.

Plus I feel that getting a whole bunch of opinions from total strangers is worth more than one opinion (which may be biased) from a buddy.

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Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
Posts: 4175

Listen to Uncle Mug, he knows what he's talking about. (Just don't sit on his lap for the "snake and donut game.)

You're not going to change her. Face it, she's never going to feel the same way about you as you do about her. Stop trying. That's why she's self-medicating. Tell her to fuck off.

Mixing codeine and alcohol won't hurt you much. Mixing TYLENOL (or Paracetamol, as it's known in Britain) and alcohol can kill you. (Here's 19,000+ sites that agree on that.)

From The Straight Dope:

"...The real problem with drugs like Tylenol is that the difference between a therapeutic (that is, medically effective) dose and a toxic one is surprisingly small. In adults the maximum safe dosage is four grams (eight 500-milligram tablets) over a 24-hour period. The toxic dose is a mere seven grams taken all at once..."

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

quote:

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Originally posted by slappy
consider her to be a retarded whore

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

14 Tylenol at once is all it takes? Good to know.

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 2573

quote:

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Originally posted by HoRiZoN
*snip*

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Last edited by MstrG on 11-27-2003 at 11:05 PM

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