Registered: Jul 2000
Location: salmon city
Posts: 1407

I wrote a letter to a moose
and asked for some cash,
the moose went to the toilet
and farted on my request for cash
moose denial!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: on the move
Posts: 1266

I was once walking along civic center in san francisco and a homless junky asked for quarters to use the public toilet on the corner across from 7th and market .. I just walked away.

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: zanzibar
Posts: 10438

Its because of things like that that others defecate on the street. (Stingy mooses, I mean)

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: on the move
Posts: 1266

actually .. they crap in the street pretty regularly around SF, too. the greatest was when I got to see a homeless woman drop sweatpants and squirt her foulness all over the steps of city hall .. and that's why if you walk down the street on any given morning you'll see many a shop owner out on the sidewalk with a hose in hand...

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16170

a moose is a moose
not a mouse or a goose
and everyone loves a moose if it's loose

Amen.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6597

Thankfully the local bums do not drop a deuce on the steps of where I live. I think there are too many "rich college kids" in my building, otherwise they may not think twice about it.

I love how us college kids are rich. Really. Now where is this money that makes me rich....

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35572

Yes, nothing is scarier than fat spoilt college kids to smack-addicted bums.

I see your point about 'rich', though. Most of the students I knew were poor.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6597

They aren't afraid of us, they just want our money. Which if I had any, I would not be driving around a '95 Neon, nor would I be living on the edge of the cultural mecca that Hartford is. I learned that if they have JD aftershave on them it's best to give them some money, otherwise you just keep on walking.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9454

I don't get why the aftershave matters. Is it the brand that is popular with you?

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6597

If you're not joking, JD aftershave is referring to Jack Daniels. Y'know, a little too much to drink, he's homeless, and he wants his Royal Crown Fried Chicken. Scary, man, scary.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Nov 2003
Location: SE Pennsylvania
Posts: 387

I once saw a hideous bum in a very upscale Mall who was extremely out of place. He had made a nest in a large indoor planting amidst the trees and wide leafed plants. Apparently security hadn't caught on to him yet but he was throwing quite a fit and very spastic. He was speaking in tongues and well into quite a rant of biblical proportions about the human condition. I could only make out bits and peices of what he said but I watched him and listened for close to 30 minutes in utter fascination with this most vile excuse for a man. I laughed, I pondered and I even threw loose change to him(which is quite out of character for me) and it certainly seemed to encourage his fervor.There was only one completely coherent sentence actually a question he would ask of people passing by and he would run after them screaming this question which has stuck with me all these years......."Can you imagine, CHOKING your chicken out of a pure HATRED for chickens?!"

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19581

"My high school bus driver once told me, 'One good thing the lord made, was water.'"

Moose, moose, I like a moose
Never had anything quite like a moose
I've had many woman and my morals are loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose

-m

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: May 2003
Location: N. Texas
Posts: 3384

Willie McGraw had a horse named moose
Shot in a card game cause he had a fifth duece
Arrested for murder but somehow got loose
When the law catches up he'll swing from a noose

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 6374

The moose went fishing,
the fish was too big and strong
so the fish ate him.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16691

Magical melons in onion cars
Come to take us all to the stars
Teary eyed we fly away to a place forever day
Where moose and man dance intertwined …oh my god that’s fucked up.

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

taste the fucking rainbow

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged