Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 365

What is the weirdest sexual situation you have ever found yourself in? Preferably where the scene was outside of something you were willing to do. IE what's over the top for you that has actually happened?

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: south afrika
Posts: 16487

quote:

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Originally posted by BlueOx
What is the weirdest sexual situation you have ever found yourself in?

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6562

Normally people do not simply find themselves in a sexual situation, they create it.

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: south afrika
Posts: 16487

quote:

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Originally posted by Vegas
Normally people do not simply find themselves in a sexual situation, they create it.

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Registered: Dec 2003
Location:
Posts: 43

quote:

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Originally posted by Vegas
Normally people do not simply find themselves in a sexual situation, they create it.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

The last time I had sex was in a mental asylum, if that counts.

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location: armpit, wv
Posts: 1217

quote:

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Originally posted by BlueOx
What is the weirdest sexual situation you have ever found yourself in? Preferably where the scene was outside of something you were willing to do. IE what's over the top for you that has actually happened?

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Registered: Mar 2002
Location: Mountains
Posts: 4689

sitting between two ex lovers.. both starting to feel me up.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

quote:

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Originally posted by BadNews
Isn't the male the one who usually creates it? Or is it in partial to the female, of whom cakes her face in make up, provoking the male to make sexual advances?

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

I got thrown out of a rehab in Denver in 1987 for fuckin a girl, Monica Mazuka I think her name was, in the bathroom. She confessed our filth in community meeting two days later, and they had me on a plane home that afternoon. She was pretty hot, actually. She was in for an eating disorder, but she was an aerobics instructor. She ate so much that most got through in spite of the fact that she was doin her best to puke it up. They were so proud of her for confessing my dirty little nasties. They wised up a couple of weeks later when the plumber had to come out and snake out the thirty feet of clogged sewer line leading from her commode where she'd been pukin all the food she'd snuck outta the cafeteria - the bitch. She had good pussy, however, and she kept callin me for months afterwards. That really crossed a line with me though. Tattlin like that.

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 348

You cannot qualify war in harsher terms than I will. War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it; and those who brought war into our country deserve all the curses and maledictions a people can pour out. -Mugtoe

I like that. It's deep.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

That's the weirdest?

I'm kind of disappointed in that, Mugtoe.

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Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

Well it just so happens you all caught me in another one of my good ol' storytellin' moods. (Oh God....)

I had just made a 1 month hitchhiking journey from Toronto to Victoria BC- when I arrived there I was broke but managed to find work shaving bricks on a construction site for Dale's Salvage. Being homeless at the time, I came across a 22 year old ex-hooker blonde who hung around the soup kitchen there- she happened to be well learned in witchcraft and a compulsive liar to boot. So I guess that despite the fact she told me a lot of interesting stories, I can't really tell you anything about her because it was all BS that I heard. Except that she had a hot set of tits and long blond hair- a dream come true as far as I was concerned.

One night we were getting stoned and feeling each other up at her apt. (she let me sleep there some nights- maybe out of pity but oh well)- then we laid down and she goes "fuck me buddy I'm high" and I'm like "YES!" but then who barges in the door but her "ex" ex-hulking military man who ain't down with me and her and me one bit no siree.

So I get up and say "sir, how's it goin?" (shittin my pants meanwhile)- and oddly enough he just sat down on the couch beside us in a drunken stupor (he just came home from the bar) and says "So what are you kids up to tonight?"

Now here I am standing up with my heart thumping feeling very nervous to say the least, she's sprawled all over the floor, mostly naked and horny wet, and he's just casually sitting on the couch making some everyday conversation like nothing much is happening.

So I did my best to calm down and I sat down beside him as cooly as I could and said "Well, uhhh, we were just talking about life here in Vic, you know."-while she was still wet and naked on the floor in front of us and starts talking to Tom (her ex) while I'm feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

Well to put it simply, I blurted out that I wanted to go and listen to the birds or something and with my usual cocky pretentiousness, rapidly squirmed my way to the door, yanked it open, and bolted like the wind, never to return.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Dublin, California
Posts: 3186

weirdest?

i guess almost getting in a threesome until the girl started to cry and freak out.

that was FUN!

she was an idiot though so...better off

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

quote:

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Originally posted by Caffeine
That's the weirdest?

I'm kind of disappointed in that, Mugtoe.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

I figured this would be your sort of thread, Mugtoe.

Kayla, are you referring to Dana?

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 4678

quote:

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Originally posted by Caffeine
That's the weirdest?

I'm kind of disappointed in that, Mugtoe.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

And here come the points.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

Fuckin a chick is NOT out in left field for me. It's only rarer because I don't chase it. I still get more'n you.

How bout when the married guy's wife brought him to my house and asked me to take him in, because her parents couldn't stand him and she knew he and I had a relationship goin on? I told her to get lost. He was out in the car at the time.

How bout the kid who was lickin my armpits out in the parkin lot at the coffeehouse in Dallas and then asked me to shit on him as he was lickin my ass? I won't go further with that one, but I wouldn't kiss that bitch goodnight after that. I didn't know who might've complied already.

And have you read "Lactating crackwhore"?

http://spreadeagleranch.com/lactating_crackwhore.htm

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THAT'S the mugtoe I know.

And here come the points.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

Farm to Market








We drove balls to the wall at night in his old pickup that feels like it's coming apart presently. He was in socks and there was no pedal on the foot-feed, and we got up to 130mph in some places. He tossed the baby-seat in the back before we took off so there was more room. We used to mess around sometimes, and there's that unspoken thing between us. But I wasn't after that, really. He's a buddy of mine, and his family are my friends. He tried to scare me with the speed and the carelessness of it all. He took one dogleg way too fast and I was nearly on top of him. He was sweaty and musty and he was wearing nothing but shorts, and I could smell him as the motion of the truck put my head almost in his lap.

We stopped at the end of his driveway when we got back. He put his back to the driver's door and hiked one leg up and faced me. I ran my hand lightly up and down his leg. I could barely see him, but I already know every inch of his body. He'd been drinking beer, and I could tell that he was wanting more than just conversation. He pulled his shorts off and just sat there naked except for his socks while we talked and I sweated. My head was pounding for some reason. There are moments like that with him sometimes, and I'd sell my soul to just lick the sweat off of his body. He's shorter than me with a thick tangle of sandy brown hair on his head and some stubble on his chin. He's always been hard as stone with little fat on him anywhere, but in the last couple of years he's acquired a little extra flesh and a more relaxed disposition. His back is heavily muscled, but his stomach is softer and less severe than in the past. Everything about him is less severe. The one blind eye that used to make him look menacing now lends him an air of humor in his expression. And he is much more laid back, as he gets older, about time spent together.

The hair on his legs is rather coarse. His torso is smooth except for a thick dark line of fur moving south from his navel into the bush around his cock, which at that moment was stiff to the touch and lightly pulsing. There is something eternal about the instant of that contact. Everything else is a denouement from the moment when I brush against his cock with my heart pounding and my breath shallow and the sweat dripping off of my face. There is a rush as well when it swells to completion and he moans and tenses his body, but it is only an echo of that first contact.

He'd worked all day in the parts store. The mild smell of sweat stirred with solvent and all the other chemicals and substance that go together to make up a guy that works for a living enveloped my nose and eyes as I slid down over the satin shaft of his cock, tight as a drum head, and rolled it in the velvet of my tongue slowly and with purpose. I know he loved this bit we did from time to time where he let go and let me have my way. He was floating on a moment, buoyed at the point where his cock slid in and out of my mouth and my arms encircled the small of his back to pull him tight. His thighs tensed against my chest, I buried my face into the mound of coarse, dark hair and pushed the head of his dick into my throat and held for long moments while his fingers grabbed into my shoulders roughly.

We didn't say much. A mutter here and there or contented sigh, but seldom a sentence. I rolled up and down his cock with my lips and tongue, and he responded rhythmically with his hips and pressed into me wanting always just a bit more. His hands worked back and forth now across my shoulders, kneading then caressing, then taking his cock in one hand and working just below my lips in synchronous strokes as my spit flowed down over his fist and my tongue rolled round and round the head of his dick and across the hole that gave a steady taste of pre-cum into my mouth. I was dripping sweat all over his bush.

His belly began to tense in time with the thrust of his pelvis and tightening of his muscular thighs. I took his cock into my throat for a few more strokes and then held it in my mouth and milked it as it pulsed hot cum from deep within him and his fingers bit into my shoulders and he moaned lowly. He came for a long time; I swallowed twice and then began sucking slowly again. I could feel him relax and tremble a bit as I licked the tender head. His cock was still hard, but I knew he needed to piss. He always did right after he came. I kept him in my mouth and pushed his hand away when he tried to raise himself up. Tentatively at first, and then in a steady, growing stream he let himself go, and I drank deep and long and took every bit of him inside of me. I knew he was a little startled, but also a little exhilarated.

We lingered for a quarter of an hour more until his wife called him on his cell phone to hasten our return back down the driveway.

We pulled up next to his trailer alongside the pens where he keeps his gamecocks. We got out of the truck and he stopped to take another piss. I passed my hand through the warm stream and licked my fingers and said goodnight. He picked up the sweating twelve-pack from the grass and went inside to his wife and kids. I took the long way home and beat off while I drove. I was going seventy down gravel roads and losing control here and there, but it wasn't the same rush. Busting a nut in the cold blast of the air-conditioned car only gave me a headache. But at least I could go home and get some sleep now without being distracted all night by the feel of his skin and the taste of my fingertips wet with his piss.

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That's My Mugtoe.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17889

B.O.G.G.S.





Dean Boggs. “Boy On Good-Good Shit,” he called it, pointing to the jailhouse tat on his arm that said just that – B.O.G.G.S. – in a childlike lettering. I didn’t care. I had been wired and drunk for days and had picked him up at the ten p.m. candlelight AA meeting to see if he wanted to have a three-way with me and Sadie. I knew he was up for getting wired and was probably only at the meeting for one of four things: free meal and some coffee, the chance at some pussy, a signature for his PO, or the off chance that somebody else was there for the same purposes and had some dope. Any combination of those would do, and I could offer them all, so we hooked up and headed to my house before the meeting ended. I knew Sadie was coming over shortly, and I wanted to hang with him first and get acquainted.

I gave him a beer and asked him if he wanted to get high. He looked down like he was deep in thought and giggled a bit and said sure. He giggled like that a lot. It wasn’t particularly annoying; it was low and quick, like a kick-start for his speech. Once that flywheel engaged, he’d rattle off his words quickly and abruptly fall silent. I was quite charmed, really. I asked him if he wanted some pussy, and he got this childlike grin on his face and looked at me like I’d offered him a shiny new toy.

“She good lookin?”

“It’s Sadie from the meetin. The blonde gir...”

“Oh yeah. You bet I’ll fuck her.”

“Well, it’ll be you and me both fuckin her.”

“Suits me. Hell, ere’s more’n one way at it.” The pace of his words had quickened a bit. I reached under my armchair and pulled out the little tray with the dope on it and offered him a line. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on this boy, and he was fine as frog hair with a mop of brown hair and brown eyes and big pretty lips. He did a healthy line, and I prepared him another, which he dispatched just as quickly. I did one myself and took a long pull off my beer before speaking.

“It don’t bother you that I’m queer, does it?”

“Long as you ain’t tryin to fuck me, is all the same. You ain’t gonna be tryin to get me to do anything too funny are ya?” His giggle trailed off on that one a bit.

“Nah. It ain’t like that. Sadie’ll wanna have us both fuck her’n she’ll wanna watch me suck yer dick, I reckon. But you don’t have to do nothin to me. I’m teachin her a few things, she says.” I pushed the tray his way across the little table. I noticed his hands tremble a bit, and I couldn’t help giggling a bit myself.

“Don’t sweat it, boy. I ain’t lookin to hook up with you like that. I’m just a heathen’n this bitch thinks she needs another guy here to get me to fuck her. I’d fuck her anyway, for that matter. Yer just gravy. More the merrier, I guess. ‘sides, I’m harder’n Chinese arithmetic’n I’d eat you up, Dean.”

“I c’n handle that,” he stumbled out, looking at the floor. “You sure that’s all you wanna do?”

“I guarantee you’ll have a good time once Sadie gets here, boy. We’ll get our heads right. She’ll be pullin up in a few. Show me yer dick.”

He jumped a bit, “Damn, you don’t waste much time.”

“We’re all gonna be fuckin in a bit, anyway. Ain’t nobody here but you’n me, Dean. Chill out’n lemme see it. If you wanna fuck Sadie, yer gonna have to let her watch me eat you up, anyway. You might as well get used to that. Those are her rules, not mine.”

This is where I got to play the reasonable guy just trying to help out a friend and get him laid. I’ve always lived a life of service. Dean hesitated a moment, only a moment, and then undid his pants and pulled them down passed his knees to reveal a passable instrument that I instantly devoured, much to his initial bewilderment and growing encouragement. I had my arms around behind his ass in no time and was working him over pretty well. He was no real chore, and I was pretty wired up in any case.

“Lord, goddamn, Mug.”

He was beginning to writhe and buck a bit when the door shuddered and Sadie burst in carrying a twelve-pack of some generic looking swill and pushing those high-beams through her t-shirt. I raised up as Dean frantically tried to pull up his pants; I stiff-armed him back into the chair.

“Lock the door, hon. Put that nasty beer down and get undressed and get over here’n help me prime the pump on this heathen.”

I had barely gotten started on a good rhythm again when she appeared at my side, nudging me aside at the trough to get to the goodies. Dean had obviously adjusted quite nicely to the situation by this time and shook himself out of his shoes and pants without ever once displacing Sadie or me in our alternating attentions. We got him on the floor, and I was up turning off lights and throwing off clothes as I went, locking doors and drawing blinds.

I returned to find them doing that kissing bit that I find so objectionable between men and women – I’m really old fashioned in my thinking about people sticking to their own kind when it comes to that kind of intimacy. I bodily lifted Sadie and scooted her around so that her snatch was where my cock was aching to be, poised over those thick, full lips of his with that baby-soft dark moustache lining the upper rim around that warm, wet satin that fairly cried out for a shafting.

There is a special place in Hell for guys like me, I’m sure, but I’ve never held a gun to anyone’s head in my life when it came to gettin naked with this fatboy and gettin it on. I just seem to corrupt them to their natural essence, and then they tend to blossom in it on their own. Some of them really surprise me in their blossoming. I almost feel guilty sometimes – not very often though. It ain’t like I really ever turned out any of those straight guys. I just invited them along for the ride. Most of them jumped a