Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 4678

When yer young, everything is in potentia.
Everyone remembers "waiting for their life to begin."

When I was a kid it was..."once high school is done."
Then I went to college, which was just a fantasyland in many ways, and it was "When I graduate and get a real job..."
Then I dropped out and it was "When I can get over this hump and graduate etc."
Then I joined the military...and it was "When this is over and done with I can go back to school and..."

Now I'm looking at this other career option and it would pretty much preclude college and the track I thought my life was going to take seven years ago.

Some people (zim) have said I should live more in the moment...I don't even know what that means.

Sigh.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

In golfing terms, it would mean "just play one shot at a time."

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

.......for tomorrow you could get run over by a golf cart.

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6561

You have allowed the outside to dictate your life. You have chosen to react instead of dictating your path and making others react. The more you react to things, the more things will fly at you. Jump, grasshopper, JUMP!

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Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

I empathize with squee somewhat. Since you are going through doubts and lost of self reflection, maybe its time to fuck the military and do something else. I find the concept of having any lifelong identity depressing, since one wonders if that is all he/she will ever amount to. This career option seems to be capping your life with a sense of fatalism, rather than inspiring the sense of wonder and advanture and discovery of before. My guess is it wouldn't make you happy because it would be satisfying only one aspect of your nature, and the money thing just gets silly after awhile, especially if that comes to be the main motivator.

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location: armpit, wv
Posts: 1217

Its all in finding that balance between what you wanna do and what you have to do.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

I think the bottom line is this: No matter what anyone does, most people would rather be doing something else!

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Registered: May 2002
Location:
Posts: 8648

also, i think squee needs his own 'psychic hotline' forum or something. cause this whole thing passed ridiculous long ago.

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Registered: Jan 2003
Location: mediocre apartment
Posts: 2614

You sound like one of those people, like me, who are never really happy with our place in life. Through high-school I looked forward to college, and in college I've looked forward to graduating. Thing is, I've gotten trapped in it. I've convinced myself that without a degree, I will have failed. So I have to fulfill this goal, this goal that I imposed upon myself largely based upon the expectations of my family and my friends. As I've progressed through 5 interminable years of college, I've thought again and again about how I would really enjoy some blue collar job. To have some skill. I would much rather be an auto mechanic than a teacher. So I'm in college, but not happy with it. Trapped there.

The reason I say this is to illustrate the point that your goals shift over time, as you learn yourself better. Don't be afraid to start something new, completely different. Even if you have invested a ton of time and energy into one thing, life is long and life is there to be lived. Don't be afraid to change your mind. It is rare that a change in paths will lose any headway you already made down others; you can usually resume in some form or another. Don't be a pussy, like me, and be afraid of drastic change. I wish I had the balls to set off on new, more fun but less comfortable track.

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Registered: Dec 2003
Location:
Posts: 43

I thought it was "living IN the moment"
living for anything is a stupid idea regardless.

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Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

And I thought "living in the moment" was the sort of thing that cats and dogs do.

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Registered: Dec 2003
Location:
Posts: 43

Better than living for cat & dogs.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: East Texas
Posts: 328

sad truth:

some people excell in the service of others but have a terrible time doing anything to benefit themselves

please feel free to argue "service" and "benefit" until the leprechauns bring you your pot`o`gold

meanwhile, some ppl will go through life working hard to earn and keep the houses, cars, travel, education, family, etc that they decide to pursue

and others will just NOT be happy while these things as rewards for their work

some ppl are very satisfied to count much smaller things as their personal accomplishments and accept that the things they create and maintain are pieces of something bigger.

yeah, I know what that sounds like, but it's true

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 4678

willimo, y'know...once I decided not to go back to college (when I enlisted) it was very liberating. I haven't felt that good in a while.

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