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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823
This could be my last thread.

I may be dead soon.
Yesterday was Little Al's 13th birthday. We went down to Phoenix and played paintball all day. That is such a cool thing to do but...
I am trashed. I have come to the conclusion that running about, flinging myself on the ground, crawling at top speed and rolling around in the dirt is something that one should work themselves into slowly.

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Old Post 02-08-2004 06:44 PM
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SocialParasite
100% pure failtanium.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18490

Or do when their body isn't held together by duct tape, beer, and old man muscles.

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The pinnacle of Failbot technology.

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Old Post 02-08-2004 06:47 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

His body is so old, it's already been buried!

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Old Post 02-08-2004 06:48 PM
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RatRed
LawnTerrorist

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 74

You mean all that training with the "gondola" doesn't keep you in shape?

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Old Post 02-08-2004 06:53 PM
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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
His body is so old, it's already been buried!


But three days later...

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Old Post 02-08-2004 06:57 PM
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RiZZ
awsomeness incarnit

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9120

poor old pepole

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Old Post 02-08-2004 07:07 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

quote:
Originally posted by wonderaz
But three days later...

The mummy returns!

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Old Post 02-08-2004 07:10 PM
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madlucas
tv casualty

Registered: Nov 2001
Location: on the move
Posts: 1266

what are you guys playing? doing the rec-ball thing or playing on some sort of speedball field?

I wear all sorts of bandages, braces, and shit now .. the last time I really played (we play speedball on a sup-air field) I mamanged to pull something and spent three weeks limping around like a gimp with a load of shit in his pants...

fun stuff .. honest.

real guns are cheaper, and probably safer.

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Old Post 02-08-2004 07:16 PM
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Vegas
Vote Long for President

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6561

Maybe you should spend more of your time being active and less time trying to break a leg flying balloons.

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"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

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Old Post 02-08-2004 07:41 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

quote:
Originally posted by Vegas
Maybe you should spend more of your time being active and less time trying to break a leg flying balloons.

Naaah. He's just hopin' y'all will take pity 'n' start offerin' t'send him checks 'n' money orders.

Amen.

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Old Post 02-08-2004 10:07 PM
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Vegas
Vote Long for President

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6561

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Naaah. He's just hopin' y'all will take pity 'n' start offerin' t'send him checks 'n' money orders.

Amen.


Why, did he ruin his favorite red brassiere?

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"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

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Old Post 02-08-2004 11:44 PM
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Nutrimentia
plata o plomo

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

quote:
Originally posted by Vegas
Maybe you should spend more of your time being active and less time trying to break a leg flying balloons.


No, no, he has ice hockey reserved for the leg breaking activity. Ballooning is where he shows off by flying into freak windstorms and landing safely in front of the newspaper editor's house so he can get his name in print.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 12:16 AM
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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

quote:
Originally posted by MadLucas
what are you guys playing? doing the rec-ball thing or playing on some sort of speedball field?

I wear all sorts of bandages, braces, and shit now .. the last time I really played (we play speedball on a sup-air field) I mamanged to pull something and spent three weeks limping around like a gimp with a load of shit in his pants...

fun stuff .. honest.

real guns are cheaper, and probably safer.


Ahhh a little nap...

The setup was way outside of the city out in the desert. They had 5 or 6 gaming areas with slightly different layouts and each field was themed to allow for a variety of play actions between the teams (capture the flag, total war, etc).
There was probably 120 people playing but there was little or no wait time to get in a game.
It cost me about a hundred twenty for the three of us but the equipment was good and the fields were well laid out.
I think what killed me was that I prefered the capture games, more strategy and teamwork required, and the problem with that was the fields are larger requiring a lot more racing about to win the game.
I learned faster on those fields though because all the hardcore paintballers seemed to prefer that sort of play.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 01:59 AM
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Vegas
Vote Long for President

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6561

See? He's avoiding our comments. Wonderaz, you stoop lower than Lee!

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"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

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Old Post 02-09-2004 02:40 AM
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3MTA3
Same Tired Monkey

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: I cant say I buy this completely,
Posts: 2506

Is it like a rule that this place must turn gayer than gay on sunday nights?

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Old Post 02-09-2004 02:47 AM
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Vegas
Vote Long for President

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6561

quote:
Originally posted by 3MTA3
Is it like a rule that this place must turn gayer than gay on sunday nights?


It's the after effects of too many guys playing strip poker online and somehow losing to the wimmens every time. Do not worry, since we no longer do that it will only take another five years to completely undo the homosexuality of those events.

__________________
"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." - Albert Einstein

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Old Post 02-09-2004 02:52 AM
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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

Shut the Fuck up, 3MTA3. This is my whiney thread.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 03:55 AM
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zim
-

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 3063

mmm paintball.
semi or pump?

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Last edited by CHiPsJr on 11-09-2006 at 08:23 AM

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Old Post 02-09-2004 05:06 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

quote:
Originally posted by Vegas
Why, did he ruin his favorite red brassiere?

I doubt it, Vegas. Someday, I'll tell y'all the story 'bout his short-lived stint with th'Salvation Army. I mean, just picture this -- Smelly, unkempt, derelict lookin', fossilized sumbitch standin' outside a WalMart, wearin' a threadbare Santa cap 'n' a semi-matchin' crusty red brassiere, higher'n a kite on Christmas peyote, money kettle by his side 'n' clangin' that damn ding-dong bell like there wuz no tomorrow, all th'while shakin' down small children 'n' old wimmin 'fore he'd let 'em pass into th'store. . . .

Yeah, he got ten days in th'pokey fer that one.

Amen.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 06:11 AM
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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18823

quote:
Originally posted by ZiM
mmm paintball.
semi or pump?


CO2 although some used nitrogen.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 06:15 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
I doubt it, Vegas. Someday, I'll tell y'all the story 'bout his short-lived stint with th'Salvation Army. I mean, just picture this -- Smelly, unkempt, derelict lookin', fossilized sumbitch standin' outside a WalMart, wearin' a threadbare Santa cap 'n' a semi-matchin' crusty red brassiere, higher'n a kite on Christmas peyote, money kettle by his side 'n' clangin' that damn ding-dong bell like there wuz no tomorrow, all th'while shakin' down small children 'n' old wimmin 'fore he'd let 'em pass into th'store. . . .

Yeah, he got ten days in th'pokey fer that one.

Amen.

When you walked by, did he ask you to sit in his lap?

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Old Post 02-09-2004 06:33 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16165

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
When you walked by, did he ask you to sit in his lap?

Oh no. I used the other entrance to the store. Steered clear of th'jackass that day. I wuzn't about t'spend Christmas in jail.

Have y'ever heard one o' them Salvation Army soldiers yell stuff like, "OH WOW! ONE WHOLE MEASLEY DOLLAR?!! YOU TIGHT-ASSED, HOG-HEADED MOTHER******! FORK IT OVER NOW, OR I'LL STOMP TH'EVER LUVIN' . . . ."

You get the picture. Caused quite a disturbance, I must say.

Amen.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 06:51 AM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

I am so blue.

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Old Post 02-09-2004 06:54 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Oh no. I used the other entrance to the store. Steered clear of th'jackass that day. I wuzn't about t'spend Christmas in jail.

Have y'ever heard one o' them Salvation Army soldiers yell stuff like, "OH WOW! ONE WHOLE MEASLEY DOLLAR?!! YOU TIGHT-ASSED, HOG-HEADED MOTHER******! FORK IT OVER NOW, OR I'LL STOMP TH'EVER LUVIN' . . . ."

You get the picture. Caused quite a disturbance, I must say.

Amen.

Ya' know, it's funny you should say this.

'Cuz one time I gave a same kind of foul-mouthed Santa a dime. I threw it over my shoulder into his pot. 'Ya know, the black one in that tripod? Anyway, the next thing 'ya know, I'm on the ground and Santa's twistin' my ankles and bendin' my knees the wrong way!! I was screamin', "HELP! HELP!! SANTA'S TRYIN' TO KILL ME!!" Luckily, as I was reaching for a whistle I carry in my breast pocket, my elbow caught his windpipe and I knocked him out. As I was runnin' away, I noticed some elves had appeared from around the corner and they were helping him turn over.

It's a good thing, Uncle Jeb, that I hadn't given him a nickle!

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Old Post 02-09-2004 07:06 AM
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