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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025
California hitchiking poem

To be born on a freeway
an asphalt-skinned snake whose sole destination
is followed with fervor by customized inmates in mobile prisons
Is a curse on the innocent and thirsty by nature.

Thirst and humility are curses
since only so much water
goes to those with bloodstained claws.
Thirsty for wisdom
I grasp at the dark night mirage
and fall into the sand.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 01:24 AM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

It's a revised version from the 1996 original, which was much more "raw", shall I say.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 01:36 AM
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Mordecai
destractivegodofdarkness

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19581

Do you paint your face white?

Maybe with a little spiderweb at the corner of your eye?

What color is your hair?

-m

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Old Post 02-12-2004 01:44 AM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

quote:
Originally posted by Mordecai
Do you paint your face white?

Maybe with a little spiderweb at the corner of your eye?

What color is your hair?

-m


Sorry dude, you'll have to enlighten me.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:12 AM
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Mordecai
destractivegodofdarkness

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19581

Do you have trouble with the english language?

-m

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:27 AM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

quote:
Originally posted by plum
Sorry dude, you'll have to enlighten me.


What I meant, Mr.Simpleton, is what are you talking about? Are you talking about people who pretend to be vampires?

Regardless, I think one measure of a good poem is its ability to reflect the sincere thoughts of the poet at the time of conception. Would you like to swallow your supercoolness and offer your thoughts about the topic of this thread or are you too supercool for that?

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:44 AM
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Mordecai
destractivegodofdarkness

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19581

Ok, sure, I'll add my two cents on your poem, it's fucking worse than the first one you posted. Don't quit your dayjob yet, and burn your Linkin Park CDs.

-m

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:47 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

We were kidding when we told you to post more poetry, btw.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:48 AM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2025

quote:
Originally posted by Paint CHiPs
We were kidding when we told you to post more poetry, btw.


But you were kidding when you said that too, Mr. Simpleton #2, so I can only assume that you all love my poetry and I will continue to post much more unto death.

Honestly, I am flattered beyond belief, but this kind of flattery is getting downright gay don't you think?

Oh, Pleaaaaaaaase.... I know my poetry is good, but hey guys, it's just a poem.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 02:56 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 12164
Re: California hitchiking poem

quote:
Originally posted by plum
To be born on a freeway
an asphalt-skinned snake whose sole destination
is followed with fervor by customized inmates in mobile prisons
Is a curse on the innocent and thirsty by nature.

Thirst and humility are curses
since only so much water
goes to those with bloodstained claws.
Thirsty for wisdom
I grasp at the dark night mirage
and fall into the sand.

This is the greatest poem I've ever read!

It's actually bringing tears to my eyes!!

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Old Post 02-12-2004 03:59 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Viva Le Me

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

That's the pepper spray again, GFY.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 04:06 AM
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Spaceboy
Oblivious poster.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

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Old Post 02-12-2004 04:37 AM
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Fiend
batshit crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10157

I love you goatboy
A classic by our own Goatboy.

quote:
The Downward Spiral

It gets worse
and worse.
Prosy bulimics
puking vile text.

Public domain
at least
equals public shame.

Your.
Poems.
Are shite.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 05:02 AM
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morgana
THE Bitch

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7136

die plum. just die.

write a poem about it first and it will be famous forever, no matter how pukingly awful it is.

mord- you make my unicorn heart cry.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 05:06 AM
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SimpleSimon
?

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 15990

Look, plum, there is only one simpleton on this forum.

Me. SimpleSimon.

Those other guys are pretenders, charlatans, and dumb-asses. Get your shit straight.

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" - John Varley, Steel Beach

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Old Post 02-12-2004 05:37 AM
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SocialParasite
100% pure failtanium.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18506

Your poetry is great, plum!

I suggest you post it ALL at the Asylum (making it property of ImagiNet) so we can sell it for a profit.

And by "sell it for a profit" I mean turn your rancid piles of text into weapons of mass destruction.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 05:53 AM
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Talarohk
The Pedanticator

Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 5073

For whatever it's worth, I actually liked the poem. No kidding. It reminded me of Kerouac a bit.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:03 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17905

hey! I just posted on the Lee thread about how bad yer poetry was, and I hadn't even read this thread yet! You suck!

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:05 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17905

quote:
Originally posted by plum
Regardless, I think one measure of a good poem is its ability to reflect the sincere thoughts of the poet at the time of conception.


no. that's what you'd call the blog of a goth kid who is too self-absorbed.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:06 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
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it's funny, cuz I once racked up a bunch of votes for bein the friendliest guy on the site. I only lost out to BP.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:07 AM
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SocialParasite
100% pure failtanium.

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beatrice, Nebraska
Posts: 18506

quote:
Originally posted by Mugtoe
it's funny, cuz I once racked up a bunch of votes for bein the friendliest guy on the site. I only lost out to BP.


You're still the friendliest by far.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:09 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17905

quote:
Originally posted by Talarohk
For whatever it's worth, I actually liked the poem. No kidding. It reminded me of Kerouac a bit.



Tal, I love ya, but it's gotta be people like you who buy Michael Bolton records.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:09 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17905

quote:
Originally posted by SocialParasite
You're still the friendliest by far.


BP would still win. I'm gettin meaner by the day.

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:10 AM
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Fiend
batshit crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10157

quote:
Originally posted by Mugtoe
BP would still win. I'm gettin meaner by the day.


must be the Texas air, but you still wouldn't beat a New Yorker or a Masshole by far.

but you're still the gayest in my book call me?

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Old Post 02-12-2004 06:12 AM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17905