Spooky
twisty turny thing
Registered: Jul 2000
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 The Book of Barak
The Book of Barak : Chapter One
1. And it came to pass in the days of Bar-ak that peace had come upon the land of Is-rael.
2. And when we speak of 'peace', we speaketh only in reletive terms.
3. And, lo, one of the children of Israel, named Ariel son of Sharon liketh not the peace between the children of Is-rael and the Arab-ites, the Araf-ites, the Hamas-ites, the Hezboll-ites and all the other-its that dwell in the land that was once Pales-tine.
4. And Shar-on girded up his loins and went up unto Jer-u-salem, where he came unto the place that is holy to the Arab-ites, even the Dome of the Rock.
5. Then the Arab-ites saw Shar-on walking in their holy place as if he owneth it, and they did wax exceeding wroth.
6. And the Arab-ites spoke one to another, asking 'Who among us will cast the first stone?'
7. And they cried out with one voice, 'We all will'.
8. Then they gathered up rocks from the ground and cast them at the sons of Is-rael.
9. And Bar-ak waxed even more wroth than the Arab-ites, and said 'The sons of Ara-fat have asked for it this time. Let the smiting begin.'
10. And so it came to pass. There was smiting throughout the land of Is-rael, and sons of Go-liath, with their sling-stones, did not do very well against the sons of Dav-id with their attack helicopters, armoured assault vehicles and heat-seeking missiles.
11. The score at the going down of the sun was as follows(and ye who wisheth not to knoweth the score may look away now): Children of Is-rael 112, Palenstine 7.
12. And behold, in the midst of the smiting, there appeared unto both sides a vision, even of Clin-ton, he that cometh from the land of US and is called 'the Maker of Peace'.
13. And he calleth together Bar-ak and Ara-fat, that they might lay down their arms and fall upon each other's necls and pro-claim that from that day forth their two people would live in peace forever, even as the winged hornet lieth down with the mountain badger in the noonday sun.
14. And so it came to pass, in the town of Sharm-el-Sheikh, which is Hebrew for 'photo-opportunity'.
15. But sadly when Ara-fat and Bar-ak returned each unto his own land, they found that their people were too busy casting stones and smiting to hear the great news that peace had come upon them.
16. And Ara-fat rent his towel, even the cloth that is on his head, and curseth Bar-ek saying 'Goeth ye, even unto hell'.
17. Then Bar-ak cried aloud unto his people, 'Who can dopeth business with such an man? Let the smiting continue.'
18. For it is the only language these people understand, even as the prophet Kabbi hath laid down.
19. And Bar-ak calleth unto Shar-on saying, 'Let us sit down together, you and I, even as the dove sitteth down with the hawk that eateth him for breakfast'.
20. Then rose-up the Arab-ites and the Hezboll-ites and the Saddam-ites and all other-ites and cried 'Let there be int-i-fada, which is to say war without end against the children of Israel.'
21. And so it came to pass, even unto the ninety-fourth day.
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sp00ky
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'Hell is other people' - Satre
'God is Dead' - Nietzsche
'mans life is nasty, brutish, and short' - Hobbes
I quote, therefore I am - Spooky
[This message has been edited by Spooky (edited 11-01-2000).]
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11-01-2000 01:30 PM
