Registered: Jan 2001
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 4420

NFL rule passes 31-1; guess the 1

By Skip Bayless, Mercury News Staff Columnist

This looked even worse than the Super Bowl loss to Jon Gruden's Tampa Bay. This time the Raiders were on the wrong end of a 31-1 score. They cast the lone "no" vote against the NFL's proposed 15-yard penalty for premeditated group or prop-using celebration.

Al Davis, going from outcast to OutKast? Davis, defending Terrell Owens? Davis at 74 saying, "Just Rockette, baby"?

Not exactly. Raiders management had a point, even if it was a slightly paranoid point.

According to team officials, it wasn't that they disagreed with the thrust of the legislation. Choreographed, can-you-top-this celebrations involving more than one player obviously must be curtailed before they go over the "wardrobe malfunction" edge. The self-promotional use of Sharpies and cell phones obviously has to be curbed before T.O. hires P. Diddy to direct his next post-touchdown video.

But the Raiders had this valid concern: This penalty puts too much burden on overburdened and occasionally overwhelmed referees to make a split-second decision on what's rehearsed and what's spontaneous. Their example: Owens pulling a Sharpie from his sock was out of bounds, but Owens grabbing a cheerleader's pompons came off as unplanned and highly entertaining.

Would that now be a 15-yard offense? Who knows?

The Raiders' legitimate fear: Some Barney Fife will throw his flag after a player's innocent, crowd-pleasing display of emotion -- and the 15-yard penalty will help decide the game. The Raiders' tuck-rule dread: Now officiating crews have another highly subjective, loosely interpreted way to steal a game from the NFL's black-sheep, black-jerseyed team.


In fairness, it became far harder to dismiss the Raiders as paranoid after the infamous "tuck rule" reversed a fumble that cost them a playoff game at New England -- and made possible the Patriots' first Super Bowl championship. That was simply the biggest injustice I've witnessed in a game of that magnitude. On a smaller scale, their season-opening loss last season on a Sunday night at Tennessee turned into a Grand Old Robbery of game-changing calls.

It makes you wonder. It makes Raiders officials crazy. Surely officiating crews aren't ordered to crack down on the Silver and Black, but perhaps they're reminded that you've got to watch those guys.

Yet here's the irony: The Raiders have often finished last in on-field celebrating. Off the field has been another unprintable story. But traditionally the Raiders haven't had touchdown-scorers who were anything but old-school classy. Tim Brown and Jerry Rice are far more likely to hand the ball to the nearest official than spike it.

Historically, the Raiders haven't forged the kind of rah-rah, college-style unity that the 49ers have under General Manager Terry Donahue, the former UCLA coach. Typically, the Raiders have had too much pro's-pro pride to jell around some group celebration such as the Washington Redskins' Fun Bunch or the St. Louis Rams' Bob and Weave or the Denver Broncos' Mile High Salute or the Atlanta Falcons' Dirty Bird.

Yet those gimmicks have united and ignited lots of Super Bowl teams and their fans. And now they're outlawed -- all except Green Bay's Lambeau Leap, which involves only one player hurtling into the first row without the aid of a prop.

I'll miss the group choreography, which I mostly found to be harmless fun for the players, fans and even cynical columnists. Though the Competition Committee insists it isn't trying to turn the NFL back into the No Fun League -- spikes and crossbar dunks are still allowed -- the NFL should be more worried about eventually turning into the No Fan League.

Future ticket-buyers will miss the group celebrations far more than I will. They'll think: "What a bunch of granddads run the NFL."

They'll miss one of the most memorable moments of last season -- Joe Horn retrieving a cell phone from the goalpost padding and pretending to call home. I must admit, it still makes me chuckle when I see the "cell-abration," and I walked 12 miles through the snow to school, got no water during football practice and was taught to never, ever do anything more than hand the ball to the ref.

But in the end, the NFL is nothing but entertainment competing with more new forms of video-game, X-Game escape than the NFL has penalties.

Yes, the relatively unknown "Come Blow Your" Horn instantly turned himself into a household name for a mere $30,000 fine. Yes, a message had to be sent before some nobody accidentally made a tackle covering a kickoff and brought the FCC down on the NFL with some line-crossing stunt that bought him 15 minutes of fame instead of 15 yards. Yes, this penalty will be a powerful deterrent because no player wants to face his teammates or coaches after costing his team so dearly.

But the one showboating Raider, University of Miami product Phillip Buchanon, had better be careful about lifting his jersey to display his "Showtime" T-shirt after he runs back an interception or punt. A quick-triggered ref could decide it's a prop. Three or four Raiders running into the end zone to high-five or chest-bump could be deemed choreography, especially late in a tight game.

Now the Raiders have planted fresh seeds of resentment in the backs of refs' minds. The vote was 31-1. And they, as usual, were the one.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

Celebrations after a score are utterly fucking gay. Rugby used to be about the only sport that didn't have it, but it has crept in there too.

Ban all celebrations, I say. As if the game was played by men, rather than effeminate overpaid ponces.

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Registered: May 2002
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Posts: 8650

and take away their pads too, what a bunch of pussies.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

They'd have to replace all their players with heterosexuals before they did that.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9453

Ban soccer, while we're at it. Fucking whimsy fops falling all over the field trying to draw fouls are a pox on humanity and the noble notion of "sport."

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

I wouldn't object to that. Although if they could just stop the prancing around when they score a goal, that would be a start.

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