Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9854

#1 THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER :


8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses


8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday


8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants
open presents, expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner


9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil


10:30 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer


11:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry


12:30 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe


12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice she has gained 17 pounds


1:15 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit


3:00 Nap


4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer


4:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body


5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full
length mirror


7:00 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers


10:00 Hot shower (alone)


10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)


11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling


11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms


VS.


#2 THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM :


6:00 Alarm


6:15 Blow job


6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section


7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by
semi-naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler


7:30 Limo arrives


7:45 Several beers en-route to airport


8:30 Flight in personal Lear Jet


9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)


9:45 Play front nine - 2 under


11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon


12:15 Blow job


12:30 Play back nine - 4 under


2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)


2:30 Fly to Bahamas--nap en-route


3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude
who also bend over a lot displaying growlers


4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) - on light tackle


5.00 Fly home, massage, and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending
over, naturally).


6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave


7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated


7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy filet
steak followed by ice-cream served on a big pair of tits

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Havana cigar in front of wall-size TV as you
watch football game


9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies...some bending
over)


11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer


11:30 A night cap blow job


11:45 In bed alone


11:50 A 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to
leave the room


11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

mods, please correct this thread title to "20 reasons UJ is still living with his mother" please

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7546

is he still living with his mum?

nothing changes

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Cwesting
Posts: 9241

You're approximately 2 years behind on the e-mail forwarding chain.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

He is still living with his mother?

That is gross.

#2 THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM :


6:00 Alarm


6:15 Blow job

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

it's not surprising though, apparently she gives great blow jobs ...

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

Maybe I will move home and give it a try.

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Registered: May 2002
Location: No. California
Posts: 4175

quote:

---

Originally posted by 堑r关
it's not surprising though, apparently she gives great blow jobs ...

---

Unlike your own mother. If she'd have just given a decent blowjob we wouldn't have to contend with you. On the other hand, you're living proof that anal sex can cause pregnancy.

'ey ma, gi' us a wink!

__________________

[Ignore Sig]

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

awww... wrong login again?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 4875

I think this is the third time UJ has posted this exact forward

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
Posts: 47

堑r关. You sound angry at world?

I have old remedy to cure this. I use soft sticks.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

As long as you abide by the 3 ft rule, that sounds like it would do the job.

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

quote:

---

Originally posted by Roco Salata
堑r关. You sound angry at world?

I have old remedy to cure this. I use soft sticks.

---

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
Posts: 47

you need hot bath and soft evening.

I hope you do not get too angry much more. life is short for anger like this...

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 3117

inaccurate.
why be woken by an alarm if a blowjob is coming in 15 minutes?
turn the alarm off, let the bj wake you.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 4875

I now see how you have twenty class points, zim.

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

believe me .. an evening full of eating tastykakes and wine does not equal anger .. quite the opposite

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Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
Posts: 2313

and I have nothing but affection for UJ ... no anger there ..



despite him loving his mothers blow jobs

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location: .
Posts: 8091

quote:

---

Originally posted by 堑r关
An evening full of eating tastykakes and drinking wine does not equal anger .. quite the opposite

---

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 17709

quote:

---

Originally posted by 堑r关
despite him loving his mothers blow jobs

---

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