Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

Marriage. And Its all Asylumnations fault!

well doesn't that beat all.

Smug Git's PhD thread could very well be the cause of an instigation of holy (not quite, as I'm an atheist) matrimony.
As some of you may know, I took a year off from my PhD program to be with my girlfriend back in Denmark.
I am supposed to return to the states for the fall2005/spring2006 semesters to complete my PhD residence requirement, whereafter I will return to Denmark to do data collection and the dissertation writeup.
Things have been going extremely well in the romance aspect of my life. And recently the GF offered to take a year off from her graduate career to tag along for my upcoming one year in the States.
I mention this in an offhand manner in Smug Git's aforementioned thread, and Smug's respone was thus:

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
Do you not have to get married to take the woman with you?

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I hadn't considered this at all, and it could prove a significant obstacle to my plans.

I mentioned it to the GF. She smiles at me, gives me an embrace and a kiss and replies: "Why don't we just get married then?"



I was totally unprepared for that. It wasn't a marriage proposal per se. But a declaration that she is quite willing to do so, if it means that we avoid enduring geographic separation.

We both agree that starting a family is still a few years into the future... but hey. I still think it is a big deal, and if nothing else, a grand declaration of love.

Life is glorious

Cheers
-m

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

Congratulations
Life is pretty grand.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3102

Congratulations!!!

Whereabouts are you planning on settling down? US or Denmark? The whole visa thing is a pain in the bum But where there's a will there's a way.

Good luck to you both. A declaration of love, however big or small it is, is a wonderful thing.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 4875

congratulations

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

quote:

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Originally posted by slappy

Whereabouts are you planning on settling down? US or Denmark?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26385

I'm pretty sure, based on ius primae noctus, that now Smug gets to tag her first.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 7686

Just remember that married members have children.

Goatboy especially so (and he's not even married).

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Registered: Jun 2002
Location: Just to the right of the moon
Posts: 3141

The three rings of life:

Engagement Ring

Wedding Ring

Suffering

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14960

Getting married for immigration purposes ++++++

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mila kura si planina

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Registered: Nov 2003
Location: .
Posts: 7849

I hope you realise what you're doing mudded? Anyway, all the best my friend.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

Thankyee all.

First off... Marriage is not a guarantee that a relationship will work.
I don't even see marriage changing a relationship.
For my GF and I, marriage is social and legal recognition of a relationship.

The relationship-altering (and life-altering) event is when you choose to procreate. This is when things change and deepen.

If marriage was to take place next month or five years from now, there was never going to be a church wedding. No Tuxedo, No white dress, probably no rings either.

After we finish our degrees we are going to hold a celebration, however. Inviting friends and family from both sides to a grand feast, where everyone gets to drink their brains out.

It will happen in a clearing in a forest somewhere, with a sizable contingent of fiddlers to give the drunken horde a tune to dance to.

The marriage (or civil union. Call it what you will) will take place at town hall, with the near family present, and maybe followed by a two-family dinner afterwards.

God has nothing to do with it.

Cheers
-m

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14960

Can we come to the wedding celebration?

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mila kura si planina

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

Not to the legal proceedings at town hall, no.

But ATM I am quite open to the possibility of asylumnites getting drunk in a danish forest with the locals.

It will still be 3.5 years away, though.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

quote:

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Originally posted by Paint CHiPs
I'm pretty sure, based on ius primae noctus, that now Smug gets to tag her first.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
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quote:

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If marriage was to take place next month or five years from now, there was never going to be a church wedding. No Tuxedo, No white dress, probably no rings either.

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Hail Satan!



Can I come to the Wedding Bacchanalia? I'll wear my formal robe.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 17911

does this mean I have to take the pic of yer nuts off my site?

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16691

marriage. primitive idea. try to have some very realistic expectations and keep on laughing no matter what. congratulations.

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taste the fucking rainbow

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 18839

The US doesn't need any more Godless heathens.

She should not subordinate her studies so that you can get laid.

You should not let her subordinate her studies so that you can get laid.

If it's real, it will keep until you have both acheived of your goals.

Don't do drugs.

Check your zipper before job interviews.

Call your mum for Christmas even though you are a Godless heathen.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

@ 4b: nothing will change, except society's obligation to take our relationship seriously. The change comes with the appearance of offspring.

@ Wonderaz: we tried not subordinating our studies for our relationship already . It resulted in us missing each other horribly... but still making it through.

Since This past summer I have subordinated(or rather - delayed) my studies for our relationship, and now she has offered to do the same.

A relationship is not an absolute thing the outcome of which is pre-decided by fate. It is a living breating relationship that requires empathy, effort, time and nourishment.

In any event, we are also going to look into her taking some classes at penn state that she could get credit for at her current institution. Time will tell how that is going to pan out.

Regardless, I am sure she could participate in a research project or two and sit in on some classes, if nothing else to get a head start on a Master's Thesis.

Cheers
-m

Last edited by mudded on 12-08-2004 at 01:37 PM

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35572

Heh, this is probably the most important result of my PhD. Congratulations

She only wants to go to the USA with you to ensure that you don't cheat on her like you did to your last girlfriend, you realise.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: London
Posts: 3010

quote:

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Originally posted by funkyrooster
The three rings of life:

Engagement Ring

Wedding Ring

Suffering

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Last edited by CzEcH rEcK on 12-08-2004 at 01:21 PM

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4988

Ha, you are all a bunch of frolicking kittens.

Cheers
-m

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Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Boston
Posts: 6597

quote:

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Originally posted by mudded
It is far too late for that..
She is mine, my own... my precious.

Cheers
-m

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