Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2570

If I get any more supposedly heartwarming stories I will throw up.

A little Christmas cheer for all from the Australian Bureau of Statistics:

*31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

*19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas
decorations they believed were chocolate.

*Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
incidents.

*101 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

*18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
*A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

*5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of
control scalextric cars.

*3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

*142 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.

*58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. and finally:

*8 Australians cracked their skull in 1997 after falling asleep
(passing out) while throwing up into the toilet.

YEP! its great to be Australian!

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: atlanta
Posts: 6396

australians are fucking stupid

who opens their beer bottle with their eye socket? aside from idiots of course.

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Registered: May 2002
Location: blessed oblivion
Posts: 1495

quote:

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*A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

How the fuck do you die from licking a 9-volt battery?

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mila kura si planina

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5128

Freak out and fall down smashing your head and face on furniture as you fall.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

That's more the fault of the furniture than the battery.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location: Lat: 43° 42' 0 N, Long: 79° 34' 0 W
Posts: 2820

That's what I asked. The best we can figure over here is that they spasmed in shock (just of the feeling, not so much because of the electricity) and choke on it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5128

I can't imagine a 9v battery causing one to spasm at all, but I suppose it happens. Maybe it's battery acid poisoning or a defective battery could explode when shorted against a tongue.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

So we're calling bullshit on this one?

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mila kura si planina

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: b0ulder
Posts: 5128

Dude, she got it in an email. It's unquestionably factual. Our charge is putting the pieces together.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15003

Saw a mate of mine get thrown 2 meters backwards by a 100 or more of those fuckers, probably still has the scars, kill him, it didn't.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: here stupid!
Posts: 1907

quote:

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Originally posted by skalie
How the fuck do you die from licking a 9-volt battery?

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Den
Posts: 11291

quote:

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An email currently in circulation attributing unusual causes of death and injury at Christmas to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) is a hoax, believed to have started via the Internet.

As occurred last year, some media outlets have fallen victim to the hoax by not checking the story and have run it with incorrect attribution.

Therefore please note that the ABS has not published these figures and they should not be sourced to the ABS.

Please adjust any further reporting accordingly.

The official Deaths and Causes of Deaths publication will be released by the ABS on Tuesday, 10 December 2002.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location: 0.50
Posts: 9355

hint: email forwards are always lies.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 16327

Regardless, OZ 'n' NZ are cool. As soon as possible after I give all my shit away, I'm payin' a visit.

Amen.

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Den
Posts: 11291

quote:

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Originally posted by buddha's penis
hint: email forwards are always lies.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: sydney
Posts: 2202

Coincidence = Spoilsport

Sorry that was me - absolut
Ruined the sleekness of the post.

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