willimo
Erythrophiliac
Registered: Jan 2003
Location: mediocre apartment
Posts: 2634 |
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
Yeah, and how mad would you be if I started keeping an extra set of clothes at my other girlfriend’s house? Whoops…
2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night, half asleep with a hard on because someone didn’t put out and had to pee? Try to aim that!
3. If we're watching football with you... it's not bonding...it's their butts.
So don’t bitch when we watch porn. It’s for their tits.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
The movies you want to see suck, I have to do something to entertain myself.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
Lay off your mother's perfume all the time.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
Learn to drive.
7. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
Yes. I will be sure to do that, right after I research the number of accident reports where the investigating cop’s at-fault decision was affected by a mini-skirt wearing driver.
8. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
Or I just wouldn’t ask you.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
That’s not gossip, that’s public service.
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
Stop telling us that female strippers are disgusting whores, that’s why we like them.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
Maybe you should do it when I am around, and I’d like you more.
12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance... in fact...please do!
Get out of the damn way, mirror hog.
13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours"...the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.
What the fuck is an “outfit?”
14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.
When we ask you a yes or no question, please keep your response to less than a epic.
15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.
Go talk in the other room and quit bugging me.
16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
Why? Your tits are more interesting than your face.
17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.
What about all that mud you track into my car and grind into the carpet because you "didn't know you stepped in mud and dog shit?"
18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?
We do want to cook – hot dogs and frozen pizza. If you wouldn’t complain about it, I’d cook every night.
19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
While you’re gone we talk about the one with the biggest tits.
20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.
How do you know? You're not in the alleged "Boys Club." There has to be some reason for the glass ceiling.
__________________
Hey carrot juice, I want to squeeze you away until you bleed.
Report this post to a moderator |
IP: Logged
|
![[new thread]](/images/vb/button_newthread_off.png "Post New Thread")
![[post reply]](/images/vb/button_newreply_off.png "Post A Reply")
12-14-2004 12:36 PM
