Registered: Dec 2004
Location:
Posts: 205

I am a big believer in life on other planets. However, I hate a different spin on the matter. Lots of hillbillies get abuducted every year and are subjected to the dreaded anal probe. If it were just one or two hillbillies, I would blow the matter off entirely. But there are so many hillbillies out there who have been probed anally by these little creatures, that one has to lend the issue some creedence.

This is what I think: Let's look at Earth. We are the superior beings. We ride around in hellicopters and bag and tag lions, water buffalo, wolves, etc. We don't probe them anally. What we do is hang little clips on their ears to track the beasts. The beast aren't very intelligent, so none even realize that they have a monitor on their ear and are being tracked.

Now let's say that the aliens are superior. Well, that's a safe assumption. They'd have to be since they have space travel down. Now let's say they are making a documentary about human life on Earth for their brethren to watch on their version of a PBS nature show. They certainly can't tag our ears. That would be too intrusive for these liberal aliens who don't want to encroach upon our natural habitat too much.

So what option do they have if they wish to bag and tag us? That's right. Find an unsuspecting hillbilly that no one will believe in the first place. Then knock him unconscious. You know what happens next! The old anal probe. Suddenly you've got yourself a nice little alien nature show that the colony can view. Oh, the dirty bastards!

Last edited by littlebill on 02-26-2005 at 08:20 PM

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

Is this spam?

-m

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 16306

At least it is somewhat entertaining, if poorly written and plagiaristically conceived, spam.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19114

I would be fairly easy to track hillbillies I suppose. It isn't like they go far.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35656

Shooting them would be better than tracking them, and less effort.

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
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quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
Shooting them would be better than tracking them, and less effort.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19114

And good shots too. If not, they go hungry. Ain't like city folk that get to go to a store.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35656

I wasn't suggesting it as a sporting event where they get to see what you're up to. If need be, use napalm, rockets or artillery.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona
Posts: 19114

It is a sporting event. It's like skeet that can zigzag.

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Registered: Jan 2003
Location: mediocre apartment
Posts: 2634

quote:

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Originally posted by littlebill
We are the superior beings.
We don't probe them anally.
The beast aren't very intelligent, so none even realize that they have a monitor on their ear and are being tracked.

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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 4164

I doubt that a technically superior life form would travel huge distances to probe anything anally, it's like driving 5000 miles out of your way to eat in a greasy-spoon roadhouse.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
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quote:

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Originally posted by FuhQall
I doubt that a technically superior life form would travel huge distances to probe anything anally...

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24752

What I want to know is why everyone who has ever filmed a UFO has had Huntington's Chorea and the inability to use the focus controls.

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Insatiation
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quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
...to probe anything anally

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10442

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
Rokkr only flew cross-country, however.

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24752

Perhaps, but the fact that he is an alien life form is supported by empirical evidence.

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Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 6416

quote:

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Originally posted by Rokkr
I saved that for my next visit.

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__________________

[Ignore Sig]

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35656

quote:

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Originally posted by cw
OMG! Whose finger was that?

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Insatiation
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Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 6416

My internerd alien finger is bigger than yours.

And depending on the sort of anal probing, a variety of human secrets could be discovered. Aliens weren't born yesterday.

Attachment: alienfinger.jpg
This has been downloaded 74 time(s).

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Registered: Aug 2004
Location: ohio
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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: China
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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
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quote:

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Originally posted by Rokkr
I saved that for my next visit.

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: south afrika
Posts: 16802

quote:

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Originally posted by skalie
Who are you visiting next time, Mugtoe?

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
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No it fucking wont.

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