Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

It's a day early but it's never a bad time for bad poetry.
Post your Smug odes, limericks, haiku, photochops and everything Smug related here!

Smug git is a man
I am pretty sure of it
He pees standing up

Happy Birthday smug
miss your puddles on my floor
you are a bad aim



Happy Birthday dookie!

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taste the fucking rainbow

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Montreal
Posts: 2984

There is a Smug upon my stair
A little Git that isn`t there
He wasn`t there again today
Gee, I wish SmugGit would go away

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"Please pardon my levity, I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd." R A Wilson (R.I.P)

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 11769

Äú»¹Ã»ÓеÇ
½»òµÇ½ʱ¼ä¹ýÆÚ,
Çë·µ»ØÖØеǽ¡£

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

There once was a man from the UK
They called him Smug and it was his birthday.
No strippers or drugs at his party no sir,
But plenty of perverse deeds there were.
Beakers and cum
Microscopes, vomit and rum
Chemistry sets, laboratory pets, shameful regrets, bodily possets
And it was all government funded.

The end.



I made art.

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taste the fucking rainbow

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24302

What can one say about a Git who is Smug,
Pedantic, and witty, and will soon wear a rug.
He thinks he knows all and he is practically right,
Except when we meet for beers Friday night.

It is then that he sees just how little he knows,
In the presence of Troll whose own genius shows,
That having much schooling and a special degree,
Is of simply no use when dealing with me.

Hailing from Limeyland over the pond,
A nation we saved from being long gone,
Smug is a fellow of the PhD ilk,
Consuming his beer like a baby does milk.

At holding his drink he is remarkably skilled,
But his chestnut-sized bladder is easily filled.
His frequent excursions to the toilet prove this,
That Smug gives new meaning to taking a piss.

He knows him his physics and a whole lot more,
Like how to buy in bulk when he goes to the store.
And while he thinks yanks are stupid and fat,
It’s stuff bought a Walmart that fills up his flat.

A Platunum Member of Sam’s Club is he,
And when offered a french fry he’ll always take three.
And it is only a matter of time ‘til he tries,
An order at McDonald’s and goes super-size.

Yep, Smug is a chap who knows way too much,
And he will be the first one to tell you just such.
But clearly he knows less than half what I do,
And he’ll be the first one to tell you that too.

Actually, that last part was a blatant lie,
I just thought I’d add it, I don’t know why.
But I think that I’ll keep seeing things just that way,
As I wish my friend Smug a Happy Birthday!



Cheers, old stick.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

There once was a guy who liked cricket
Who tended to come to the wicket
In a dark sort of cloth
More fit for a goth
And with hair resembling a thicket

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Registered: Dec 2000
Location: Smith County
Posts: 1366

Rose are red
Violets are blue
Smug Git likes the cock

Fin.


Happy whelping-day.

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Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Beringia
Posts: 5207

Smug's wit makes me laugh, often, until I hurl,
before today, though, I thought she was a girl.

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10243

daily pitted, I,
against fusillade of words.
the Git strikes again.

Happy Birthday, windbag!

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Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 5073

Bald! Bald, bald, bald. Bald;
Bald bald bald. Bald bald, bald! Bald!
Bald...bald. Bald and smart.

A most happy birthday and no offense intended, my good man. After all, my hair is merely growing weird-looking in preparation for departure.

Schrodinger's feline
Was both there and yet not there
Not so with your hair.

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Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 14954

quote:

---

Originally posted by Talarohk
Bald! Bald, bald, bald.......

---

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10243

Fat, bald internet
chick puts wind tunnel to shame--
still, sexy genius!

Haaaaaa! The truth is out.

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Registered: May 2002
Location:
Posts: 8649

happy birthday smug,
you are a fucking faggot
(five more syllables).

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: is futile
Posts: 4983

Congrats. I'll leave the rhymes up to the top dawg; MC hawking.

Sing it to the tune of Naughty By Nature's, O.P.P...

quote:

---

Entropy
Entropy, how can I explain it? I'll take it frame by frame it,
to have you all jumping, shouting saying it.
Let's just say that it's a measure of disorder,
in a system that is closed, like with a border.
It's sorta, like a, well a measurement of randomness,
proposed in 1850 by a German, but wait I digress.
"What the fuck is entropy?", I here the people still exclaiming,
it seems I gotta start the explaining.

You ever drop an egg and on the floor you see it break?
You go and get a mop so you can clean up your mistake.
But did you ever stop to ponder why we know it's true,
if you drop a broken egg you will not get an egg that's new.

That's entropy or E-N-T-R-O to the P to the Y,
the reason why the sun will one day all burn out and die.
Order from disorder is a scientific rarity,
allow me to explain it with a little bit more clarity.
Did I say rarity? I meant impossibility,
at least in a closed system there will always be more entropy.
That's entropy and I hope that you're all down with it,
if you are here's your membership.

You down with entropy?
Yeah, you know me!
Who's down with entropy?
Every last homey!

Defining entropy as disorder's not complete,
'cause disorder as a definition doesn't cover heat.
So my first definition I would now like to withdraw,
and offer one that fits thermodynamics second law.
First we need to understand that entropy is energy,
energy that can't be used to state it more specifically.
In a closed system entropy always goes up,
that's the second law, now you know what's up.

You can't win, you can't break even, you can't leave the game,
'cause entropy will take it all 'though it seems a shame.
The second law, as we now know, is quite clear to state,
that entropy must increase and not dissipate.

Creationists always try to use the second law,
to disprove evolution, but their theory has a flaw.
The second law is quite precise about where it applies,
only in a closed system must the entropy count rise.
The earth's not a closed system' it's powered by the sun,
so fuck the damn creationists, Doomsday get my gun!
That, in a nutshell, is what entropy's about,
you're now down with a discount.

You down with entropy?
Yeah, you know me!
Who's down with entropy?
Every last homey!

---

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: Centrally isolated
Posts: 280

Aping E.E. Cummings is not something I get to do everyday.

Photons bouncing to and fro,
her cold, dry cavity warms slowly.
My flux minimal,
her superfluidity responds linearly.

Becoming more engaged this experiment is pleasing.
As I probe deeper, the response - greater than expected.
Now geometrically increasing.

The atoms atop the supple skin eddy,
As I further synchronize our induced dipoles the motions increase
and I am reminded of soft waves lapping a long coastline.
The period is too long - however.

More power I squeal,
Hitting the surface with all I have coherence begins decaying.
Fluid gushes, and I am there.

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

that was hot.

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taste the fucking rainbow

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24302

Heh, so that's what physicists read at the sperm bank.

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 24302

Not a poem, but they say a picture paints a thousand words.

Last edited by Trenchant_Troll on 03-03-2005 at 11:39 PM

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Registered: Apr 2001
Location:
Posts: 16671

That's great.

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Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 6368

SmugGit would now know, why.
we know why.
the sun
so my
friend Smug odes, limericks, haiku, photochops and when
he knows, In the pond,
A
chap who do not. post to a
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git that if !you
can one Private Messages User Control Panel Online Search
Forums BODY { : #000000; : #CFCFCF } A:nation
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PM [P] Bluexy Active COLOR: #
E2D790; : cat A:blatant lie, I
thought I’digress. What physicists read
at the fucking rainbow.

SmugGit s and with a flaw.
The sun,
so fuck is Smug, related here! the
first definition I
squeal, Hitting
the explaining. You down with a legal
order, at least in
1850 by those who
knows In a measurement of
perverse deeds
there were. Beakers and
a man
from Limeyland over
the freaky freak Registered:
Jul 2000 2002, Location: Posts:
2042 Bald! bald. bald.


(gener
ated)

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Location: USA
Posts: 24302

The best poem yet. Go figure.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9166

I can't be bothered to think of anything, so I'll donate the detritus from my inbox:

A Poem for the French - written by an American Patriot....

Eleven thousand soldiers
lay beneath the dirt and stone,
all buried on a distant land
so far away from home.

For just a strip of dismal beach
they paid a hero's price,
to save a foreign nation
They all made the sacrifice.

And now the shores of Normandy
Are lined with blocks of white:
Americans who didn't turn
from someone else's plight.

Eleven thousand reasons
for the French to take our side,
but in the moment of our need,
they chose to run and hide.

Chirac said every war means loss,
perhaps for France that's true,
for they've lost every battle
since the days of Waterloo.

Without a soldier worth a damn
to be found within the region,
the French became the only land
to need a Foreign Legion.

You French all say we're arrogant.
Well hell, we've earned the right--
We saved your sorry nation
when you lacked the guts to fight.

But now you've made a big mistake,
and one that you'll regret;
you took sides with our enemies,
and that we won't forget.

It wasn't just our citizens
you spit on when you turned,
but every one of yours
who fell the day the towers burned.

You spit upon our soldiers,
on our pilots and Marines,
and now you'll get a little sense
of just what payback means.

So keep your Paris fashions
and your wine and your champagne,
and find some other market
that will buy a French airplane.

And try to find somebody else
to wear your French cologne,
for you're about to find out
what it means to stand alone.

You see, you need us far more
than we ever needed you.
America has better friends
who know how to be true.

I'd rather stand with warriors
who have the will and might,
than huddle in the dark
with those whose only flag is white.

I'll take the Brits, the Aussies,
the Israelis and the rest,
for when it comes to valor
we have seen that they're the best.

We'll count on one another
as we face a moment dire,
while you sit on the sideline
with a sign, "friendship for hire."

We'll win this war without you
and we'll total up the cost,
and take it from your foreign aid,
and then you'll feel the loss.

And when your nation starts to fall,
well Frenchie, you can spare us,
just call the Germans for a hand,
they know the way to Paris!

Please forward to all Americans, so they will not forget.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35561

I feel sick.

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