Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

Just some humor

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the
mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the
Swiss. Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the
lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians.


Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
(1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
(2) Advising the President.
(3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
-- David Letterman

The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain,
involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The
hypothalamus controls the "Four F's":
1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3.feeding; and 4. mating.
-- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course

A Dictionary of common dating terminology

ATTRACTION
the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT
what occurs when two extremely horny, but
not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING
the process of spending enormous amounts of money,
time, and energy to get better acquainted with a
person whom you don't especially like in the present
and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL
avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm,
using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY
a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT
a method utilised by a single woman to communicate
to a man that she is interested in him. Despite
being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty
looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily
due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that
a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND
a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance
who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her
totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE
a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by the man as "playing hard to get."

INTERESTING
a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT
what the endearing little qualities that initially
attract two people to each other turn into after a few
months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY
how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your date
is.

NYMPHOMANIAC
a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.

SOBER
condition in which it is almost impossible to fall
in love



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Would you like a plush toy?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 7236

LOVE: A concept invented by bank managers to make you overdrawn.

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sp00ky
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'everyone I've loved or hated always seems to leave'

I quote, therefore I am - Spooky

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7113

Damn those bank managers, and their banks. Damn them all to hell!

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Would you like a plush toy?

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