ItsJustLogan
le pour soi
Registered: Aug 2000
Location: baton rouge, la
Posts: 4101 |
 anyone else have lobster for thanksgiving?
One morning around 5 AM, 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up
with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but
when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was
very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.
She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into
the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing
pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out
of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides
of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors
called the police.
When medics arrived they found Ms. DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of
her bathroom wearing nothing but her bathrobe. Running down her leg, was a
stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a
stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg, which was bent, crossing her other
leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he
lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at
which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way
out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.
Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile
bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat
there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and
forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea
setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw
was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without
convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp
flipping and splashing at a furious pace.
If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci
official death was the result of a combination of shock and
severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw
what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the
toilet and then on the floor.
It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she
had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she
gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At
that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip
it's tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX video
in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The
lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces
of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that
had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face
was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's
digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings.
Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the
water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the
lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was
torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci
was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at
that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to
grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea
Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the
mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the
pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over
1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.
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We spoke our minds too clearly. We assumed fundamental rights were inherent not as pawns but humynz. I do not require a gauge for freedoms of speech cuz I never asked to be a citizen. I never have and never will pledge allegiance.
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11-24-2000 11:53 PM
