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Nutrimentia
plata o plomo

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9462

The value of a diploma

quote:
Amusing adventure in buying a diploma Note the one bold line I emphasized.

This Is Gene. He's a Little Worried About His Diploma. He knew that paying $750 for a degree he didn't earn seemed a little fishy. But Michelle made it sound SO enticing. By Gene Weingarten
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, October 15, 2000; Page F01

7/31/2000

UNIVERSITY DIPLOMAS

Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power and the admiration of all. Diplomas from prestigious non-accredited universities based on your present knowledge and life experience. No required tests, classes, books. . . .

Bachelors, masters, MBA and doctorate (PhD) diplomas available in the field of your choice. No one is turned down. . . . Call NOW to receive your diploma within days!!

8/1/2000

To: Tom Shroder, Sunday Style Editor
From: Gene Weingarten

I received the enclosed e-mail yesterday, clearly part of a mass mailing.

Since I do not actually have a college degree, I thought I would take these people up on their nice offer. Do you think The Post would be willing to spend a few bucks and let me close this little hole in my r�sum�? (In 1972 I left NYU three credits shy of a degree to go undercover for a magazine story on teenage street gangs. I never made it back to school.)

I telephoned the number they gave and got a callback from a woman named Michelle. She said the degree costs $1,400 for a package that includes a diploma along with "a custom-made transcript" reflecting an entire course of study. She also said that if I wished, she would "backdate" the diploma and transcript "to match your age." Michelle warned me that Brentwick University is unaccredited; this meant, she said, that I could not use it to get a teaching position at a university, but that otherwise it was a perfectly valid document. When I expressed some concern that the school was unaccredited, she said: "Harvard is unaccredited. You don't need to be accredited to be a good school."

She suggested I e-mail her my qualifications, but added: "Don't drive yourself crazy. If you feel you have the background for our degree, we're willing to stand behind you." I propose that I go through with this, and print excerpts from all the correspondence. Is that worth $1,400 to The Post?

8/2/2000

Gene,

I agree, with two caveats: Post reporters must identify themselves as reporters, and reveal their interest in writing a story. So if you proceed, you cannot misrepresent your background or your intentions. No material misstatements of fact. Moreover, $1,400 is a bit much. I can't authorize any payment over $750. -Tom

8/3/2000

To: Tom
From: Gene

No problem.

8/5/2000

Dear Brentwick University:?I remain intrested in obtaining a diploma from your college. I spoke with a young lady named Michelle, and she reccomended that I (briefly!) summarize who I am and what my life experiences has been.

My name is Gene Weingarten. I went to NYU many years ago, but believe it or not left school to join a street gang in the South Bronx. I never returned to recieve a degree and regret it to this day.

I am a licensed auto mechanic and I also fix broken antique clocks. I consider myself a good writer, and have written many stories that my family thinks are very well written, and I can drive a stick shift car. Michelle mentioned that you can back-date your diploma. Because I am 48, I would like it to read 1972. Can you also make it look old, like a little yellow?

Michelle also said that you supply actual transcripts, with courses that are like the way I lived. I would ask that you have a course in clock repair, which I would definitely get an A in, and mechanical engineering, which I would get a B-plus in, in my opinion. I would also like something very scientific, such as outer space physics, which is something I definitely would have studied if I finished school. I think I would have got a B in that. Also, if I took nuclear chemistry I would have got a B. I am not making up these grades I would have got.

If I had to summarize my life experiences, I would say that I am mostly a very suspicious and extremely shrewd person. . . . I haggle and usually get what I want and that is what I am proudest of. Maybe also I could have taken a course in business negotiating 101 or something, which I would get an A-plus-plus in. So let me say this that Michelle said your diploma costs fourteen hundred dollars which is too much.

I WILL PAY YOU EXACTLY SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS and not a penny more. I think this is a fair price, and if it is OK with you I will send you a certify check for three quarters of the amount ($500) and the final $250 upon the satisfactory reciete of the diploma. Let's seal this deal right now.

Underneath, I have written a more lenthy summary of my life. I urge you to take the time to read it.

GENE WEINGARTEN
AN INTRESTING LIFE

The fact is, when I was born in October 1951 it was raining and I think that explains a lot of who I am and who I became. I believe there is always rain in life but you have to stick out your tongue and catch the raindropes and taste the wetness. Basically, I am an optomist. I believe very much in not dissapointing yourself. When I married my wife, Arlene, I did not expect much and so I was very nicely surprised because she turned out to be an excellent person and a good wife . . . I named my dog, Harry, after the president of the United States, Harry Truman, whose middle name was S without the period only my dog does not have a middle name or a middle initial because he is only a dog! You probably are intrested in what I think about life and politics and history and I am going to tell you now. I am very grateful to live in the United States which is a land of liberty and gives people an opportunity to rise from humble backgrounds to be anything they want. In terms of things like art I do not understand poetry that does not rhyme or the art they have in some museums where you just don't know what it is.

I repair antique clocks, which requires a lot of time (haha) and patients, you have to spend hours cleaning every clock and each gear individually. Every clock has a winding gear, and a second gear which is connected to the hands, and a third gear and a fourth gear, which is also called the escape wheel, and then something called the verge which transfers the power to the pendulum, which you know what it is. Some clocks also have a whole nother set of gears that make the clock chime. This is called the striking train, or striking mechanism and it consists of a first gear and a second gear that is arranged next to a count wheel that keeps track of the number of times the clock strikes, so that the hour after it strikes, say, four, it will strike five. Then there is a third gear that also has a cam on it with two indentations (at least in American clocks; in German clocks it has a star on it, but that is a whole nother story!) and the purpose of this is to make the hammer hit the gong when the clock strikes on the hour (and sometimes on the half hour, but that is a whole nother story too!) Clocks, as you are seeing here, are very complicated, like this letter which is roundabouts trying to tell you I write for the Washington Post, which is a big newspaper in Washington, and I am going to write about you so be careful, but that is a whole nother story too! Anyway, the final gears in the striking train are the pin gear, which has a little pin coming off it, and the flywheeel, which is basically a fly wheel that uses a sort of paddle-fan thing to make the chime go slow enough so you can hear it.

When I was 18 I learned to drive a stick shift car, and I think personally that this is a very important skill for a person to have and I have taught my wife, Arlene, and my children, Molly and Dan, to use a stick shift also. I forgot to mention that I also have a garden where I grow tomatoes and a kind of pepper called a banana pepper, which is mild. I do not like very hot peppers.

8/8/2000

Hi. Sorry that it took me so long to get back in touch with you but I must admit your letter was one of a kind and took me some time to digest. From what I can see of your essay you have delt with the world of hard knocks as best you could with both fists moving. The rain drop analisis is interesting and bespeaks someone always moving ahead dispite difficultys. But as far as a degree goes I am as yet unclear on several aspects.

One is your motivation for wanting a degree. 2 is your focus in this. I am unsure at this point about a discount but I am looking into it for you.

What bothers me is that I do not see this as a true need on your part but rather a game in which you want to wiggle out of me any subject that you can. That is not the point of our school. We are here to make a difference in people's lives and not for dart throwing.

Be in touch when you are focused on your real goals and inlighten me on them.

Be well, Michelle :-)

8/10/222

Well I am just not sure what you do not understand. I think I explained my motives clearly in my life summary which I hope you read. I don't understand why you are making fun of me which you seem to be doing.

I am a serious person and I am seriously wanting a diploma so I can show the world that I got one, and believe me I will show the world because I will be proud of this and how this happened.

Maybe this is not a good idea after all, so if this explanation is not enough then we can just call it quits and no hard feelings. But if a discount can be worked out and you are still intrested then lets do it. I definitely will not pay more than $750.

Anyway, thank you and if this falls through it is ok. . . . Thank you Michelle.

8/10/00

I never make fun of anyone!

Perhaps I was not clear in understanding your letter which I did read several times. Now I do agree that if you have not recieved a collage degree that it would be worth while. As for 500 down there is no problem in that but so far I only got you a discount of total 1000$ in 2 payments or $800 in one. We will be in touch, OK?

Michelle :-)

8/23/2000

Hello Michelle do you remember me. I am the guy that wanted your diploma. Look, it sounds like this isn't going to work because you said $1000, not $750. I am thinking you desided that I am not college material and this wouldn't be the first time that people underestmated me.

Anyhoo, in case you are still intrested, I have modified my proposal, and streamlined it for your consideration. The bottom line is still $750, but here are my concessions: I will pay it all at once, in advance so long as you promise in writting to send me the diploma. I am going to let you slide on the requirment that it be made to look old and yellow. Also if my discount means that I cant get as good grades as I wanted that is OK. But I definitely demand an A in business negotating and I guess you see why! I would like nuclear chemistry but if you say no that is OK.

Listen Michelle, I am getting kind of upset over how long it is taking because I kind of think that you don't think I deserve this and the thing is I don't want your diploma just because I am giving you money. I think I have had a very intresting and educational life and I think I have demonstrated collegelike smarts but if you don't think so lets stop this now ok?

I am sorry if I sound angry but I dont like to be made to felt stupid. Thank you Michelle and if I don't hear from you soon I will know this is over and that is OK. Are you a professor?

8/23/2000

I do feel you have a ton of life experiences and yes 750 at one payment is ok. I do apoligise if you think I was underestimating you. That was not my intention.

I happen to think that someone like you could propably change the world, and I am NOT joking! You have covered many areas and come out ahead. So lets start over.

Now as for payment we can use your credit card.

Be well and happy, Michelle :-)

PS: How could I forget you!

8/24/2000

I never give my credit card number out to anyone so I will have to pay you by certify check or by telegram.

8/24/2000

Paying by Western Union is fine with me and I will send info as how to do it but first send me your info: phone, address, what degree etc . . .

Thanks Michelle :-)

8/25/2000

Ok, Michelle, so here we go. I will be sending you the telegramed money on Monday. First I only need from you one more email message, for legal purposes, that you tell me a few things.

1. Please tell me that in return for my $750 I will get a fancy looking diploma that shows I am a graduate of Brentwick University in London and it has to say I graduated in 1972 or 1973. I would like to have got a bachlor of science but a bachlor of arts is also OK.

2. Please tell me I will get a transcript that shows I completed at least four of these courses: outer space physics, business negotiating 101, nuclear chemistry, and clock repair. I will take just three if all four are a problem.

3. Tell me your last name and everything so I can sue you if I don't get this stuff (ha ha I am just joking.)

Ok, that's it Michelle! I am thinking of you like you are my combination professer and dean and university president! I hope you are old and gray and dignify looking. Hahaha. Just kidding Michelle. As I said this will be great and I will frame it and take a picture of it so I can show everyone here and tell them how I got it. I will be proud of how I got it becuase I think I showed real enterprize.

Thank you Professer Michelle.

8/30/2000

Spoke to the office for you and the dean feels that a business degree is best with your options for the extra courses that you need on the transcripts. We give for extras like Greek philosophy and public speaking but you can have the courses that you would like like clock was it repair, etc. How does that sound to you?

Michelle :-)

8/31/2000

GREAT! A business degree would be Great! I know I drive a hard bargain and I thank you Michelle. Greek is great because if I had took Greek then maybe all these things about life that puzzle me won't seem like Greek to me! Hahahaha. I mean, like I never understood some complicated movies like Citizen Kane where they made such a big deal about the sled.

This is fun! I will get to be smart for the first time in my life, not smart like being smart but smart like having people think I am smart because I have a piece of paper that says it and maybe you will get more clients on account of I will show it off to, like, a million people. Thank you Michelle.

9/3/2000

Hi . . .

This is a business degree. I can't give too many of these science courses for such a degree. I am sorry about that.

9/5/2000

OK Michelle now i am confused. A business degree was not my idea it was yours. I wanted those courses because they are like my life, see? I would prefer a degree that lets me take them.

Look for $750 I think I have the right to know what will be in my transcript so I have to ask you to tell me before I pay you for it. I have the money right here but I am not going to send it if I don't know what I am going to get. I am sorry if I seem angry but I am confused and I am one of those people who don't like it being confused. You got to tell me the exact courses. Thank you.

9/6/2000

Gene. I am on your side and I really am trying to get this to work for you. BUT I have not seen a class in outer space physics and I would like to know how you have had experience in it. Is it offered in a school near you? If you in fact did take such a class we will include it although it is not listed by us. The others are fine and are listed as courses in the school. Do you also have a nuclear chem background???? The management and leadership classes are cool because I believe you have those qualities. You know I would be sooooo happy if we could talk this out. Your registrar Michelle :-)

9/9/2000

Look the thing is I don't know what you mean have I taken any classes in outer space physics. Of course I haven't. I haven't taken classes in any of these subjects. But I watch the Discovery Channel and I have read a lot about outerspace physics, for example I know what a black hole is. It is a big huge giant amount of nothing out there from stars that have exploded in. I know these thing so why are you asking me about classes I took? As far as nuclear chemistry I just like the sound of that.

Ok, look, here is where it is:

You send me a message and tell me which of the classes I will get, and I will immediately either say no and we will be done or I will say yes and we will be done.

9/10/2000

OK Gene, I went to the top for you and got permission to have this diploma reflect what you want. We will include all manner of courses that appeal to you.

This is your degree and I am trusting that it will be used well.

9/11/2000

GREAT! THANK YOU! I AM EXITED!

I would like a bachlor of science, with a major in physics, because I have watched a LOT of physics on TV. Please confirm this in an email and I will send you the $750.

9/12/2000

I am pleased to be able to confirm the following: You will receive a Bachelors in Physics. Graduation date: June 1972. Your degree will be issued with summa cum laude honors, custom transcripts, letters of recommendation, and a miniature replica.

In addition and most importantly, you will receive unlimited support from us, which includes our verification of your credentials to prospective employers or anyone else who inquires. The total sum of your invesment will be 750$. Wishing you much success,

Michelle

9/13/2000

Surprise! You've just received a Yahoo! greeting from 'Michelle'

-- A Toast To You -- Congratulations!!! on a job well done.

I hope that this degree is everything you always wanted!

9/26/2000

Michelle I think you know why i am writing to you. I am happy you sent me that e-mail postcard but I am asking for my money back and you know why.

You told me things that weren't true and I wasnt asking for much. I got that diploma and it was very nice and I don't have any complaints about the diploma only why did your letter say it was a 'sample' diploma. Also you promised me I would get a transcript and the letter said there was a problem getting me the transcript with the courses I asked for. You said my diploma would be based on my life.

Why did you do this Michelle? I only wanted what I asked for a diploma that is real and a transcript which you promised and I did not get.

9/26/2000

Don't worry about the word sample!

We only say that as a legal protection for us in case someone lies and buys it for their dog, or whatever. . . . If you have the ability you can consider it not a sample.

Gene, calm down I am not lieing or trying to cheat you! I think you should calm down and look at it for a few days. We will send the classes you want if that is your wish but there is no such classes as some of the classes you asked for. Now if that does not bother you to have the classes on your transcript that do not really exist we can do it. But the school did not want you embarrassed to have classes listed that people will know have no basis in reality. . . . Please don't be angry. I will do what I can for you and you will get the degre as I promissed. It may not all come at the same minete but sometimes things in life do require a bit of time and patience! You are certainly bright in my calculations so be in touch with me. And smile, you really do have a degree! Michelle:-)