Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26502

The “Quality Versus Quantity” moniker is obviously some kind of sick joke, but its intended meaning is to indicate that this is the bracket for users who have received a fair few nominations despite not quite having the staying or posting power of the other three brackets. This bracket is, in other words, the bottom of the Dumbfuck barrel. Either people so new as to garner some attention, despite the fact that we likely won’t remember them in a year (anybody remember Lee?), people who got nominations despite being the Dumbfuck equivalent of Canadian Football Teams, and just a catchall assortment of also-rans. The shitiness of this bracket notwithstanding, don’t underestimate the potential of this grouping to provide some legitimate contenders in later rounds. So, without further ado....

Azrael (1) vs Avondale (16): The first match in this bracket looks like one that might be more at home in one of the more Old Guard groupings. Both are users who have been around awhile, who are well known to most of us, and whose Dumb Fuckery is the stuff of legends.

Surprisingly, this is Avondale’s first trip to the Big Show, having been disincluded in the original tournament. Azreal, on the other hand, went all the way to the finals last time, where he went head to head with GoFuckYourselves!, and lost. Six rounds, beating ponyslayer, squee, pj, Caffiene, and a single vote squeaker against Rizz in the semi-finals, only to lose. Second place in a stupid contest. How sad is that?

Azrael also has the distinction of being Ms. Unicorn Heart 2004, another title that will probably be ripped from her ample bosom this year, with contenders such as plum and edle breathing down her neck. However, don’t count Azrael out yet. Her number one seed here is a legitimate one, as legitimate as any in this tournament, reflecting the fierce competitor in Dumb Fuckery that Azrael is known to be. Let’s face it, most of the Limey Brigade are pretty dumb and obtuse, and have terrible senses of humour (sic). Azrael, however, dominates because she balances out those characteristics with a distinctive lack of any redeeming qualities whatsoever. And though this has been a rebuilding year for Azrael, a quick search of her posts in the last 28 months show that she hasn’t lost her fighting Dumb Fuck spirit, even if most of us have stopped reading anything she says. Old Dumb Fucks don’t die, they just get boring.

Avondale looks pretty weak in the face of the known stalwart. Although, he still has a few things going for him. First and foremost is that dumbfuck tradition of dedicating a *999 post to him. I’m not sure where that started, or why it continues, but it’s pretty dumb. Also, any picture of Avondale will quickly incite in most people immediate revulsion. He’s got this weird “trying to look androgynous but without having the face to pull it off” look to him that sparks, at least in me, dry retches more often than not. Also, similar to torque, Avondale is a South African expat living in the American South.

But, I strongly suspect that despite Avondale’s not ignoble resume of Dumbfuckery, he will merely be a footnote of the competition. The big question isn’t who will win this match, but how far Azrael will go this year.

Alice (8) vs. dogcow (9): Many might not be familiar with Alice, who spends most of her time posting in PDM. She follows in a long tradition of crazy right-wing Israel and Clinton-obsessed female political wingnuts on the rag, in the euphorbia/tigerjez/lucidnightmare mold. Alice also additionally claims to be a negro, but that is as yet unconfirmed.

dogcow, on the other hand, tends to stick to not sticking his neck out too much. He’s like an Australian or something. He doesn’t like guns or hunting, and keeps getting in dumbfuck arguments about it with torque. He doesn’t like music. After 2000 posts, I think that’s all I can say about him definitively.


......



You know, this isn’t working. I have to admit, I don’t really know anything about most of these fucking people. Queen Nuwa? Chey? Willimo? What the fuck. I can’t even pretend that I can write good commentary on any of these matches.

So, rather than strain myself, and because Rokkr is MIA and Large Filipino doesn’t answer his fucking PMs, I decided to go to a group of people who know everything. To put the task to a bunch of people known for their quick commentary, witty banter, and massive depth of knowledge. Our chat channel, #wota.





Azrael (1) vs Avondale (16):

[01:35] [paintchips] okay, match one
[01:36] [paintchips] Azrael vs Avondale
[01:36] [paintchips] what do you guys think?
[01:36] [cw] PNG is a goat fucker from brawl-hall
[01:36] [cw] whoops, i typed out of order
[01:36] [paintchips] Actually, I already wrote that one
[01:36] * cw wanders off on smoke break
[01:36] [mattdk] A brawl-fucker from goat all?

Alice (8) vs. dogcow (9):

[01:36] [paintchips] Alice vs dogcow
[01:36] [Torque] ooohh. people!
[01:37] [paintchips] I know Alice is a PDM whore
[01:37] [paintchips] and she claims to be negro
[01:37] [mattdk] See? He's bursting at the seems
[01:37] [paintchips] What about dogcow, how is he stupid?
[01:37] [Torque] hey all!
[01:37] [CRSR] Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?
[01:37] [paintchips] I know torque wants a piece of that
[01:37] [paintchips] Alice is this lucidnightmare/tigerjez/euphorbia clone
[01:37] [paintchips] mostly talks about Israel and the Clintons
[01:37] [Torque] gompie!
[01:37] [paintchips] dogcow
[01:38] [paintchips] what's the wota impression of him?
[01:38] [Torque] dont know him
[01:38] [paintchips] what?
[01:38] [paintchips] He's spent like three threads yelling at you about hunting
[01:38] [paintchips] come on
[01:38] [Torque] ahhh. okay.
[01:38] [cw] he asked me for an avatar when he was new
[01:38] [paintchips] yes he did
[01:38] [CRSR] he's the one from venice?
[01:38] [paintchips] yeah
[01:38] [Torque] yeah. he has a commie flag
[01:38] [paintchips] Australia
[01:39] [mattdk] Posts from wifi-coffee shops, sips quietly. Loves a fat penis once in a while?
[01:39] [CRSR] austria
[01:39] [paintchips] That's the one
[01:39] [mattdk] Austria man, Austria
[01:39] [paintchips] That's what I said
[01:39] [paintchips] Australia
[01:39] [paintchips] whatever
[01:39] [paintchips] Venice, Australia
[01:39] [paintchips] Okay
[01:39] [paintchips] So that's Alice vs. dogcow
[01:39] [paintchips] NEXT

littlebill (5) vs. urbanjunkie (12):

[01:39] [mattdk] haha
[01:39] [paintchips] littlebill vs. urbanjunkie
[01:39] [Torque] my buddy from austria has a sticker on his desk that says "austria, no, we dont have kangaroos"
[01:40] [paintchips] littlebill is the guy that does the Asshole of the Week and Hero of the Week threads
[01:40] [paintchips] the bi-monthly ones
[01:40] [cw] littlebill has news flashes
[01:40] [cw] along with his wet dreams
[01:40] [Torque] littlebill is pretty cool
[01:40] [mattdk] We do read the forum, ya know
[01:40] [CRSR] UJ still alive?
[01:40] [paintchips] I don't know
[01:40] [paintchips] He might have gone back to fight the infitadah in turkey or something
[01:40] [cw] maybe he's dead then
[01:40] [paintchips] That would be pretty stupid of him
[01:41] [paintchips] Dying, I mean
[01:41] [cw] he should have been teamed with PNG!
[01:41] [paintchips] nice seque, but we're not there yet
[01:41] [paintchips] Man, cw is totally down with PNG
[01:41] [cw] especially if it was unintentional
[01:41] [paintchips] Okay, so we all agree that littlebill is the dumb one?
[01:41] [paintchips] NEXT

FasterPussycat (4) vs. Mudflap (13):

[01:41] [paintchips] Fasterpussycat vs Mudflap
[01:41] [paintchips] I always get Mudflap and Simon's son confused
[01:42] [paintchips] Because they're both like Hyper Tribe guys I guess
[01:42] [paintchips] But Mudflap uses slappy's font color
[01:42] [paintchips] I think
[01:42] [mattdk] Who's Mudflap's son?
[01:42] [mattdk] An infant?
[01:42] [paintchips] What?
[01:42] [paintchips] No, Simon's son
[01:42] [paintchips] Satan'sLeftHand
[01:42] [mattdk] Oh
[01:42] [CRSR] SLH
[01:42] [cw] we don't
[01:42] [mattdk] FP is not from THT
[01:42] [paintchips] Being a hypertribe guy, surely Mudflap has a long history of stupidity
[01:42] [paintchips] Aggressive stupidity, probably
[01:42] [Torque] mudflap is the game
[01:42] [paintchips] no, she's not
[01:42] [CRSR] isnt that mudded?
[01:42] [paintchips] She's like a Meena clone
[01:43] [paintchips] no, mudded is the anthropologist guy at Penn State
[01:43] [Torque] fp is a puddle of suck
[01:43] [CRSR] ah
[01:43] [paintchips] getting married soon, or is married recently
[01:43] [paintchips] from a foreign land
[01:43] [paintchips] BUT STAY ON TASK PEOPLE!
[01:43] [cw] i vote puddle of suck
[01:43] [paintchips] Okay
[01:43] [paintchips] Two votes puddle of suck
[01:43] [paintchips] NEXT

PNG (6) vs. Chey (11):

[01:43] [mattdk] The task is eating drugs
[01:43] [paintchips] PNG vs Chey
[01:43] [paintchips] cw has a lot to say on this one
[01:43] [cw] the task is drinking beer
[01:43] [paintchips] PNG is turkish
[01:43] [paintchips] and not PostModGirl
[01:43] [Torque] the task is digestion
[01:44] [mattdk] Mmmm hmmm
[01:44] [paintchips] And like, cryptic
[01:44] [paintchips] I never understand what the fuck PNG is talking about
[01:44] [cw] PNG is persona non grata
[01:44] [paintchips] Aint' that the truth
[01:44] [paintchips] ZING!
[01:44] [Torque] iliiterate vs irellevant
[01:44] [mattdk] PNG is an alcoholic with no alcohol
[01:44] [paintchips] And Chey is just some FWA whore
[01:44] [cw] most of his posts at BH are dumped
[01:44] [paintchips] Who is also a Meena clone, I guess
[01:44] [paintchips] Isn't PNG Turkish like urbanjunkie?
[01:44] [mattdk] Um, can't you tell who the alts are?
[01:44] [paintchips] what is BH?
[01:44] [paintchips] BH
[01:44] [paintchips] hrm
[01:44] [Torque] brawl hall
[01:44] [paintchips] Ah
[01:44] [cw] brawl hall try to keep up
[01:45] [paintchips] Man, we're still getting those guys?
[01:45] [paintchips] wtf
[01:45] [cw] aren't you taking notes?
[01:45] [paintchips] I'm just going to post this straight log
[01:45] [cw] i think he followed me over
[01:45] [Torque] is that where the latest bucketfull of tards came from?
[01:45] [cw] cuz i rool
[01:45] [paintchips] And Chey is just some nobody
[01:45] [paintchips] and PNG is a brawlhawl urbanjunkie
[01:45] [paintchips] NEXT

DavidVengeance (3) vs. willimo (14):

[01:45] [mattdk] PC that's lazy-talk
[01:45] [paintchips] DavidVengeance vs willimo
[01:45] [paintchips] Seriously, I don't know anything about willimo
[01:45] [mattdk] You could have written several paragraphs of nonsense at this rate
[01:46] [cw] willimo is one of those 'nice guys'
[01:46] [paintchips] DavidVengeance we all know. He's like Meena's man-servant or something
[01:46] [Torque] willimo builds model cars
[01:46] [cw] he should finish last
[01:46] [paintchips] willimo is gay?
[01:46] [paintchips] yes
[01:46] [paintchips] okay, willimo is the gay car dude
[01:46] [paintchips] Who the fuck builds model cars anyway?
[01:46] [mattdk] Doesn't willimo post in pdm half the time?
[01:46] [paintchips] does he?
[01:46] [CRSR] what divison is this?
[01:46] [paintchips] Maybe. Hell if I know.
[01:46] [paintchips] The last bracket
[01:46] [paintchips] bottom left, Quality vs Quantity
[01:46] [cw] the who the fuck knows these posters division
[01:46] [Torque] he posts there. it's all whiny candyassed liberal crap.
[01:47] [paintchips] ah
[01:47] [paintchips] ok
[01:47] [paintchips] that makes sense
[01:47] [mattdk] You don't read other people's posts there do ya?
[01:47] [paintchips] if he's teh gay
[01:47] [paintchips] what do you mean "there"
[01:47] [mattdk] PDM
[01:47] [mattdk] :P
[01:47] [cw] PDM
[01:47] [cw] duh
[01:47] [cw] man you're dumb
[01:47] [paintchips] I don't read other people's posts, period
[01:47] [mattdk] Ah
[01:47] [paintchips] no "there" about it
[01:47] [cw] heh
[01:47] [paintchips] okay, so that's DavidVengeance vs willimo
[01:47] [paintchips] NEXT

Susanna (7) vs. mudded (10):

[01:47] [paintchips] Susanna vs mudded
[01:48] [mattdk] Be sure to add that Willimo is Metro
[01:48] [Torque] mudded likes the bone
[01:48] [paintchips] Now I know mudded. He's the Penn State guy that studies bones and is married or going to be and is foriegn
[01:48] [cw] mudded is smart and has a bone collection!
[01:48] [paintchips] yeah
[01:48] [cw] i demand he withdrawl
[01:48] [cw] misfit
[01:48] [paintchips] And helped dispel the myth that Aaliyah is teh beuatiful still
[01:48] [paintchips] Okay, so Susanna will probably win that one?
[01:48] [paintchips] Who the fuck is Susanna?
[01:48] [Torque] how do you remember stuff like that
[01:48] [CRSR] think so
[01:48] [mattdk] Susanna is a hardcore hawleyalt
[01:49] [cw] no brainer
[01:49] [Torque] susanna is smart. she's from georgia.
[01:49] [paintchips] Ahhh
[01:49] [cw] ^pun
[01:49] [paintchips] Yeah, thanks Torque
[01:49] [cw] bwahahahaha
[01:49] [paintchips] that'll help her chances
[01:49] [paintchips] So she's from Georgia, and mudded is teh smart
[01:49] [Torque] everyone from georgia is smart, you know.
[01:49] [paintchips] We'll just leave it at that then
[01:49] [paintchips] NEXT

Meena (2) vs. Queen Nuwa (15):

[01:49] [cw] unlike kansas
[01:49] [mattdk] NOT ORVILLE REDDENBACHER
[01:49] * mattdk vomits
[01:49] [paintchips] LAST ONE
[01:49] [paintchips] Meena vs Queen Nuwa
[01:49] [paintchips] I think the big question of the tournament is
[01:49] [Torque] same person
[01:49] [paintchips] Who the holy hell is Queen Nuwa?
[01:50] [cw] can't they be eliminated?
[01:50] [paintchips] I don't even vaguely recognize that one
[01:50] [cw] like killed off or something?
[01:50] [Torque] just preload 400 votes for meena
[01:50] [cw] or represented by smilies?
[01:50] [paintchips] ha
[01:50] [Torque] then announce queen nuwa as the winner
[01:50] [CRSR] our token black poster?
[01:50] [paintchips] smilie vs. smilie: the death match!
[01:50] [mattdk] So...CRSR...QN is nominated and not you
[01:50] [paintchips] No, Alice is the black poster
[01:51] [paintchips] Actually, I almost want Queen Nuwa to win it all
[01:51] [Torque] yes
[01:51] [paintchips] To have a massive groundswell of support that carries her all the way
[01:51] * Torque pulls down the shades, and lights a cigar
[01:51] [CRSR] Drunks dont count in dumbfuck tournements
[01:51] [paintchips] and then whenever she posts again in three months she can return to like a surprise party in her honor
[01:51] [CRSR] ha
[01:52] [cw] diabolical
[01:52] [mattdk] Friends don't let friends post drunk
[01:52] [Torque] just wait until the next round. i'll be campaigning by explaining moral clarity to all you heathens.
[01:52] [paintchips] But really, the salient point in this bracket
[01:52] [paintchips] is that willimo is probably teh gay.
[01:52] [paintchips] I think we can all agree with that.


[01:52] [paintchips] Any last words?
[01:52] [mattdk] He's moving to a gay commune with Lanin. Those are my last words
[01:53] [Torque] seconded
[01:53] [paintchips] cw, CRSR, whoever else has been talking?
[01:53] [CRSR] the horror
[01:53] [paintchips] Man, Rokkr is going to be so pleased with my go-getivitness
[01:54] [paintchips] I totally have this done now.
[01:57] [mattdk] Don't forget to add that when David reregistered, he listed his old pernts in his sig
[01:58] [cw] oh, a dumbfuck fact
[01:58] [CRSR] ouch[02:03]
* cw changes topic to 'welcome to #wota you guys are fucking useless

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Incidentally, this poll will only be active for 2 days, because it was late. And the other ones will be up for three days from the moment they were posted. After that, polls closed.

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Registered: Oct 2000
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What about those of us, who live in other countries and must mail in our votes?

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Registered: Aug 2000
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I remember Lee. Very hazily, but I remember him.

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
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quote:

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Originally posted by Paint CHiPs
Incidentally, this poll will only be active for 2 days, because it was late. And the other ones will be up for three days from the moment they were posted. After that, polls closed.

---

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Paint CHiPs
Incidentally, this poll will only be active for 2 days, because it was late. And the other ones will be up for three days from the moment they were posted. After that, polls closed.

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quote:

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Originally posted by mattdk
What about those of us, who live in other countries and must mail in our votes?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: In a Blue, Blue State
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Diebold isn't involved in this, are they?

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Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
Posts: 11045

wtf. all i ever got from #wota is some random smugbot chatter and cooking recipes from ssimon.

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Registered: Jul 2000
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They don't take kindly to Australians.

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who does?

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Registered: Apr 2005
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i hear austrians have no problem with aussies.

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Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
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except for the kangaroo envy, that is.

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Registered: Nov 2004
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Posts: 808

wota für alles! cw is comedy gold.

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if alice keeps catching up i'm posting a "european vs. usa electronic music" thread.

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Registered: Oct 2005
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pretty much everyone in this category is Meena's clone!?!

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Man, you should have asked for my help with this one, Paint. Especially DavidV vs Wilimo. Suffice to say that this decision left my mouse pointer hovering longer than any match-up thus far; in other words four seconds.

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You can still do it. Go for it, TT.
And how bout Meena vs. Queen Meena(a.k.a: Queen Nuwa)?

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