Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

OK, kill tradition for a minute ... kill the image of heirloom ornaments, handmade children's crafts, matching glistening balls from Illuminations (or one of the mods, for that matter). Forget the twinkling star, the garland, the tinsel.

Imagine, instead, a tree decorated with shrunken heads and grenades, topped by a hand of glory. And string together milkcarton kids' photos to make a garland.

Now, imagine your own alternative tree. What ornaments would you use? Tree topper? Garland?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

Decorated with the prepuces of my enemies.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

quote:

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Originally posted by Goatboy
Decorated with the prepuces of my enemies.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15130

One word: Cheese.

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10442

molted snakeskin garlands, used tampon ornaments

tree-topper: a foam hand giving the finger, preferably neon green

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

I'd rather have an entire tree constructed of stainless steel branches, with the little ovoid punch out from soda can tops for leaves, garlanded in razor wire, galvanized nails hanging like icicles, and a turbine blade for a topper.

-m

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 26135

This is the new fad. More room for presents. I think this is very cool. I bet you can put presents on top of the tree too.Or maybe a glass top for your train set and miniature town.With fake snow.And lights.
And FUN.
YES.

Attachment: upsidedownxmastreesm1vz.jpg
This has been downloaded 71 time(s).

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Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Beringia
Posts: 5262

I want to replace my wife's nativity scene with a diorama of micky mouse fucking jesus in the ass while waving the american flag.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

That would be absolutely disgusting.

Unless of course jesus was wearing an iraqi flag.

-m

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Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Beringia
Posts: 5262

as a turban.

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 26135

It would be cool if it ran on batteries so it would move in and out.
And if you could set the speed.

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Registered: Jan 2001
Location: library
Posts: 19584

Yes well, that might make it hard to identify.

Perhaps the turban could be partly unravelled. You know, due to the horseplay.

-m

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4501

The flag could be a cape?

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Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Beringia
Posts: 5262

or the soft and nurturing shroud that Micky and the bleeder have cast upon the ground to cushion the impact of their ardor and prevent sandburn

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9187

quote:

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Originally posted by Mordecai
Pre-empting TT?

-m

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Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 16306

Anybody remember the Disney animated flick a few years ago, Anastasia?

Burger King did a promotion tie-in to the movie, sold little battery powered trains/track sets that were designed to look like the train from that movie. I have three complete sets of the train/tracks in orignal boxes. Anybody interested?

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 15130

Fun stuff.

Wasn't by Disney, though. I think it was Fox.

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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 998

I like Mord's idea. With a fleshlight at the top. No charges would be filed for Santa's manslaughter.

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: US
Posts: 3547

coathangers and aborted fetuses

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10442

no wire hangers!

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: US
Posts: 3547

wire hangers are coat hangers
next time I'll be more specific, but I assumed it was implied

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 26135

ok. Just fetuses. Each fetus should have a name with a picture of what they would look like as a teenager stapled to their bodies. Then stapled to the tree.

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10442

eh, I wasn't serious. ever since Mommie Dearest I love yelling No wire hangers! at any opportunity.

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Registered: May 2002
Location: blessed oblivion
Posts: 1495

not stapled. hung by a noose.

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Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 10536

I think I'll just do the traditional thing. I like shooting down my own tree.

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