Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Disgusting den of creepitude
Posts: 10840

A couple of weeks ago my friend comes up to the house with a case of beer ,wife related mental issues (she makes him mental, fat twat anyway), and a desire to tell me all about them. Hmmm, not much fun I'm thinking, but what the hell, he had beer. Not wanting to annoy my wife with his blather I suggest grabbing some guns, taking a spin up on the hill, building a fire, and shooting stuff.

Well, he speaks his peace, I drink his beer, and it's time for me to go home. While making the loop around the hill, we happen upon a logging operation and there in the head lights is an old bulldozer.

I'm sure people know where I'm going with this, huh?

As it turns out, my pal next to me happens to be a mechanic and explains to me that these particular bulldozers just have a not so hidden main power switch and to start it all we had to to is find the switch and fire it up, why not? The keys were still in it.

So, we fire this old sumbitch up and take a spin. That didn't take to get dull so we took turns plowing up a big pile of dirt and debris. Once the pile was about fifteen feet high, I parked the cat on top and we left.

I wonder what those loggers thought when they went to work the following Monday?

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Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9475

KILLDOZER!!!

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Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 4236

They probably thought, "Jeez, look at what some dickhead has done."

Greenpeace would probably think, "Jeez these dickheads stopped a logging operation, we'd sign them up but it's a pity they used so much diesel in the process and upset the ground enough to cause just a little more soil erosion."

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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Cwesting
Posts: 9092

He'd have thought, "I can almost guarantee this was perpetrated by young, white males between the ages of 15-25."

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Registered: Jan 2002
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 3840

and he would have been wrong!

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35782

quote:

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Originally posted by Rokkr
He'd have thought, "I can almost guarantee this was perpetrated by young, white males between the ages of 15-25."

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Still Orygun
Posts: 10493

I'm just laughing.

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Registered: Nov 2005
Location: somewhere between here and there
Posts: 329

Watch out for the false teeth though.

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Registered: Jan 2003
Location: mediocre apartment
Posts: 2653

quote:

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Originally posted by Rokkr
He'd have thought, "I can almost guarantee this was perpetrated by young, white males between the ages of 15-25."

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

no, they created an onramp and left it parked on it

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

at least they didn't run over any protestors with it, compelling smug to write more poetry.

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
Ode to Bulldozer Girl

Oh, Bulldozer Girl
Your name sounds like that of a superhero
But you have no special powers
Apart from making people slip when they walk
Through you.
And that isn't much good
Because they can just
Walk around
The messy puddle
That you have become.

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Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
Posts: 11046

that's beautiful.

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Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18478

don't encourage him

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 25502

Why do they call them 'bulldozers'?

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Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Beringia
Posts: 5397

quote:

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Originally posted by Pinecrika

story

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Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 25502

Of course there were no injuries, you dolt. He said he was shooting at stuff, remember?

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35782

quote:

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Originally posted by Mugtoe
at least they didn't run over any protestors with it, compelling smug to write more poetry.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4538

quote:

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Originally posted by Smug Git
I was at the dizzy peak of my powers then.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35782

Ah, things were so much clearer to me then.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4538

Somewhere along the way you lost sight of the fact that you're a fag?

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35782

The other kids at Junior High must be in awe of your snappy insults.

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Registered: Aug 2001
Location: Hilbert Space
Posts: 35782

Oh, wait, wait.

I fucked your mother.

Gotcha.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4538

Alas, the other kids in Junior High were only in awe of the best boy. I was unable to compete with such overwhelming innate coolness.

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Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 26795

If I was a logger and I saw that on Monday,I would have thought that something supernatural has happened.

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Vote for OBAMA so Wonder can FLY!!!!!!!!!

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