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Alice
Soft Tissue Damage

Registered: Nov 2004
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 416
Not Harry Met Sally.

Alice Behind the Looking Glass
Not Harry Met Sally.


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Old Post 12-28-2005 07:12 AM
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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
Posts: 11486

i love the way you write those. hope writing it down is helping you in some way.

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"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." ~ Castaneda

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Old Post 12-28-2005 12:34 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18998

I'm still not clear on what happened to this guy beyond him having passed away somehow.

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 12-28-2005 01:42 PM
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skalie
the honourable

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15477

How the fuck did you read that into the story?

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Old Post 12-28-2005 02:00 PM
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T
tiTalating Revelator...

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: Behind this monitor.
Posts: 6479

quote:
Originally posted by skalie
How the fuck did you read that into the story?


Her other blogs speak of it.

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Old Post 12-28-2005 02:06 PM
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plum
Last Man

Registered: Jan 2004
Location:
Posts: 2071

Strange how one's emotions in relation to one's family tend to accentuate during the holiday season. If those relations and memories are positive, then all the better. Otherwise it's worse. This time would suck indeed for me if I didn't have the internet.

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Old Post 12-28-2005 03:33 PM
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skalie
the honourable

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: ........
Posts: 15477

quote:
Originally posted by plum
This time would suck indeed for me if I didn't have the internet.


Maybe write some more poetry?

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Old Post 12-28-2005 04:18 PM
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Mugtoe
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 18998

oh yes!!!

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quote:
Originally posted by magnolia
never waste a hardon, trust a fart or pass up a breath mint when offered.

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Old Post 12-28-2005 05:30 PM
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Alice
Soft Tissue Damage

Registered: Nov 2004
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 416

quote:
Originally posted by dogcow
i love the way you write those. hope writing it down is helping you in some way.

Thank you. Such a simple thing for you to say--but it makes a huge difference in how I feel.

I don't know if the blog is helping. This morning at five fucking o'clock, I was cursing myself out for trying it. I had a really seriously bad health episode about the time my husband got really sick--and one of the things that made life so impossible is I could not sleep. I literally did not sleep for years. I'd crash for a few hours at a time, but my doctor said it wasn't REM sleep. It wasn't sleep that gives rest. I was a zombie. I was so sleep deprived, I couldn't read or cook. I couldn't think.

So, last night, for the first time in about two years, I couldn't sleep for shit. I knew it was because I cracked the door with this blog.

Some people would say that's good--to go ahead and face it--but I'm not thinking I can endure this right now. The torture is indescribable....for someone with my level of verbal skills, anyway.

I guess with everything the way it happened--I can't face his life in context. You know how we sort of arrange things neatly before we file them away. "He lived a long life"...."She loved me and I told her I loved her before she died"...."It was his time..." I can't come up with one. They're all intolerable.

mugtoe---I'm sorry my entries are so disjointed. The author is, too. There are a lot of things I can't categorize and name. I'm just going to have to do the best I can, as I can--btw--I enjoy reading you. Your blogs are incredible. They sort of help me. They probably help everybody in some way.

Not Harry Met Sally made me relive those first weeks together for the first time in many years. I saw some things that happened from a vastly different viewpoint. It make me feel worse than when I started.

I'm not suicidal now, but I was not long ago. I'm already on the highest dosage of anti-depressant I can get anyone to prescribe me--I know what it's like to start sliding down, so I'm afraid to go too fast. I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows what this is like. Thanks, anyone with the patience to wade through my misery.

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"This excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness." Rudy Giuliani

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Old Post 12-29-2005 01:46 AM
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Hawley Griffin
faith is the answer

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: kingdom of christ
Posts: 17817

you are more interesting then i originaly thought (just read your other blog entires).

keep writing

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Old Post 12-29-2005 02:23 AM
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